S3E8 gave me strong cafe AU vibes.

Modern with magic Au: There is a distinct separation between the world of humans and the world of monsters. Since most human beings are not aware of the world of monsters, the world of monsters remains a mystery to them. Geralt of Rivia is a member of an organization that is known as the Witcher. Besides hunting monsters, witchers are supposed to make sure regular humans don't learn about the monster world.

It used to be that Geralt and Jaskier used to date and were very deeply in love with each other. It was, however, not a happy ending as Geralt was afraid to tell Jaskier about the world of monsters, so they broke up. Jaskier's safety is a concern for Geralt since he fears that if he finds out about monsters, then he would be in danger. The decision was made by Jaskier to leave as he believed that Geralt was cheating on him with Yennefer.

On occasion, Geralt and Yennefer worked together on jobs, they even dated for a short period of time. However, they decide to remain friends. Yennefer helps Geralt's daughter Ciri with her magical abilities.

The heartbroken Geralt makes the difficult decision to let Jaskier go. Eventually, Geralt comes to the conclusion that Jaskier has a regular human life that would be jeopardized if they were to be together.

So a few years pass, and Geralt continues to watch Jaskier from a distance. Every time Jaskier realizes that he has come up with a new song, Geralt makes sure to be the first person in line to hear it, just so he can hear the voice once again.

However one day Yennefer comes with some shocking news. A changeling has been discovered who has yet to be able to fully gain control over their powers. Fae are powerful creatures which, in comparison to most magical beings, are kept even more hidden from the public eye. The main advantage of Changeling is their ability to be incredibly powerful since they have all the regular powers of Fae, but Changelings do not have the weakness of Fae. A Changeling's only has two weakness that of iron and if someone learns their true name, not their human name, but their true fae name. Consequently, the Changeling will be compelled to obey the commands that he has been given.

Records indicate that there has not been a Changeling in years. There have been rumours circulating, however, that a soothsayer has predicted a changeling will bring about a change in fate that will last forever.

Geralt is told by Yennefer that he must find the Changeling in order to train them to use the Fae power inside of them. The Changeling is also being pursued by an unknown force that plans to use its powers to accomplish some unknown goal.

The changeling is tracked down by Geralt by using a special device that he uses to trace its location in the city of Novigrad. The job of Gearlt is to locate the fae and then bring them back to Kear Morhen so that the changelings will be safe.

Geralt finds the Changeling after saving them from kidnapping. Only problem is the fact that the changeling in question is none other than Jaskier.

Now, Geralt tries his utmost to keep Jaskier safe and unaware of the world of monsters. However, it appears that Geralt had failed as the musician possesses uncontrollable power and is being hunted down. At the same time, Jaskier is grappling with the realization that the magic is real and he has a part in it.

In order to take Jaskier to safety, Geralt and Jaskier embark on a cross-country road trip for the first time since the breakup. A romance that once flourished starts to bloom again

modern AU geraskier. jaskier is a part time musician part time 3-other-jobs mostly holding his own in a high up crappy apartment, geralt is a witcher who is down on his luck and really needed a nap

Ok I’m taking the first one for Geraskier.

The man was lying on the ground with his limbs splayed out into the aisle. Geralt could hear his soft sobs as he crept towards him.

He cleared his throat, looming over him. "Is everything...alright? Are you injured? Do you need help?"

Geralt's eyes were fully adjusted to the dark, so he saw the man shake his head. He was young, probably in his twenties.

"No, I'm not alright. I am emotionally devastated."

There was a little slur in his voice, indicating that perhaps he had taken advantage of the half price wine bottle specials.

Geralt knelt, and used his flashlight to gently and awkwardly pat the man on the shoulder. "There, there."

The man rubbed his eyes. "Thank you, kind stranger."

Geralt had to get him out within five minutes, but if the man had just gotten news of a death or something tragic, he didn't want to be a dick about it.

"Did something happen?"

The man sobbed softly again. "Yes! A movie! That you showed me! You did this to me!" He rolled onto his side, then as though the movement offended him, he flopped back onto his back.

Geralt knew that the documentary on fireflies played in this theater, but for a moment he doubted his own sanity. Maybe it was that tearjerker where the beloved pet died at the end. Maybe he had gotten it confused.

"Was it....the...fireflies??"

"Yes!" cried the man. "Obviously!"

Geralt sat back on his haunches and thought for a moment. "What is so sad about that one?"

The man made an incomprehensible sound of frustration. "Are you serious!?"

"Well. Yes. But you should sit up and tell me. The carpet is filthy."

The man reluctantly pulled himself up to sit. Geralt was one stair lower than him and he peered up at him.

"You have popcorn in your hair."

The man ignored that. "They are so trusting!"

"The fireflies?"

"Yes!!" The man's hands flew out, making expressive loops in the air. "The fireflies!"

Quick! Funniest reason for someone to become a villain

Has a crush on the hero and can't be normal about it

@everything-but-the-not-natural

Real reason jaskier became a villain also we need a tag for it

Hummmm @0dde11eth how lengthy do we want it?

good bard goes bad

love corrupts all

bad news bard

have love will villian

traveling village villian (play off traveling village idiot)

Wolves vs flowers?

