Gorgeous edit! This is just a snippet of their parallels/links. I can't handle it. It will never ever be okay if they aren't endgame. I want at least 1 whole episode of them openly acknowledging their feelings, basking in the freedom of the truth, and mutual affection. However, I think I'd settle for 3 minutes before the closing credits just to know WE ARE NOT CRAZY!!!

And while I'm at it I really think that the people saying, "Sydney deserves better than Carmy" are missing the point.

What I'm seeing in The Bear is a very purposeful effort on Storer's part to say something about the nature of love. He's not just arbitrarily making his male lead and female lead have a romance, just cause.

Sydney applied to work at The Beef because Carmy was there. Carmy was her idol. She wanted to work under him and learn from him. She had an idealized version of him in her head, which she learns in season 1 is not an accurate representation of who Carmy is. She had to take him down from the pedestal in her mind.

Carmy thought Claire was his dream girl. In reality, the main reason Claire can be a dream girl is because she's someone he can project perfection onto. She's endlessly patient and understanding. Carmy thinks she's "peace" because they never had any real problems, and part of the reason they never had real problems was because Claire never had her own needs.

He doesn't see her as a real human being. Even if things hadn't ended the way they did, one day Claire would have been a real person. She would have been imperfect. They would have had a fight. She would have expected him to give her something in return. Their relationship wouldn't have lasted, because at some point she would have no longer been a fantasy, a dream, "peace."

Meanwhile, Sydney and Carmy's relationship develops. Carmy is now real to Sydney, and no longer the idealized chef in her mind. She is seeing him as a whole person. Sydney was always a whole person to Carmy, and he is seeing her for who she is. Someone with flaws, someone who will have needs, and someone who will be imperfect. Their relationship is being founded on seeing each other for who they really are. Not someone who is ideal, but someone who is real.

Then season 3 begins, and Sydney is seeing a side of Carmy that she's glanced at before, but she is seeing it for much longer now. Carmy is a traumatized person, who is behaving the way traumatized people sometimes do, the way anybody with mental illness sometimes does. He is being inconsiderate, disrespectful, and oblivious to Syd in ways she wasn't subjected to in season 2, and she is being forced to ask herself, is this what I want? She is learning this is what being with Carmy might mean.

I believe that at some point Carmy is going to have to demonstrate to her that he's capable of growth. He's going to have to apologize to her, and prove to her that he can make an effort to avoid the same toxic behaviors again.

All of this ends up saying something about this relationship.

These are two people who had ideals they thought they wanted most, and instead, are going to choose someone they know is imperfect. Assuming Sydney chooses to be with Carmy, she does so knowing that he is a traumatized person, and she is going to have to afford him patience and understanding. Assuming Carmy chooses to be with Sydney, he does so knowing that he can't endlessly subject Sydney to toxic behaviors resulting from his trauma, and that if he is going to be with her, he is going to need to take into consideration her needs too, her flaws too, and what she deserves too. They are going to need to understand each other and nurture their relationship together if they want it to work.

And that is the point. The point is that these two were not good for each other. The point is that these two wanted an idea, not a real person. The point is that they are going to see each other's flaws and choose each other anyway. The point is that they are going to give what the other needs in order to be together.

And that's the point! And it's beautiful! It's beautiful that Storer didn't decide to just arbitrarily make two characters get together! It's beautiful that he decided to say something about the nature of love and relationships with Sydney and Carmy! Appreciate it!

carmy changing the menu every single day to get syd that fuckin star

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I saw a post like this when I was 24 and it got me to go back to school and now im one year away from my doctorate :3

mikey berzatto really just had an innate urge to believe in the people around him and their ability to do great things

THE BEAR | 3.02 "Next"

thinking about the specific moments where the berzatto family falls in love with sydney (because of course they do, everyone does).

