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#the witcher 2 – @bard-llama on Tumblr
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Because magic

@bard-llama / bard-llama.tumblr.com

Hi! I'm Llama and I'm a queer, disabled fic writer with chronic pain. 18+ only, please!
Check out my main AO3 account or my side account with shippy atla content. You can always find my writing in the my fics tag. Snippets and such posted for WiP Wednesday can always be found here.
If you're curious how I keep track of so many WiPs (literally in the hundreds), check out my guide on how to use section headers in Google Docs!
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Random Future Scenes from (Im)Perfect Strangers/Don't Cry for Me, Temeria

I have a lot of random scenes for this fic universe that I have no idea where they fit in, so figured it might be fun to share them.

Series background: Witcher 2 AU where Iorveth and Roche actually met pre-canon and slept together. This managed to change a lot of how W2 went - and now they're secretly involved as they live in Vergen, helping Saskia try to build a Free Pontar Valley and also raising Anais and Boussy.

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Making a case for separate tags for Witcher games

I recently tried to tag a fic specifically with Wiedźmin 2: Zabójcy królów | The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings, and shortly after posting the fic, found out that the tag had been merged into Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game) as though the terms are identical. I found this a little frustrating, as that tag is the title of the first Witcher game, and I specifically wanted to tag the second. 

More than that I would very much like to be able to browse for fics specifically about TW2, which isn’t possible at the moment, because every tag associated specifically with The Witcher 2 – as well as a dozen or so associated with The Witcher 3 – have all been treated as having the same meaning as Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game).

By contrast the other games in CDPR’s Witcher continuity each have their own separate tags:

This allows users to browse fics about characters and events specific to those parts of the video game continuity – again, something that is frustratingly not possible for other CDPR Witcher games.

I understand that part of how AO3 decides whether tags should be merged or not depends on how many distinct authors, and on how many distinct fics, use tags as having distinct meanings from one another. So I’ve gone through and tagged my Witcher-game-related fics with these specific tags, wherever relevant:

  • Wiedźmin 2: Zabójcy królów | The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (Video Game)
  • Wiedźmin 3: Dziki Gon | The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (Video Game)

If you’d like to help make the case that these games have distinct characters and events, and that it would be useful to be able to distinguish between them in the same way that we can distinguish between other games in CDPR’s Witcher continuity, please consider doing the same with your own fics!

(I also understand that AO3 has limited resources for changing tag structures – but my understanding is that tags are supposed to reflect what fandoms want and use. So if enough of us indicate with our tagging choices that we want to be able to separate these games, they may listen.)

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Netflix 2, Games 7?

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Netflix: What is your favorite scene and why?

Hands down the banquet in Episode 4, specifically all the things going on from Pavetta and Duny's POV, Geralt and Mousesack's POV, and Calanthe and Eist's POV. I've probably watched that scene a good 50 times focusing on each person and I always discover something new to play with lmao. It's a very inspiring scene.

Games: What was your favorite quest or storyline?

Hmmm, that's a hard one. Well, okay, in Witcher 2, I really like the quest where you have to find an object of power for Philippa to help heal Saskia. Idk why, but I find killing harpies in W2 to be very relaxing lmao. And you kill a lotta harpies in that quest. Actually, it basically helps you finish the Harpy Contract, 'cause you get to go into the harpy lair and kill the harpy queen. But more importantly, you find the dreams the not-actually-harpies-but-like-their-evolution stole from people and crystalized. And it's fun hunting them down and watching them. Also, you find a dream from a peasant where Saskia is horny for sex and somehow my brain interpreted that as "oh, it's Saskia's dream! She wants a threesome!" Unfortunately, that is not canon, but it can be in our hearts.

I also really enjoy the prologue of Witcher 2 where you go to war against the La Valettes. Like, it's a picture of "medieval" fantasy warfare that is perfect for me, because details, but my brain can't visualize it, so the Witcher doing it for me is ideal lol.