Either that one or good bard goes bad

Geralt carrying around the engagement ring for MONTHS waiting for the perfect moment to propose

He finally does, one evening. They've ordered their favorite takeout. Roach is cuddled on the couch with them and purring. They are rewatching jaskiers favorite musical, and geralt looks over to jaskier who is mouthing along to the show without even realizing.

Geralt pulls the ring out of his pocket and nudges jaskier, holding it up without a word.

Jaskier begins to cry, "Geralt I'm wearing sweatpants!"

“so?” geralt asks, looking up at jaskier through thick lashes. so unfair, jaskier thinks, taking a hiccupping sob.

“so?! i want— geralt, its you! i want to look good enough for you to marry! you’re all— gods, you’re you, and i’m me—” he babbled, clutching a throw pillow to his chest.

“jaskier.” geralt said firmly, cupping jaskier’s chin in his free hand. “i’d marry you right this minute if we could. i love you in your sweatpants just as much as i love you in a ball gown.”

geralt pressed a kiss to his jaw.

“you.”

one to his temple.

“are.”

one to the tip of his nose.

“beautiful.”

jaskier’s lip only trembled harder as he curled into geralt’s chest.

“well?” he said wobbily, wiggling his left hand at geralt. “what’re you waiting on, then?”

Okay look, I just think... a Wild West AU for Geraskier would be pretty neat. Like, the Kaer Morhen Witchers and others are an outlaw gang and Jaskier's the heir of an infamous oil tycoon. One day the gang attempts to rob the stagecoach Jaskier's on and he's terrified in the beginning. But then he realizes it's an opportunity to get out of the stifling life he'd been living up until that point. Which, to be fair, is pretty naive and impulsive but they look like adventure to the young heir. Besides, the underhandedness and snobbery of high society never appealed to him. So he asked to be kidnapped.

And at first, the gang of Witchers think he's crazy. But Jaskier follows, and follows, and follows and charms them (wears them down) to the point they just accept his presence. He starts to bond with the outlaws and realizes that yes, they rob and they steal, they aren't necessarily *good*... But they had a code and they had standards. They didn't steal from those in need, didn't kill without cause, helped when help could be spared and saved those who needed saving. They showed more compassion in the months he'd been with them than he had in his entire life with the profligate elite.

The more time he spends with them, the more he gets to know them. But he spends a lot of his time with Geralt, hounding him about stories of his escapades and his life. He'd ask about anything and everything, and eventually he started writing the stories down. Those stories turned into songs sung around the camp's roaring fire. And then those songs turned into love. Jaskier would lay under the vast night sky, staring up at the thousands of stars and imagine what it would be like if those stories he sung included him. And it's such a pretty little thought he hold dear. Despite joining an outlaw gang, he's found a family. He's found a muse. And for the first time in his life, he's found true happiness.

Okay but why did Jaskier have two spoons in the prison in season two? Did the prison meal just... come with two spoons? Did he barter with a guard for a second one? Has he been there long enough to have multiple meals with multiple spoons??

I'm thinking he was there long enough to have multiple meals and just snatched the spoons like a crow with shiny objects

Wait, wait, wait, @everlastingfable! So in this headcanon, Jaskier grabbed his bag after stumbling down the mountain, and he didn’t realize he had both their spoons in it, his and the one he gifted to Geralt so that he would be able to eat like a man instead of an animal.

And Geralt then arrives at the bottom of the mountain, and Jaskier is gone. Not waiting for him. Not forgiving him like he’s always done. Gone. And Geralt climbs on Roach and makes his way to the next town. He tries not to notice the empty seat at his side when he finds a table in the back corner, the seat that should be filled with a shiny songbird who always seems to stand in the spotlight, no matter how dark the back corner table is. And Geralt fishes through his bag, and he realizes his spoon is missing.

And he immediately knows where it is. He remembers Jaskier washing up for both of them and sticking the spoons in his bag, because why split them up? Of course they’d eat together again in the morning, like they always do.

And the barmaid brings Geralt’s soup and puts it on the table with his ale, and Geralt stares down at it for a long time. His eyes feel hot. He knows Witchers can’t cry—he hasn’t cried since he was a toddler. But his eyes feel strange and hot, and he’s breathing a little faster than he should, and he can feel the ghost of that damned smooth, carefully polished spoon that Jaskier bought him in that little town in Kovir with the drowners. He can feel it as if he’s holding it in his hand, shiny songbird prattling next to him in the spotlight he carried with him everywhere.

And Geralt clenches his fists once then makes himself relax. Then he picks up the damned bowl of soup and lifts it to his mouth.

Okay I was going to just let this lie but then I thought of how--

When Geralt finally brings himself to seek Jaskier out, when he finds Jaskier again, he's playing a ditty on their spoons. He's singing an absurd song of defiance and Geralt doesn't know whether to laugh or to cry, because Jaskier seems so much more carefree than Geralt dared to hope but he also seems to have completely forgotten that it's Geralt's spoon, and that shouldn't hurt as much as it does, but it feels like a symbol of all the gifts and kindness Geralt lost when he threw away Jaskier's heart on the mountain. It's part of why he hugs Jaskier back without so much as a second of hesitation -- he missed the bard and he loved the bard more than he knew and right now, he needs the comfort almost as much as Jaskier does.