for richie, it takes the end of the beef and right up till the opening of the bear to happen. he is full of contempt and grief when he meets her and all he knows is that when he looks at her face he is afraid. he doesn’t like that feeling. richie is not a man who finds himself fearful a lot, but she is everything he is not and nothing that he is and he hates himself for it. if she is what it means to be passionate, then what is he? is he nothing but an empty shell of mikey, stuck on earth to shake his fist at passing clouds, because how dare they move and continue on like mikey was nothing to them, as if he wasn’t the very point that the earth revolved around? everyone is leaving him behind, and she is proudly leading the pack. it’s not right. but then— he gets it. he talks to garrett and jess and chef terry and he sees sydney in every corner of that restaurant. the fear slowly is replaced with respect as the week goes on and he realizes that just because she’s good doesn’t mean she’s out to get him. that’s the berzatto upbringing in him doing the talking, but it doesn’t have to, because shes a berzatto now, maybe not officially (not yet, but mark his words, she will be) but she is, and that’s not how she does things. so, he lets her lead them into the future to something good and different and better.

for sugar, it’s instant. she was born to a mother who is triggered by her very existence, and it has hurt her all her life. she is full of love and the one person she wants to give it to the most doesn’t want any part of it. she was born to give but is surrounded by those who are afraid to even take it, to reach out their hand and meet her in the middle. and if they cant take then they themselves have nothing to give, so she gets used to being the one who has to force feed her love down their throats, because if no one does, if no one shows them that they are worthy of good things, then they will crumble (“if i just talked to him more—” “no, nat—” “if i had just—” “it’s not your fault, honey. it’s never been.”). but when she meets sydney, it’s like looking into a mirror. she sees her bright eyes and soft smiles and careful but strong hands and instantly recognizes her for what she is: a giver. and sugars heart swells with even more love than she thought possible, because finally, she’s not alone— there is someone else there to slowly, albeit subconsciously, take care of her crumbling family, to show them that despite what their mother may have taught them, its okay to not be okay (she tries her best not to cry when syd asks her if shes okay, but she does. and syd doesnt grab her face or yell at her or call her stupid. she makes her a meal. and sugar cries some more).

for cicero, the love isn’t instant, and it’s not even entirely love. she is strong and she is assertive, but that also makes her naive and a very expensive risk. she makes him curious for what’s to come, intrigued by the way she doesn’t back down from carmy whose voice so often mimics the berzattos that came before him (“you’re better than this, kid.” “i don’t know what i am.” “whatever it is, it’s not this.”). she's self assured and knows her place in the establishment and is unafraid to let people know it. it’s a refreshing change of pace from mikey, who often resorted to intimidation to get his way, or carmy, who’s anxiety envelopes him and distracts him from what’s right there in front of him. but she is not them. she is focused and on track and is willing to put in the work to get what she wants. he doesn’t visit the bear often, only drops by once in a while to deliver bad news or to fulfill a favour or to just enjoy some good food, but when he does, she is always there, dedicated to ensuring that carmy and michaels, and now, her dream stays alive. she is good for his family, and he trusts her to keep the berzatto spirit alive.

for michelle, it’s quite simple. she always looked out for carmy, their little bear, so when she meets her it’s a family thanksgiving party at the bear and syd stumbles out of the kitchen, obviously frazzled and a little sweaty (“carmy, im not ready, i didn’t even change yet and the turk—” “don’t worry, tina will take care of it, you look great, they’ll love you, they just really wanted to meet you—”), but she’s smiling. she’s a little awkward when she introduces herself, and michelle finds herself endeared by her nervous ramble (“it’s, uh, really nice to meet you guys. sorry, i didn’t know that i was going to be pulled out of the kitchen so soon. uh, im sydney. yeah, i guess carmy already told you guys, huh? um. im sorry, how are you related to the family again? i mean, i dont want to offend but it’s just. uh. well, you guys are just very... normal?”) and she’ll laugh and look at stanley and the two of them will think to themselves, good job carmy, she’s a good one, before telling syd something dumb and nonsensical about a genetic mutation and richie interrupts to tell michelle it’s not a genetic mutation it’s called being boring and syd will laugh and michelle will too, truly happy that their little bear found someone normal, a breath of fresh air within the smoke of their family.

