Damian: it’s almost time to switch from my regular old everyday knives to my fancy Christmas knives.
Tim: there’s a difference?
Damian: yeah, the Christmas ones light up.
Tim, on top of a building: I’m gonna jump!
Damian: Do a flip!
“Who named it ‘parenting’ when they could’ve named it ‘heir conditioning’?”
— Talia al Ghul, about Damian Wayne
Dick: There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Jason way.
Tim: Isn’t that just the wrong way?
Dick: Yeah, but it’s faster.
Tim: Listen, you’re cute but you’re too enthusiastic.
Stephanie: But I-
Tim: Call me when you realise nothing matters.
Jason: Jesus Christ, is that a gremlin?
Bruce: Jason, that’s Damian.
Jason: Whatever, just nobody feed that fucking thing after midnight.
Jason: Just know that this pro and con list is going to be a waste of your time! The end result is going to be, “Damn, this plan is awesome, that list was pointless. I wasted all that paper and ink. Sorry, trees. Sorry, squids.”
Tim: Wait. Is that where you think we get ink from? Squids?
Jason:
Jason: No...
Tim: Has anyone ever told you what a drag you are?
Damian: Everyone. Constantly.
Damian: I don’t really have friends.
Dick: Bold words coming from someone who is within hugging range.
“A human heart costs $442,000 and I gave you mine for free, you ungrateful bitch!”
— jason todd, after a breakup
Bruce: *on the phone* Jason, the worst thing you can do in this situation is take matters into your own hands.
Jason: got it. *hangs up*
Jason: we’re gonna have to take things into our own hands.
Jason: i’m done being careful.
Dick: you think you’ve been careful so far?
Damian: surgery is just stabbing someone to life.
Dick: please never become a surgeon
Dick: we both look great tonight.
Jason: if you said ‘you look great tonight’, i would’ve said it back
Dick: i couldn’t take that risk
Cashier: woah, 58 boxes of mac and cheese, having a party tonight?
Dick:
Cashier:
Dick:
Cashier:
Dick: sure
Dick: sorry, i can’t go on patrol today, the stress isn’t good for the baby
Bruce: what baby?
Dick: me.
Dick: man, I would love it if someone took me out right now
Barbara: well, it’s a good thing I got us dinner reservations, then!
Jason, pointing a gun at Dick’s head: get out of my shot, Babs