But he doesn't have time for feelings like that, not while the world seems to be falling apart around him, so he gets Jaskier out of the cell and sets off and tries his best to forget about the messy feelings the bard is so good at inducing in him. He does his best to apologize, of course, but he knows it isn't as good as it should be. He'll make up for it later, he hopes.

Then the whole mess with Voleth Meir happens and he forgets about almost everything that isn't keeping his daughter and the rest of his family alive, at least as well as he can. He comes out of the battle in a haze of grief and bewilderment. He talks to Ciri and they go to bed, and he manages to doze a little bit before dawn. He stumbles into the kitchen with everyone else, sits down on a bench they managed to salvage, takes a bowl of stew--

And realizes that he doesn't have a spoon. Whatever cutlery might have been lying around Kaer Morhen has been moved or destroyed.

He doesn't know how long he sits there, staring into the stew as though it might somehow solve his problems. He is just about to give up and go back to bed when, to his great surprise, he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He looks up. It's Jaskier, gazing down on him with a soft little lopsided smile.

"Here," says Jaskier. Geralt looks down.

Hesitantly, almost nervously, Jaskier is offering him his spoon.

"Don't you need it?" Geralt rasps. He's noticed, despite everything, that Jaskier doesn't have his lute. He does not want to deprive Jaskier of the only thing he has that resembles an instrument.

"You need it more," says Jaskier gently. He presses the spoon into Geralt's hand.

Geralt takes it. Jaskier sits down beside him. Wordlessly, he hands Jaskier a bowl of stew. Jaskier takes it, and his smile becomes a little bit more real.

"Thank you," whispers Geralt. Jaskier says nothing, but he shifts until their thighs are touching under the table.

And, when Geralt brings the spoon to his lips, the stew tastes almost like hope.

Oh Lord. More…

Jaskier sits next to Geralt with his bowl, and he begins to eat. Geralt is distracted by the feeling of Jaskier’s leg against his, by the shock of feeling something other than grief and pain and nauseating fear for the first time in so long. By the small, glorious flicker of hope. But eventually Geralt notices that Jaskier is eating slowly, much more than is usual for him.

He discreetly glances over. He starts to smile his little, private smile at the sight of Jaskier’s spoon, the twin to his own, back in Jaskier’s hand, safe at his side.

And then he sees Jaskier’s fingers.

Okay first of all, HEY. OWCH. Second:

Jaskier must have felt him tense, because he glances at Geralt in concern. He follows Geralt's gaze to his own, red, inflamed fingers. He grimaces.

"It's not as bad as it looks?" he offers weakly.

"Jaskier," says Geralt, helpless. Jaskier winces again.

"What happened?" asks Geralt, though a part of him fears he doesn't want to know the answer.

"What, you don't have an idea?" says Yennefer from behind him. Geralt almost jumps; he hadn't noticed her coming in. All his attention had been focused on Jaskier.

Then her words sink in, and he remembers her mentioning something about the fire mage. Cold dread fills him.

"Firefucker?" he asks softly. Yennefernods.

"He wanted information about you and Ciri," she says, and Geralt's breath catches in his throat.

Ignoring his distress, Yennefer peers down at Jaskier's hand. She hums.

"Come to my room later," she says to Jaskier. "I think I can do something about this."

"Thanks," says Jaskier weakly. Yennefer nods and leaves the two of them alone.

There is a moment of silence.

"I didn't tell him anything," says Jaskier. Geralt almost flinches.

"That's not what I'm worried about," he says. The words feel so inadequate, but they're the best he has.

He looks at Jaskier, hurting and uncertain, the spoon that matches Geralt's in his hand. He thinks of everything Jaskier has done for him over the years, songs and kind words and gentle touches and spoons. He thinks that he has never done anything to really return the favor.

He turns to face Jaskier. Gently, hesitantly, he puts a hand on his shoulder and pulls him into a hug.

Jaskier tenses for a moment, then melts into the hug like a puppet with its strings cut. Geralt holds him tight, breathing in the scent of him, and vows to make things better.

(@wren-of-the-woods, I can’t stop!)

After this, Geralt is determined to give Jaskier his music back.

It starts with more spoons. As they clean up from the battle with Voleth Meir, they find all their lost cutlery and stack it back in the kitchen. Once there’s enough for everyone to eat with, Geralt steals some. He picks out a few spoons that are odd—some are wood and some metal or bone. A couple were poorly made, so they have odd, uneven shapes. They aren’t ideal to eat with, but he bangs them together experimentally, and the mix of shapes and materials makes a variety of sounds. Geralt really has no idea whether they actually sound good, but Jaskier will know.

Vesemir walks in the kitchen as Geralt is jangling two metals spoons together, and he raises an eyebrow. Geralt frowns, embarrassed, and starts to turn away. “We have plenty,” Vesemir says quickly. “Might as well put those to good use. Give the lad something to do.” He nods firmly, and Geralt smiles his thanks before fleeing the kitchen.

He finds Jaskier the next morning before training. Jask is perched on a balcony, watching Lambert and Eskel warm up. “Shouldn’t you be down there?” Jaskier teases.