For Witcher 3... I actually really like Reasons of State, but also, I looooove the quests where you just hang out with your bros. Like in Witcher 2, you have the intro quest to the area to go into the tavern and talk with your bros and they sit down and catch up and WHY COULDN'T WE HAVE HAD THAT BEFORE THE BATTLE OF KAER MORHEN!? Or at all!? Well, that's not fair, there are a few good hanging out scenes - the best, of course, being the Wolf Witchers playing Never Have I Ever and wearing dresses. But I also really like the one where you and Zoltan hang out and get his old "friend" soused so you can steal from him. I also just... really love Zoltan lol.

For Thronebreaker - okay, I literally only got to the start of Chapter 2, so like 😬 But the reason I'm stuck is because the perfect scene happened. Or didn't happen, rather. The story skipped straight from "leaving the capital and heading to Aedirn" to "look, we're in Aedirn now!" and that is SUCH a missed opportunity to me! Like, that would be the first few months of their ragtag bunch traveling together. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH POTENTIAL THAT HAS!?!?!? You get Gascon and Meve and Reynard slowly getting to know each other, but also getting on each others' nerves and working together and shit. And you also have the Strays and the soldiers settling into the "new normal" and like!!! idk, like 90% of my Thronebreaker fics are gonna be set during this time, because seriously!!! So much potential!

But like, for a real scene - Gascon freeing Meve for sure. And I'm not just saying that because I've built a whole longfic around fucking with that moment lol. For real, though, arriving in the capital was the moment I got Invested in this game. The political intrigue!! The betrayal! The unexpected help! The escape as fugitives! It's fucking beautiful and I love thinking about ideas that can play with it.

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bard-llama
Anonymous asked:

You know, Roche a hostage in Vergen, "tortured" by Iorveth (and maaaaaaybe Saskia) for information, given all the motivation to not spill a thing...

Oooooh, now this could be fun!! Like, Roche shows up in Vergen after/during the battle (and kills King Henselt, but they're down with that), and they know that Roche and the Blue Stripes were with Kaedwen's forces, at least before the battle. So they must assume that there is some treachery planned here. And on his side... okay, he wants to catch the kingslayer, yes. But also, he just lost his entire world. And revenge is all well and good, but it doesn't bring them back.

So I can see him getting arrested automatically by dwarves or squirrels who recognize him. But it's Iorveth who notices that something's not right. Roche is still angry at everything, but now it's directed inward, rather than used to lash out at prison guards and such. And looking at Roche, it is so clear to Iorveth that something is broken. But of course Roche can't just say what happened, so it becomes an interrogation. But Roche is a stubborn fucker, so Iorveth all "welp, okay, torture time. I have no mixed feelings about this."

Except then the moment comes to do it - and Saskia is aware of what's happening, but even though she disapproves of torture, she can acknowledge that Iorveth knows Roche better and she'll trust his judgement. (But like, for real, torture doesn't work. We have literal studies proving torture doesn't work). So anyway, Saskia allows Iorveth to do what he thinks best and Iorveth is all "okay, I can do this!"

Except when he actually starts, Roche is just... blank. The torture he's putting himself through internally is nothing compared to any beating Iorveth could manage. And Iorveth is totally not worried, but like... that's not right. He wants his Roche back, the Roche that screams and yells and chases him relentlessly. Not this quiet, dead inside Roche who looks at him with tired, defeated eyes and doesn't even care anymore.

So Iorveth has a moment of crisis and goes to Saskia (who manages to refrain from telling him 'I told you so' re: torture). And she suggests that if Roche is consumed by his own pain, then what he needs is some gentleness and kindness. And Iorveth is all ???? can I even do that anymore??? but he doesn't have any better ideas. So he has Roche brought to him from his cell, and instead of beating him or hurting him, Iorveth gently cleans him? Like, soft touches and gentle washing with a sponge bath, and then maybe even a hot tub to soak in after and some fresh clothes? And Roche is... only sorta there at first. But the gentleness works, and he probably comes back to himself sometime between Iorveth washing him and Iorveth putting him in a tub to soak and he's just ???? wtf???? But it's... really nice, actually, and it's fucking weird, but Roche hasn't had any control over his life since the moment Dethmold ordered his men murdered, so why not just go along with the weirdness?