for donna, it’s weird. it’s tense. they don’t meet for a long time. they don’t meet at the bear when it first opens and not at the bear even when it has found it’s footing, but by chance. they are somewhere mundane (a grocery store, a park, or maybe just the street) and there is no other family member around when syd meets the berzatto matriarch. she only knows what donna looks like from photos at sugars house because carmys apartment is devoid of any actual sentiment (although that has begun to change since she made him get an actual dresser and he dedicated one of the drawers to her stuff). she calls out to her by her name, and donna turns around startled. she doesn’t recognize syd, of course, who introduces herself and informs her of who she is to the family. when donna smiles it’s not a real one, and syd knows this, but it doesn’t deter her. she tells donna that her kids love her (“even after everything, nat?” “she’s our mother. its all that we can do.”) and that her kids are great (“carmy, you are not broken.” “im a little broken.” “no, listen to me, the fact that you are still here, means something. its something.”) and that there will always be a table for her at the bear (“chef, someones calling in for a reso for 1 but we’re all full up… except for—“ “yo, dont finish that sentence. table 7 for ms. berzatto is an indefinite booking. is that understood?” “yes, chef”). donnas smile fades and her chest fills with anger but just as she’s about to explode in typical berzatto fashion syd interrupts her. she has faced the bear many a time before and has handled herself with grace and dignity everytime, so this is no different. she smiles brightly and thanks donna for listening to her and hopes she considers coming in, because she’d really like to cook for her. she looks like she needs a good meal. she deserves one. she turns and walks away. donnas stomach growls. that night, table 7 is occupied for the first time since the bear opened its doors.

and carmy? well, there isn’t an exact moment. its a culmination of awkward partnership (“i don’t want to be shitty.” “okay, then dont be.”) and flawless teamwork (“the menu needs—” “already on it, chef.”) and nights unwinding at the bar down the street (“of course you drink an old fashioned.” “what’s that supposed to mean?” “nothing, it’s just very… tortured-chef-from-the-slums-of-chicago of you”) and spontaneous phone calls just to hear the others voice (“why are you whispering?” “i… don’t know. my dads home. its a habit.” “you’re 27.” “and you’re white, you wouldn’t get it.”) till they’re just inseparable (“cousin, wheres carmy?” “with syd, duh.” “why'd i even ask?”). and then, sydney and carmen become something else. something tender and sweet and terrifying and beautiful all mixed together into… something. there’s no word for what they have. but it feels so right; to the guests who taste their food and recognize that the hands who put it together are full of love and care; to the staff at the bear who see the unspoken communication, the lingering touches, and their soft eyes that seem to always be on the other; to the berzatto family who notice that carmy looks a little brighter, and shakes a little less. yes, its love, but its so much more. it’s syd and carmy. it always has been, and always will be.

(“can i ask you something? something corny and lame and gross?” “always.” “when did you, like, know?” “know what?” “like, when did you know that you loved me? like, not as a chef or a friend, but as... y'know.” “that’s very middle school of you to ask.” “shut up, i did warn you.” “…” “so?” “its, uh, i don’t, i don’t know.” “well, that’s rude.” “no, i mean, i can’t say its one moment because... it was all of them. together. like, one moment you’re staging and then everything happened and, and, keeps happening but the next thing i knew you were there and you always were there and i just knew that i never wanted you to not be there.” “that’s…. really, really, disgusting, and frankly, a little unprofessional.” “oh, fuck off.” “no, like, i knew you were obsessed with me, but wow, that is a whole new other level.” “fuck you, get off of me, don’t touch me.” “no no no, please—” “i let you into my family—” “let me?” “into my restaurant—” “i think you mean OUR restaurant—” “only for you to humiliate me in my own bed? how dare you.” “…are you sulking?” “…” “…carmy?” “syd?” “me too.” “…heard, chef. now come back here.”)

(and it’s unspoken, but everyone knows that michael would’ve loved her too. i mean, she’s sydney fucking adamu, she conquered the bear. how could anyone not love her?)

while I agree that the cast and writers of the bear play way too much in our faces about sydcarmy, it honestly blows my mind how a good number of viewers don’t stop to savor the EXPLICITLY romantic storytelling beats between these two:

syd x carmy in season three

i’m back here cause i have way too much to say than it can fit on thread on twt

this is just what i could come up after sitting on s3 for the past few days, i was spiralling, it was bad.

this will be a long one, so settle in!

for me, regardless if this season was supposed to be a two parter or not, one thing that’s clear to me is that we were meant to watch this rupture in their relationship develop throughout the season.

listen, he was locked in that freezer for hours, and in those hours he spiraled beyond control. we can’t expect sydcarmy to have the same dynamic as the past seasons cause they’re not in the same place they were before. Carmy locked in the walk-in changed him and therefore, changed their dynamic too.

he promised syd in the first episode that he was never gonna leave her alone again, but in his fucked up mind, this means never let her make a solo decision when is comes to the menu, is having him make all the decisions himself and have the last say and change her every input. For him, this is how he honours his promise and for syd is how he makes her feel under appreciated and undermined.

he makes it look like it doesn’t matter what she does, as great as it is, he’ll always change it and make it about him. the decision of having her as a partner takes her by surprise cause they have never discussed it, he dumps all of these things on her, first thing in the morning, she can wrap her mind around the fact that’s that same guy she left a few hours before. He’s completely changed.