“I’m going,” Geralt rumbles. “Wanted to give you these first.” Jaskier frowns in confusion, but holds out his hands as Geralt shoves half a dozen mismatched spoons into them. “Thought you could use them.” He turns and retreats for the training yard before Jaskier can say anything.

After Jaskier starts entertaining them all by banging rhythms on every surface in the keep, Eskel helps. He spends a couple of evenings carving wood while Lambert and Geralt teach Ciri to play Gwent.

On the third day, he gives Geralt a little piping flute. “Learned how to make ‘em a couple of years ago. Give it to him.” Geralt hugs him in thanks.

When Geralt presses the flute into his now-healed hands, Jaskier throws himself forward and hugs Geralt. Geralt hugs him back, as hard as he dares. “I haven’t played a flute in years,” Jaskier says, but he lifts it to his mouth and plays a lovely, twittering melody as if he were born to it.

Returning Jaskier’s music becomes a sort of competition. What kind of instruments can they invent? Jaskier can play most anything, and if there’s something he doesn’t already know how to make music on, he can learn or invent it himself. Ciri finds a set of hollow bird bones in the fields that make utterly haunting melodies when Jask taps them together and sings about lost love.

Vesemir gives Jaskier a pair of old horseshoes and a long piece of metal that make an excellent tinkling drum set. The next day, Vesemir seals a handful of old nails inside a gourd for a rattle. Ciri shakes it as Jaskier drums and sings a marching song. “Used to make those for you boys when you were little,” he says quietly, watching Ciri shake her rattle in time to Jaskier’s stomping song, as Yennefer claps along.

Geralt frowns and thinks back, and he suddenly remembers the feel of a smooth, wooden shaker in his hand, himself as a little boy sitting on the stone floor of Kaer Morhen with the other boys and laughing as he rattled it as loud as he could.

One night, Yennefer tells them about a huge instrument she saw in Zerrekania once. It had small blocks of ivory attached to long metal ropes that clanged inside a big wooden frame the size of a table. They don’t believe her until she draws a sketch of the thing on a piece of parchment. It’s bizarre: Who ever heard of a piece of furniture as a musical instrument?

But Jaskier’s eyes are huge as he looks at the drawing, and they can all see his fingers twitching as he thinks about running them over the keys. “Hmm,” Vesemir says. “There’s plenty of wood up in the forest. Lambert could probably weave some metal ropes.” Lambert starts to object, but Vesemir says, “He’s got the finest touch with braiding and metalwork of all of us.” Lambert’s mouth hangs open in shock for a moment.

Eskel says, “I could carve the keys, but ivory is hard to come by.” He frowns.

Yennefer says, “I can get some in summer. I’ll portal to Zerrekania. There’s a couple of villages that owe me a favor. I’ll bring it back…assuming you’ll be back next winter?” She looks up at Geralt and Jaskier, a tiny smile on her face.

Geralt still doesn’t understand how Jaskier and Yennefer ended up friends, but he’s glad they did. She spent days slowly, carefully healing his burns. He helps her learn to teach Ciri new things, more kindly and gently than any of them were taught as children. Geralt knows Yen wouldn’t intentionally hurt Jaskier anymore, but Jask swallows hard, and he suddenly smells afraid.

“I…,” he starts. He looks at Geralt, and the hall goes quiet around them.

“Of course we will,” Geralt says, stepping close to Jaskier. He reaches out and touches Jaskier’s hand. “Unless you don’t want to?” He swallows hard, suddenly afraid himself. There’s been so much. Jaskier might say no. Geralt steels himself for that. But Jaskier’s eyes go soft.

“Of course I do,” he says quietly. “As long as you’ll have me.”

“Perfect,” says Geralt hoarsely, his throat tight. And as they look at each other, Geralt knows that this summer, he’s going to have just one contract to fulfill, no matter how many drowners or kikimoras or wraiths he takes care of. There’s only one job that’s going to matter. Making drums and rattles and even a piano (whatever that is) are all very well, but what he’s going to find is the most important thing of all: A lute.

(@thequeeninyellowlace ta-da! More!)

The moment they leave Kaer Morhen, of course, everything about that plan goes to shit.

It seems that Jaskier did more than write angry songs while he and Geralt were apart. Geralt only has to let Jaskier out of his sight for a day before the bard somehow manages to get kidnapped by soldiers, rescued by warrior elves, then kidnapped and rescued by some sort of supernatural being who gives him a slap in the face, an ancient story, and, because nothing in Geralt's life is ever simple, a magical elven lute. Geralt finds him a few days later with a slightly manic grin on his face and a tune about sevens and oppressors on his lips. He has very, very many questions, but they do not stop him from taking a moment to look at the beautiful instrument and sigh. So much for his grand plan.

He refuses to let this deter him, though. Jaskier has given him far more than spoons over the many years of their friendship. He has made Geralt's role as a witcher easier, safer, and more companionable. It is only fair that Geralt does the same. He keeps his eyes and ears open for any mention of Yennefer's mysterious Zerrekanian instrument. And, in the meantime, he does his best to provide for and protect his bard.

This becomes more complicated than expected almost immediately.

Knowing Jaskier, Geralt really should have expected something like this, but he still manages to be surprised when it turns out that Jaskier is now known as the Sandpiper, held as a hero among the elves, and is determined to help and inspire them through song now that he no longer has the resources to physically help them escape.