And I think eventually this leads to them like... releasing Roche 'on probation', which basically just means that Iorveth is still watching over him, but he is free to wander around Vergen and such. And over time, Iorveth actually sees signs of his Roche again. And he's sadder and more burdened now, but he's no longer blank and dead and that's something.

Iorveth knows his Roche is really back when he comes 'home' to wherever they're living (with Saskia? idk) and is ranting and raving about how annoying some of the peasants and shit in Saskia's council are and why they're making this shit difficult. And Roche listens and then actually suggests a solution. And it's... it's not a nice solution, but it is an effective one. And Iorveth grins and maybe does something stupid like kiss his Roche as a welcome back, but it's just a peck and then he runs out the door to go take care of the thing and doesn't even realize exactly what he did until later, when he turns bright fucking red in the middle of enacting the solution.

Fortunately, Roche is suprised, but not offended. He's a little bit still in the 'I have no control over my life, so I will just go with the flow' mindset, but I think maybe for the first time in a while, he starts thinking about how he could do things to change that. Like, he could just decide to kiss Iorveth back, and that would be taking control of his life and circumstances a little. But also, that's fucking scary, so maybe it takes him a while to actually do. So like, they don't really talk about the kiss, and Iorveth is just relieved it didn't ruin shit.

But eventually, maybe while they soak together in a hot bath? Roche decides he's ready. Maybe it's something Iorveth says or does or maybe it's just the way Iorveth looks in that moment, and Roche thinks about all that Iorveth has done for him and all the kindness he's been shown even when it wasn't necessarily warranted. And he thinks about how hard that first offering of kindess must have been. But Iorveth did it, and kept doing it, and now Roche feels less like a cloud is hanging over him and... well. It's only right he be courageous and do something hard in return, right?

So he kisses Iorveth and, miraculously, Iorveth kisses him back! And it might take them a while to actually talk about this, 'cause they're both idiots, but in the meantime, they just kind of enjoy that their life can now include kisses, and that's kinda nice.

Wow, this has gotten long, hasn't it? But I feel like it could go two ways:

1. Saskia beats some sense into them and tells them to fucking talk to each other.

2. One of them gets sexually/romantically frustrated enough to confront and/or jump the other?

Damn okay, I wanna write this now. Maybe it's a bit of both? Like, Iorveth is pining at Saskia and she's just like, "hey, dumbass, try using your words," so he goes back home/goes to Roche. But Roche is also really frustrated, so he maybe jumps Iorveth before Iorveth can say much? Which leads to them half-talking, half-fucking, but afterwards, they definitely talk properly.

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The next chapter of this has been posted!!

Surefire Harm

In the aftermath of the Battle of Vergen, Iorveth and Saskia are shocked to discover both the body of a dead king and the surrender of an old enemy.
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heygraylocks

yeah it’s that one princess mononoke scene yes it is

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bard-llama

I hope you don’t mind me reposting your tags

But the idea of it being Roche who finds him in the solar sent my mind spiraling with ideas where Roche finds Geralt alone and even though he has Geralt pinned like above when the guards finally arrive, he has no actual witnesses to say he wasn’t part of the assassination, so the military brass decide to blame him (Roche and the brass do not get along). 

This leads to Triss somehow helping Geralt and Roche escape from the La Valette Dungeons and they’re able to sail the Percival, because the Stripes are loyal to Roche first and foremost (and also know that the Boss would never kill Foltest. Unless it was le petit mort). So Geralt tells Roche about the Scoia’tael he saw during the battle that were wearing Blue Stripes masks (even tho... they aren’t? They’re wearing like trophy badges on their armor, so idk why Geralt calls them masks). Roche recognizes them as Iorveth’s unit, so they sail for Flotsam. Except like, they’re wanted, so they can’t exactly go into the town. But all they need to do is find a way to get at Iorveth.

