Harley: As you know, I keep a list of all my friends in order of how likely they are to betray me.
Zsasz: Where am I on the list?
Harley: Well, I cant tell you that because you’ll quickly move up or down depending on your reaction.
Penguin: Honestly, I just wish everyone would stop making short jokes about me. It doesn’t really help my self esteem.
Joker: That’s kind of a tall order, don’t you think?
Riddler: Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was such a big issue for you.
Hush: Aw, I feel bad for causing such an inconvenience, no matter how small it was.
Penguin: ...
Zsasz: *peeks into the room* You’re Short.
Riddler: It’s a known fact small creatures are more vicious than most. It’s because their anger has less space to be bottled up.
Hush: That’s ridiculous! Give me one good example.
Deadshot: Terriers.
Firefly: Wasps.
Talia: Spiders.
Zsasz: Penguin.
Zsasz: There’s a monster under my bed and it’s ugly.
Penguin: *on the bottom bunk bed* ...fuck you.
Penguin: What’s something you can say both during dinner and sex.
Zsasz: This’d be a lot more fun if you were alive.
The Rogues: ...
Ivy: That’s it I’m out. *leaves*
Zsasz: Oswald, truth or dare.
Penguin: Truth.
Zsasz: Was The moon landing faked?
Penguin: ...Wha-
Harley: ANSWER THE QUESTION, PENGUIN!
Harley: Hey, what time is it?
Zsasz: I don’t know. Pass me that saxophone and I’ll find out.
Harley: Okay.
Zsasz: *inhales before blowing into the sax as loud as he can*
Penguin: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT 2 AM!?
Zsasz: *turns to Harley* it’s 2 am.
Penguin: Pass me my keys.
Zsasz: Okay. *throws printer through penguin’s car window*
Penguin: ...I said keys.
Zsasz: Oh, I thought you said printer.
Penguin: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I SAY PRINTER!?