Geralt quickly has his hands full protecting the bard from vengeful human armies, as well as trying to keep Ciri safe. Ciri, unexpectedly, absolutely loves the whole thing -- she hears stories, helps people, and makes friends with a charisma that almost rivals Jaskier's. Geralt watches her with twin fondness and awe. He loves his daughter very, very much.

It's another thing Jaskier has given him -- this lighthearted, smiling version of Ciri. He knows how to bring out the joy in life and he has shown that to Ciri, these last few months. It only makes Geralt more determined to do something for him.

It is on one of Jaskier's missions that he finally finds something. They are in an elven safehouse, a friendly merchant's unused basement that has become something of a meeting place among nonhumans and their sympathizers in the area. Jaskier is performing a ditty to an enraptured audience of children. Ciri is singing along in the audience. To stop himself from becoming embarrassingly sappy about the whole affair, Geralt is looking at the collection of books that has somehow accumulated on a shelf in one corner.

He is just about to turn away when he sees the title -- A Guide to and History of the Pianoforte. Geralt picks up the bookand flips through it, eyes widening. It appears to be a whole volume of information about Yennefer' mysterious Zerrekanian instrument. He flips back to the beginning, hoping to find and memorize the important parts before they have to leave.

"I wouldn't have thought you the type to be interested in pianos," says a voice from behind him, and Geralt turns to see an older elf watching him with curiosity.

"It's for him," says Geralt, a little shy, nodding in Jaskier's direction.

"Ah," says the elf, her lips quirking in a knowing little smile. "I should have guessed. You're welcome to it, by the way."

"What?"

"The book. You're welcome to take it."

Geralt frowns. "I don't--"

The elf cuts him off. "Hush. I think you'll get far more out of it than most of the people who pass through here. Besides, the Sandpiper has done a lot for us. It's only fair that we return the favor."

Geralt's objection fades before he can think to finish it. He hums.

"I feel the same way," he says. The elf pats him on the back and turns back to Jaskier's performance with a smile.

When they leave the next day, Geralt has the book safely tucked away in his bags.

Eventually, they make it back to Kaer Morhen. The rest of the witchers arrive safely. Many of them, to Geralt's surprise and Ciri's glee, come with material that seems useful for building the piano.

Trying to build the instrument without Jaskier noticing is difficult and a little ridiculous. Coën once tells Jaskier that the coil of metal strings he is working with is for a strength potion. Lambert manages to hold a whole conversation with Jaskier with a handful of ivory hidden behind his back. The process is difficult, and Geralt's book proves to be invaluable. Most humans would be unable to build it without years of training, but through a combination of enhanced hearing, Yennefer's magic, and absurd determination, the witchers somehow manage it.

Finally, the instrument is complete. Ciri, a bright grin on her face, tells Jaskier that they have a surprise for him and starts dragging him in the direction of the piano.

"A surprise?" says Jaskier. "What surprise? Has Lil' Bleater started eating my laundry again? Geralt, if you're just going to show my a laundry basket full of goat fur, I'm going to--"

Then they turn the corner into the room where the piano stands, and Jaskier's words are cut off by a gasp. Geralt watches as awe spreads across his face and he stumbles towards the instrument as though in a trance.

Geralt is fully aware of its significance. It not only does it mean that Geralt and his family are willing to go to such lengths for Jaskier, it means that Jaskier is always welcome back. He cannot take the instrument with him, but wherevery he wanders, it will always be here, waiting for him.

It seems that Jaskier is equally aware of the message. He tears his gaze away from the piano to look at Geralt, his eyes wide and shining with tears. "Why?"

Geralt opens his mouth then closes it again, searching for words.

"You... give people spoons," he manages eventually. "You deserve to get some, too."

Jaskier blinks. "I'm afraid I'll need you to clarify that a little, dear heart."

Geralt huffs, thinks, and tries again. "You... do things for people. You help. You forgive. You saw that I needed a spoon and you gave it to me. Even after the dragon hunt and Firefucker, you gave the spoon back when I needed it. You do that for everyone. For people who no one else bothers to be kind to. You deserve to get some of that kindness back."

Suddenly, Geralt finds himself with an armful of bard. Jaskier clings to him tightly, burying his head in the crook of Geralt's neck. His scent is so full of joy that Geralt almost doesn't know what to do with it.

"Thank you," whispers Jaskier.

"You're welcome," Geralt whispers back.

He pulls his bard closer, tucks his face against his hair, and smiles.

The rest of the winter is filled with the sounds of Jaskier teaching himself a new instrument -- but, more importantly, with smiles, with laughter, with safety and with certainty.

Geralt has never been happier to have paid attention to a spoon.

Y’all, this is finally on Ao3! Thank you to @wren-of-the-woods for doing the work to get this posted!!

As opposed to being a Viscount, Jaskier is a prince. Before he was born, his mother was saved by an assassination attempt by a witcher who, in turn, claimed the law of surprise. Making Prince Juilan of Lettenhove a child surprise. As he already had lost his wife in childbirth, Jaskier's father did everything he could to ensure that any witch that dared to enter Lettenhove would die since he didn't want to lose the only son he had. Thus, as time passed, fewer and fewer Witchers dared to visit Lettenhove until, eventually, none dared to step foot there at any time.