(gonna put the rest under a cut to save your dash)

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Anonymous asked:

I was thinking "what if Witcher 2 was an inaccurate narative of the events by some sage" and now I wander how would various scenes be retold by various characters (Kagemusa style). What if the polish version of the scene were Geralt ask Saskia about Iorveth was Geralt's perspective, the english one was Yarpen's narrative, Saskia remembers it entirely differently and Iorverh narrates a very passionate declaration of love from Saskia, to his children

I love it! We are all our own unreliable narrators, after all.

Also, I love the implication that Yarpen retells the story of Iorveth in the council meeting and specifically notes how Iorveth stared at her tits. (literally something he says in W2 😂)

--

Also I just gotta say that if you love that style of story, you should 100% watch Leverage's The Rashamon Job. It is the story of a theft from 5 different perspectives and it's really fun!

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bard-llama

Introduction to Iorveth/Roche for anyone who doesn’t want to watch/play the Witcher 2

(but also seriously, if you play PC, give it a chance. It’s pretty cool. If you’re interested in a playthrough, I recommended a few here.)

So, we all love Enemies to Lovers, right? The forbidden romance, the begrudging respect, the developing trust, the “oh no why do I love them” - it’s good shit. Iorveth/Roche is literally the epitome of that and it’s so much fun.

What you need to know:

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Anonymous asked:

Witcher 2 is 10 years old as of May 17th! 10 years since we've seen Iorveth! (cries)

OMG!!! Happy birthday to my favorite game ever!! I was gonna make a terrible edit of Iorveth with a party hat, but I don’t feel like getting out my computer. But just imagine it’s here.

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reblogged

Ok I have to scream now, pillow tits is a fucking oc??!?! I've never actually played tw2, just tw3, but I've read a ton of tw2 fanfiction somehow, and I just assumed he was canon!!!! I just accepted it! I feel like my entire life is a lie, what else dont I know? But also really cool oc I like him a lot

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Ahahaha, thank you! yes he's sort of an OC? Although all the stripes in @bard-llama 's fics are based on the blue stripes in the game so teeechnically they're canon? They just.. got repurposed.. .. Pillow Tits was supposed to be Igo I think!

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bard-llama

Omg I’m honored to have helped create/write a character that you thought was canon! That’s awesome!

Yeah, PT’s canon name is Igo. He got his new nome de plume in this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25565440

Oh, I should probably add: we come up with a lot of these headcanons in my rare pair discord, which is open to anyone 18+! You’re welcome to join us!

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reblogged

Ok I have to scream now, pillow tits is a fucking oc??!?! I've never actually played tw2, just tw3, but I've read a ton of tw2 fanfiction somehow, and I just assumed he was canon!!!! I just accepted it! I feel like my entire life is a lie, what else dont I know? But also really cool oc I like him a lot

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Ahahaha, thank you! yes he's sort of an OC? Although all the stripes in @bard-llama 's fics are based on the blue stripes in the game so teeechnically they're canon? They just.. got repurposed.. .. Pillow Tits was supposed to be Igo I think!

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bard-llama

Omg I’m honored to have helped create/write a character that you thought was canon! That’s awesome!

Yeah, PT’s canon name is Igo. He got his new nome de plume in this fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25565440

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Drabble: Geralt/Ele’yas

Geralt the Witcher was unlike any other Ele’yas had ever seen. His piercing yellow eyes and bleach white hair only added to the overall attraction that Geralt exuded. How dh’oine could think him ugly, Ele’yas would never understand.
So when he had the chance to talk with Geralt? He flirted. Hard.
“Do well and I may give you something more than coin,” Ele’yas purred, closing the deal with the Witcher. 
“All right,” Geralt agreed, apparently missing the innuendo Ele’yas had put into that.
Well, he’d be seeing Geralt again when the contract was complete. Maybe he would try again then.
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witcher-ot3

Every Kiss Begins With Kayran

Fic Summary:

Every once in a while, there was a local brave enough to seek out the Kayran for a pleasant distraction. The Kayran was delighted to oblige. And sometimes, sometimes there were people who wanted a more regular experience. People like Iorveth, who had scheduled monthly fuck dates to work off the stresses of command.
Neither of them expected to get discovered during one such session.
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