And though she tries to at least get on board and support his non-negotiables list and the menu changing every day and all the bullshit with richie, by “doors” she’s already exhausted of trying to keep up with him, tired of being his babysitter.

so when that new opportunity is presented to her, she actually considers it because it’s a way out of working in a stress free environment where she has full creative control to shape the new place as she sees fit (also the pay and benefits?? I’d be signing that shit right there lmao). It really is an incredible opportunity.

so yeah, i feel like we were meant to see how they crack under pressure and this was something chris storer had said in interviews before when talking about s2 on how hard it is to open a restaurant and keep it running once you do. he always wanted to explore the gritty stuff and I felt like he accomplished that in this season.

from a narrative standpoint, at some point we had to see syd and carmy’s partnership is put to test, we need to see what falling out to the point of almost no return looks for them in order to see how they are gonna find their way back to each other. and i can’t see a better time to do it than now.

it can feel hopeless, yes, and feel like they’re not gonna make it to the finish line, but let’s remember this is a story about finding new ways to reconnect to the things/ people you love, found family and generational trauma.

we see carmy is at his lowest, sydney is at her lowest, so logically the only way we can get to is up.

i believe that after carmy confronted his abusive boss, he had some sort of breakthrough from the way he sighed after their talk. i took it as his way of beginning to process his trauma.

as for sydney, we saw how deeply the idea of leaving has affected her, even though she knows is for a better place where her ideas will be respected and appreciated they way she knows it deserves. hopefully her panic attack will be enough to make her realize she needs help making the decision (if she can’t have her best friend and partner for this, then she’ll have her dad).

all of this to say that i am hopeful and excited to see what’s coming next year, and i truly believe sydcarmy is on the right path (this is a slow burn doing slow burn things ffs). We can’t let go just when things gets interesting. im dying to see their big fight, it’s something I’ve been needing since s2.

they’re still soulmates (after we saw the invisible string scene, there’s no going back) and they had significant scenes this season too, just not the way ppl thought it would be.

let’s have them work it out on the remix

Thank you! And I love that you brought Emmanuel into the equation too. Yes.

Also, I have some notes about Chef Shapiro: “How exactly do we know and are sooooo sure her ideas will be respected in this new place and that this chef is not Carmy 2.0?

All we really know about him so far is:

Can we stop idealizing people and jump into conclusions please?

We already know EVERYTHING there is to know about Carmy to get a pretty accurate idea of who he is, including all his defects and of course, his virtues. Same goes for Syd.

How can we be soooooo certain about Shapiro being a better or safer bet than Carmy???

Not to mention she doesn’t love him. Letting that aside, Syd can’t be sure if leaving The Bear behind, where she already put soooooo much of HERSELF is necessarily the best choice.

If her heart is not in it, she won’t do it just because intellectually at face value the new offer Shapiro is making her might look “tempting”. She has been burnt before and she doesn’t know for sure Shapiro is “better than Carmy”. And neither do we.

you brought such a great point too!

i have been trying to organize my thoughts on shapiro and you pretty much touched on what i got so far too.

you’re right, we DON’T KNOW THIS MAN and what his intentions are with sydney.

also the fuck you garrett was a bit of a red flag to me, ngl

we do know sydney and we know how she operates. she’s the kind of person who leads with her heart

she put everything that she could into making the bear and she’s giving her all to keep it together while carmy is ready to set fire to everything she built. i think that’s one of the main reasons she feels tempted to accept the offer.

i also think part of her doubt comes from this deep feeling of fear of failing yet another business. she wants the bear to work so much she’s willing to be the intermediate between carmy and richie’s beef and takes leadership where carmy is lacking so they all can see it through.