When Jaskier was nine years old, he was sent away from his sheltered life in a castle to ensure his safety. Into a hidden tower to live. At first, it wasn't that bad since his father had hired a mage to enchant the tower so that there was always food and a wardrobe in the tower that would have whatever Jaskier desired in his heart. However, the wanderlust grows in Jaskier as time passes, and he becomes increasingly bored with the state of things. As a result, Jaskier's greatest desire was to escape, and he was given a portal right into Oxenfurt, where he studied to become a bard.

Taking Jaskier to the same place where he meets Geralt. Now, Geralt is still trying to figure out how to deal with Jaskier, as the prince turned-bard knows very little about the world outside his tower and has spent most of his life away from society.

Since Jaskier has been kept from his destiny for a long time, a small amount of Chaos has slowly grown within him, making him a ticking time bomb ready to explode the second he as a conduit moment.

As Jaskier's father discovered his son was missing, he began searching for the prince.

However, as Geralt gets closer to Jaskier, he wonders why his face and features have become so reminiscent of the woman he saved many years ago.

Modern with magic Au: There is a distinct separation between the world of humans and the world of monsters. Since most human beings are not aware of the world of monsters, the world of monsters remains a mystery to them. Geralt of Rivia is a member of an organization that is known as the Witcher. Besides hunting monsters, witchers are supposed to make sure regular humans don't learn about the monster world.

It used to be that Geralt and Jaskier used to date and were very deeply in love with each other. It was, however, not a happy ending as Geralt was afraid to tell Jaskier about the world of monsters, so they broke up. Jaskier's safety is a concern for Geralt since he fears that if he finds out about monsters, then he would be in danger. The decision was made by Jaskier to leave as he believed that Geralt was cheating on him with Yennefer.

On occasion, Geralt and Yennefer worked together on jobs, they even dated for a short period of time. However, they decide to remain friends. Yennefer helps Geralt's daughter Ciri with her magical abilities.

The heartbroken Geralt makes the difficult decision to let Jaskier go. Eventually, Geralt comes to the conclusion that Jaskier has a regular human life that would be jeopardized if they were to be together.

So a few years pass, and Geralt continues to watch Jaskier from a distance. Every time Jaskier realizes that he has come up with a new song, Geralt makes sure to be the first person in line to hear it, just so he can hear the voice once again.

However one day Yennefer comes with some shocking news. A changeling has been discovered who has yet to be able to fully gain control over their powers. Fae are powerful creatures which, in comparison to most magical beings, are kept even more hidden from the public eye. The main advantage of Changeling is their ability to be incredibly powerful since they have all the regular powers of Fae, but Changelings do not have the weakness of Fae. A Changeling's only has two weakness that of iron and if someone learns their true name, not their human name, but their true fae name. Consequently, the Changeling will be compelled to obey the commands that he has been given.

Records indicate that there has not been a Changeling in years. There have been rumours circulating, however, that a soothsayer has predicted a changeling will bring about a change in fate that will last forever.

Geralt is told by Yennefer that he must find the Changeling in order to train them to use the Fae power inside of them. The Changeling is also being pursued by an unknown force that plans to use its powers to accomplish some unknown goal.

The changeling is tracked down by Geralt by using a special device that he uses to trace its location in the city of Novigrad. The job of Gearlt is to locate the fae and then bring them back to Kear Morhen so that the changelings will be safe.

Geralt finds the Changeling after saving them from kidnapping. Only problem is the fact that the changeling in question is none other than Jaskier.

Now, Geralt tries his utmost to keep Jaskier safe and unaware of the world of monsters. However, it appears that Geralt had failed as the musician possesses uncontrollable power and is being hunted down. At the same time, Jaskier is grappling with the realization that the magic is real and he has a part in it.

In order to take Jaskier to safety, Geralt and Jaskier embark on a cross-country road trip for the first time since the breakup. A romance that once flourished starts to bloom again

Geraskier

So you know how Jaskier (Viscount Julian) left home and changed his name and since he’s always short on cash, one would assume he was cut off (or cut himself off) from the family fortune?

So what if when his parents finally pass away and and he comes into a substantial amount of money, it is right about the time Geralt is really starting to feel the wear and tear on his body and wonder whether he can be a witcher for much longer, and he’s feeling anxious and melancholic about it but hasn’t admitted that to anyone.

But then he gets an invitation from his dearest friend Jaskier to join him on the coast at a cottage for some rest and recovery.

And when he shows up and drops his bags, he is instantly in love with the place. It seems like something he would build himself. Its decorated with items from their many years of travels. Ciri’s first wooden sword is hung on the wall. There is swallow imagery reflecting her as well, in the paintings and etchings. There are buttercups interwoven with wolves.

When Jaskier takes his things, there are hooks and contraptions that are perfectly shaped to hold his swords and armor without scratching or damaging them. The table and chairs are his perfect height. There is even a fireplace styled just like the one at Kaer Morhen, evoking the memories of many nights drinking with Eskel, Lambert, Coën, and Vesemir.

Jaskier hugs him so tightly he coughs, but it warms his heart and he forgets about his melancholy. Then Jaskier leads him by the hand and takes him to the back garden and his brothers and friends and most thrillingly of all, his daughter, are all sitting around with ale and they shout and toast him.

