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#mmmm – @bam-monsterhospital on Tumblr
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─── Asylum ───

@bam-monsterhospital / bam-monsterhospital.tumblr.com

alyson (they/she)
- art blog link - pansexual, aromantic, nonbinary-woman. intersectional feminist. existentialist. human. - a tag for head-thoughts - my sister
Reblogs usually go straight into my queue only to emerge days/weeks/months later because I have super adhd and holding memories is difficult... like-spamming is step one of this queueing process.
(my current hyperfixations do not include re-coding this blog, so ugly it shall remain...)
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tbh im not v fond of the whole “we brought the original 5 x men to the present to make scott summers feel bad for killing xavier while ignoring the fact he was being possessed by a cosmic entity when it happened and also failing to bring up this information with the o5 thus leading them to conclude that the older scott summers is evil and a heartless murderer” thing in anxm

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If you genuinely enjoy being alone, do you ever wonder if it is an inherent part of your character or if it stems from feeling inescapably lonely in the first place until you taught yourself to enjoy the peace and happiness one can find in solitude? what if the reason you now prefer & choose solitude at every turn is because you were a very lonely child, or teenager, not by your own choice, and that’s how you learnt to thrive and grow, so you no longer know if you can do that around people? There might also be an element of personal pride, an unconscious “you can’t fire me I quit” point when your brain decided to switch your feelings about solitude from distress to relief. I often find myself defending my love of being alone, to people who worry that I can’t possibly be happy to live in an isolated house in the woods; I insist that I do! I really do specifically enjoy the isolated factor and chose to live here because of it, but then I wonder how to differentiate an ingrained love of solitude from an acquired ability to thrive off unchosen loneliness, to learn from it and be nourished by it; to what extent it might be a form of contentment built on a bedrock of resignation.

don’t… do this

Speaking from experience: It is definitely a form of contentment built on a bedrock of resignation.

I used to like being alone. Then I got friends who actually cared about me. Now I fucking hate it.

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Y’all I just learned that unusually high sugar and carb cravings are a symptom of dopamine deficiency

If you’re adhd and experience a deep and all-encompassing urge to eat cake at least five times a day boy do I have news for you

Oh yeah, this is a hell of a thing. Years before my diagnosis I used to snack hardcore on chocolates and particularly candy whenever I was writing and insisted it ‘helped me think’. Turns out that yup, that was my ADHD brain demanding sugar for the dopamine machine to help me pay attention.

(These days I just keep a bottle of high-glucose sports drink handy and slowly sip my way through it when I need to focus instead of slamming back whole packets of Nerds.)

soistalune

Can confirm via lived experience. I’m known for my sweet tooth and consuming a LOT of sugar daily, which never seemed to affect my ‘energy’ levels the way people say kids get hyperactive on sugar. It in fact simply helped me be steadier. 

Since I started taking ADHD medication, my cravings for sweet snacks have gotten down to almost zero, except if I need to make a specifically mentally challenging task. Wish I knew this before I only sought diagnosis past 30 years old…

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mothmammoth
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lena-luthor

they really gave us a female lead in a star wars movie & made her kind and good and angry and powerful and complex & then spent the next 2 movies revolving almost her entire storyline around a white male war criminal who abused her, abused her friends, abused her family. all the while validating all the people who romanticized gaslighting and torture. for fan service lmao 

they also gave us a strong black male lead who was kind and rebelled against his entire way of life when he saw the atrocities he was expected to take part in. He risked his life to save others and was shown to love and care deeply for his friends and willing to sacrifice himself to save him. Then the next two movies infantilize him to be this weak self preserving side character with literally no agency beyond yelling other character’s names.

They also gave us a Latino sci-fi hero who was an ace fighter pilot with a heart of gold and a wealth of courage who showed an incredible amount of support and kindness and trust towards a man who he had just met. Then the next two movies relegated him to being a chronic fuck-up and then ret-conned his ace pilot backstory in service of a racist drug dealer backstory to make him more like Han Solo

So I’ve only seen TFA and I think I’m gonna keep it that way

Imagine what we could have had if the movies had kept that original projection…

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