I feel like the first class you played in DND tells a lot about you

Reblog and put in the tags what your first class was

help i accidentally created a cleric with a -1 to religion checks how the fuck did i even do that

“hey i just realized, we’ve been on this trip for weeks and i’ve never really seen you praying” “eh, yeah, i mostly only do that sort of stuff at greengrass and midsummer” “…. sharindlar literally gives you magical powers. you have a magical tattoo.” “yeah she’s cool, she knows i’m busy”

religion checks are more about knowledge regarding deities than devotion

“don’t worry, guys, sharindlar will smite the shit outta anyone we need smote, that’s what she’s all about!”

“… isn’t she an avatar of mercy and life?”

“she’s an avatar of shut the hell up”

Character with skill sets that don’t match their class are my favorite thing

When I first started playing Pathfinder I thought “craft” meant like “watercraft” and I gave a ton of it to my Barbarian so I wouldn’t be useless running with the two pirates in our group.

Mid game my DM was like “No… Like… Arts and crafts.”

And I was like “Fuck it he knits, is there any yarn on the ship?”

DM: *Rolls dice* … *Looks up* This shipment is nothing but yarn.

Me: I’m going to knit a sweater.

DM: What’s your craft score again? *Looks at page*………………. Don’t even roll…

DM: So you all pull into port wearing sweaters beautifully knitted by our goddamned Barbarian.

Ragtag group of scoundrels & assassins: Yay!

i generally don’t reblog this post much because if i did that for every example someone reblogged this with i’d spam everyone’s feed, but i love this

tbh, arts & crafts skills would be useful for things like making nets and all the rope-related sailing skills. A lot of those complicated sailors knots use the same sort of thinking as knitting does.

Yes, but SWEATERS. 

Goliath cleric: If you admit I’m right I’ll heal you, if you don’t I’ll punch you again

Human fighter: but-

Goliath cleric: I punch him

-Me, the cleric, to one of our rangers, after I had downed half a flask of sacramental wine I stole from a destroyed ship temple dedicated to a chaotic evil water goddess. (via yourplayersaidwhat)

griffin: ok you can’t cast that because it’s above your level, takes three hours, and actually isn’t even your class

merle:

can we take a moment to just think about how incredibly scary magical healing is in-context?

You get your insides ripped open but your friend waves his hands and your flesh just pulls back together, agony and evisceration pulling back to a ‘kinda hurts’ level of pain and you’re physically whole, with the 100% expectation that you’ll get back up and keep fighting whatever it was that struck you down the first time.

You break your arm after falling somewhere and after you’re healed instead of looking for ‘another way around’ everybody just looks at you and goes “okay try again”.

You’ve been fighting for hours, you’re hungry, thirsty, bleeding, crying from exhaustion, and a hand-wave happens and only two of those things go away. you’re still hungry, you’re still weak from thirst, but the handwave means you have ‘no excuse’ to stop.

You act out aggressively maybe punch a wall or gnash your teeth or hit your head on something and it’s hand-waved because it’s ‘such a small injury you probably can’t even feel it anymore’ but the point was that you felt it at all?

Your pain literally means nothing because as long as you’re not bleeding you’re not injured, right? Here drink this potion and who cares about the emotional exhaustion of that butchered village, why are you so reserved in camp don’t you think it’s fun retelling that time you fell through a burning building and with a hand-wave you got back up again and ran out with those two kids and their dog? 

Older warriors who get a shiver around magic-users not because of the whole ‘fireball’ thing but the ‘I don’t know what a normal pain tolerance is anymore’ effect of too much healing. Permanent paralysis and loss of sensation in limbs is pretty much a given in the later years of any fighter’s life. Did I have a stroke or did the mage just heal too hard and now this side of my face doesn’t work? No i’m not dead from the dragon’s claws but I can’t even bend my torso anymore because of how the scar tissue grew out of me like a vine.

Magical healing is great and keeps casualties down.

But man.

That stuff is scary.

I think one of my favorite things about Jester is how completely nonchalant she is in her interactions with her deity, the Traveler (who, Matt’s confirmed, isn’t the canonical D&D deity by the same name). Like, shit’s kicking off with zombies in the middle of a circus and what she yells is, word-for-word, “DUDE ARE YOU HERE BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE THE COOLEST SHIT WE’VE EVER SEEN.” She gets a sense of approval from meticulously putting all the books in a bookstore into complete disarray. She draws him sketches about her day, mostly consisting of things she thinks were particularly entertaining or cartoonish versions of actual scary stuff. He messes with her by making her see Beau’s injury as worse than it is and her response is just to laugh and go, “Motherfucker, he’s such a dick!”  And she just seems to totally expect everyone else to be on the same wavelength about it, like when she warns Nott not to steal her holy symbol or “he’ll get mad”, and everyone goes “…he?” and she goes, matter-of-factly, “Yeah!”

It’s a really weird and incredibly entertaining cleric-deity relationship! I am so excited to see where it goes!

“No matter how bad things are, no matter how crummy, no matter how dark…”

Hint: It totally does

Cleric: Does death fix Geas? Bc I have Revivify but not Greater Restoration prepared today.

Wizard: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

i can’t stop laughing at Ashley’s face at the pressure of possibly having to save everyone’s asses from the giant fucking ancient dragon

ALSO look who I redesigned! They are currently going by Snacks, instead of Memphis like before–I think they change names periodically to avoid detection. Made em level 1 for a new Pathfinder campaign. The game they originally premiered in was uh. Disappointing. So I want to play this lil goof in a better scenario.

tiny filth gremlin, ready to horrify a whole new world…brings a tear to me eye

Cleric: i cast healing word Dm: what word? Cleric: (leans in nice and slow) bitch

tfw you’re suddenly the party healer

Everyones favorite cleric Pike