After he is kissed by Ciri and squeezed in many strong arms, he takes Jaskier aside. By then it is dark and the candles and torches are twinkling illuminating the tables where all the war stories are being told with laughter and copious amounts of swearing.

“What is the occasion, Jaskier? What’s going on? When did you buy this place?”

In contrast to Jaskier, who is completely unaware of the fact that he is a changeling, Geralt quickly realizes the truth after the two of them meet. In the midst of their travels, Geralt cannot tell that Jaskier is not a normal human bard but acutely fae.

Fae magic is linked to their emotions, but until they have experienced an extremely powerful emotion, a Changeling cannot access its power. In order to protect Jaskier, Geralt decided to wait until he was absolutely sure Jaskier's magic wouldn't cause any unexpected damage. He did this until he was absolutely certain that Jaskier would react well to the news.

Only after the mountain. Jaskier experienced such a strong heartbreak that it was strong enough to unlock the magical ability that he possesses

As a result of his desire not to think about Jaskier's sad expression in his eye, Geralt tries not to think about the mountain as much as he can. In light of everything that happened with Ciri and finding Yennefer to help Ciri train her magic. It has somewhat slipped Geralt's mind that the former companion he used to have is a Changeling.

Until reports start appearing of a fae bard causing havoc in towns.

As soon as Geralt realizes this, he is in a state of shock. Jaskier has full access to his magic now, but he is terrified and his fear is causing the magic to grow stronger and stronger. Geralt, Ciri, Yennefer, and his brothers will try to track down Jaskier.

For the purpose of bringing the bard back to Kear Morhen where he can safely train his magic. It is even more important to act before an angry mob can kill Jaskier before it is too late.

Because Geralt could not afford to have the last words he says to Jaskier be words of hate rather than love

Selkie Jaskier AU

Selkie Jaskier who sees Witcher Medallions as the equivalent of a selkie skin. He gets so fuckin feral and protective of them. Geralt is pretty charmed and amused by this. (This idea sparked this whole au for me)

Geralt knows when Jaskier has gone too long without spending time in his skin because Jaskier always gets twitchy and grumpy. This leads to a lot of Geralt finding and dumping him into lakes and streams. Once he had to rescue Jaskier from someones garden pond because he had gone too long and had dumped himself into the pond in a instinct fueled haze. Thankfully no one had been around to witness this.

A side effect of being a Selkie is he gets touch starved quickly. No ones sure why this is a thing. It might be linked to their desire to group up in Pods. The first time Geralt and Jaskier cuddled outside of sleeping arrangements they'd been trekking through the woods for days. Geralt fending off a very touchy bard the whole time. Until Jaskier starting getting the shakes and had been on the verge of tears. Geralt felt a little guilty about it but in his defense he didnt know it was an actual problem.

Jaskier still forgets to explain Selkie customs to his Witcher. This causes a lot of misunderstandings. Especially when Jaskier begins trying to court his Witcher.

The first time Jaskier meets Lambert he ended up biting him. To be fair Jaskier hadn't registered Lambert as a Witcher. Lambert had found Roach at their campsite alone while Geralt and Jaskier were bathing. As a joke he was going to steal one of his brothers bags and make a little scavenger hunt back to where Lambert left his own horse. Unfortunately for him it was the bag Jaskier was hiding his Skin in (nowhere safer than with his Witcher). Double unfortunately Jaskier stumbled back into camp and only registered someone trying to steal the bag. Geralt showed up before Lambert could skewer Jaskier on instinct after the bard bit into his arm. (Lambert spent the following winter absolutely giving Geralt shit over being reverse "Selkie wifed" by a feral bard)

Jaskier meets Eskel after Jaskier finds the Witcher stumbling back through the woods from a contract half dead. Jaskier bustled him up to his inn room and patched him up. They traveled together for a few weeks before Jaskier left to go find Geralt. (Eskel spends that winter poking fun at Geralt about his Very Pretty Bard. Geralt tries very hard not to get riled up. It will only fuel his brothers desires to see him get flustered)

Vesemir meets Jaskier in the most embarrassing way. For Jaskier. Jaskier has once again spent too long out of his skin. And in an embarrassing haze of instincts had climbed into a fountain in the center of a city square one night. When Jaskier comes to there is a crowd of people standing around wondering how a seal got this far into the continent. Fortunately stories of Selkies weren't very known this far inland. Unfortunately the people think he's some kind of omen or curse. The towns people hire a passing Vesemir to rid them of the cursed creature. Vesemir had to carry him out of the city, scolding him the whole time.

Geralt has a habit of throwing Jaskier over his shoulder and carrying him away, whenever the latter is trying to start a fight on Geralt’s behalf.

After the fifth time it happens, Jaskier confronts the Witcher.

Jaskier: I'm a grown ass man, you can't tell me what to do and who not to fight! And stop picking me up, I really hate it!

Geralt: First of all, you're a child. Secondly, you're lying. I know you don't hate it because I can smell the arousal coming from you every time I do exactly that.

Jaskier:

Jaskier: Wait

Jaskier: So you knew I was turned on every time you picked me up... Yet you still insisted on doing so?

Geralt:

Jaskier: Where are you going? Geralt, answer the question

Lambert accidentally makes a wish with a powerful spirit while drunk. He wishes Geralt would just fucking Chill Out. The guy was a stressed and grumpy mess all winter worrying about his bard.

He promptly panics. Thinking "oh fuck Geralt told us about how his wish with the Bard went." He thinks he might have wished Geralt to be frozen or something. He sets out to go find Geralt to make sure he's fine.

Meanwhile Jaskier is dealing with a Geralt who's acting stoned af. Stoned Geralt is a cuddly Geralt. He wants to be snuggling Jaskier At All Times. Jaskier is trying to get them on the road to find a Mage to fix this. Geralt is actively hindering their progress. He doesn't want to ride Roach because he wants to drape himself over Jaskier, and Roach would get tired of carrying them both quickly. Hes constantly tucking Jaskier under his arms or into his chest. Just. Touching. All the time now. It's confusing and alarming because Geralt isnt usually so chill while in towns. He also keeps trying to let Roach free to do her Horse Things™ and be a Free Spirit™. Thankfully Roach just follows along behind them. Judging them.

There is clearly curse nonsense going on.

Lambert finds them eventually. He finds them camping out in the woods. Geralt curled around and draped over a grumpy looking bard.

They do manage to get the wish removed. Eventually.

Witcher warlord au.

Freshly new to the whole Warlord thing, Geralt is tricked into taking a consort via a clause in a treaty that no one had caught before he signed it. He can't get out of it. Not without starting a war with Kerak and Temeria. Probably Redania too because that's just how life enjoys shitting on him.

He's standing in the home of some Count. Pancraps or something. He wasn't listening over the absolute panicked yelling inside his own head. What the fuck is he meant to do with a noble lady?? Who the fuck are they going to force to marry him?? If it's a child he is going to simply burn this manor to the ground. Fuck any treaty. They aren't really prepared to go to war with three countries at once, but he knows no one would fight him on it if this Count tries marrying him to a child.

Yennefer is shooting him sympathetic looks as she skims over his thoughts. She feels guilty that she hadn't caught the trap in their treaty with Kerak. As it is, they're lucky no one knows about Ciri, his wonderful 5 year old who cried for hours when he was getting ready to leave, who the fuck knows what kind of fuckery they would be dealing with then.

His thoughts are interrupted by a loud crash and yelling. Moments later the door is bursting open and two guards march in, each with a hand on an arm of the man between them. The man is young. Maybe mid twenties. He's wearing bright blue clothing that brings out the color of his very pretty eyes. He's dirty from the road and has a lute strapped to his back.

He's also yelling. Demanding to be unhanded. To know who they think they are to abduct the Great Bard Jaskier. He demands to know why they think they can just stuff him through a portal and hand him off to a new spouse without so much as a by-your-leave. He spits out little ditties about the Count and the guards having small pricks and threatens to bite one of the guards. Again.

This is the most feral bard Geralt has ever seen. This also appears to be his future husband.

Julian Alfred Pankratz. As the Count introduces him. A challenging scowl directed at his son.

Jaskier the Bard. As Jaskier introduces himself. A haughty little tilt of his nose towards his father.

Its very clear the two do not like each other.

The bard takes a moment to give Geralt a once over. Then turns to his father and proclaims that the man should have told him he was getting married to the sexiest man on the continent. He wouldn't have protested... Too much... Well he wouldn't have bitten anyone at least.

Thoroughly scandalized and red in the face. The Count orders them all from his fucking Office. They'll be married by tomorrow night and then they can get the fuck out of his house.

Jaskier wastes no time looping an arm through Geralt's and demanding he tell him stories of his many heroic feats so they may be immortalized into song.

Baffled, and pointedly ignoring Yennefer and his brothers laughing, he lets Jaskier drag him away.

Yennefer points out later, once Jaskier has been dragged away to his own rooms, that offering Jaskier as a spouse is probably meant to be an insult. Since he was some unknown Viscount. Not to mention a Viscount that ran off to be a Bard of all things.

He thinks about the fact that Jaskier seemed to not fear him. He was nervous, yes, but not fearful. He also seemed to not mind the fact that Geralt wasn't very verbose. Prattling on enough for them both. Never mind the fact that he thought Geralt was "Actually very handsome. I could write odes to your biceps.".

Geralt can't help but feel this is the best outcome he could have hoped for.

HELLO I'M BACK ON MY AU BULLSHIT

Witcher!Jaskier might just be the most fucked up experiment in Witcher history. Those fucked-in-the-head mages decided they wanted to see what would happen if you took a mutated Cat Witcher kid and then mutate them again with the Viper methods. Somehow Jaskier (Julian) survived it so now he's double mutated, part Cat and part Viper. Arguably the two most fucked up of the schools.

Perhaps he's just the normal level of crazy, maybe double, or maybe in some cosmic joke or other the two crazies cancelled each other out.

His abilities and senses are either matched or are better than Geralt's. Maybe his hair is all white too or there are just a few strands of brown hair that clung on.

Jaskier is very much both a Cat and a Viper Witcher. He's gone through both of their training and trials. He's done some awful things for coin and he, as witchers do, hates himself for them.

He melted down his cat and viper medallions and with it made a Sabertooth Tiger headed medallion for himself.