its not lost on me that when shapiro presents her a way out, you can see she’s very surprised but also tempted a bit. and then when she comes to work, carmy shuts her ideas down three times.

and we can see her frustration

which to me feels like they wanted the audience to also be tempted, showing us how he straight up dismisses her input mindlessly. we are led to believe she’ll be better off leaving for a place where she’s heard and valued cause carmy is being an asshole.

now back to shapiro, we don’t know why he chose sydney specifically, but I imagined a few things:

when he went to the restaurant he saw the chaotic dynamic in the kitchen, could be that:

1. he saw how good she worked under pressure;

2. he mentioned the food didn’t felt like carmy, that it was something else (sydney) and he wants that.

3. he saw some sort of crack in syd and carmy’s relationship that would indicate she wasn’t happy working with him.

could be that he saw a completely different third thing that made him want her specifically for his restaurant, but because he doesn’t know her, he thinks if he offers her a great deal, she’ll consider abandoning carmy (he doesn’t know their history).

i saw some theory around that maybe he and carmy has some sort of beef from the old days (we saw him being impressed that carmy was the best at shelling peas) and taking sydney from him would be a pay back from that? but idk cause we don’t know him lmaoo for all we know, he could very well be even worse than carmy. syd must be considering that too.

i guess that we have to wait and see, but at the end of the day, even though she’s considering his offer (and this is a good thing for her so that she knows other people see her talent too), she knows her work at the bear isn’t done. she needs to see it through first.

shapiro not wanting to work with any of his former coworkers from Ever despite them all being on the breadline now is also a red flag - is it that he gives no fucks about their wellbeing? despite the fact that they worked together for a substantial length of time to make ever the well oiled machine that it was? or is it that he has already tried to convince some of his former colleagues to support him in this enterprise, but they politely turned him down because they know he's a nightmare to work with?

the subplots this season with adam shapiro and with computer trying to get Marcus fired feel like a re-skin of some subplots from the boiling point movie and the boiling point tv series. I can't remember who originally suggested that sydcarmys watch it, but I watched part of the series and the movie with @devisrina

in the boiling point movie - it depicts one night of the year where everything that can go wrong in a restaurant goes wrong for the high end eatery the movie is set in (think Review and The Bear, the season 2 finale up to eleven!). a dishwasher is tardy and delinquent despite the fact that they're being slammed with a killer dinner rush (Marcus being in his own world with perfecting his donut?). a man implied to be a middle aged former skinhead is cold and diffident and extremely rude to a Black server but avoids openly using slurs so the server feels paralysed to inform her manager that the customer is acting tetchy and dissatisfied with her because she is being racially abused (perhaps referenced in Sydrichie's tense dynamic in S1? "Yo, Sydn why are you being such a fucking bitch right now?!"). an expensive crate of high end/gourmet fish that was supposed to be the main course served that night has to be thrown out (axe the seven fishes? "Syd refire!" ?) because a health inspector (C health rating in season one) unexpectedly drops in and clocks that the fish wasn't stored and labelled properly - and gives them an extremely poor/delinquent /remedial health rating on top of it. due to the inexperience of a FOH manager and a new BOH cook who speaks English as a second language/ the wildly distracted Executive Chef, there is a grave case of miscommunication that results in a woman with a severe nut allergy being served a peanut dish - and almost dying on the premises as well - all while social media influencers ruin the ambience and record unflattering moments of the day on their phones, but last but not least - the EC's former colleague/boss who has an axe to grind against the EC because of professional jealousy has brought a friend of his to dinner, the friend is a professional food critic (Chicago Tribune surprise review?), and when served by the EC personally for the night (Carmy feeling pressured to serve Claire personally, even though it fucked with the rhythm of the kitchen and hallucinating Chef David?) - the EC's former boss claims in front of the reviewer that the dish served was really originally his (Carmy and Chef David?) and that the EC made minimal component changes. The EC is revealed to have insurmountable personal debt (need to repay Cicero?) - including debt owed to his asshole former boss and the man tries to threaten the EC into yielding up a majority stake in the restaurant and counsels the EC to scapegoat a member of staff for the accidental allergy poisoning of the customer that almost died. The EC is also revealed to have financial difficulties / and is shown being lax in his role as EC due to a severe drug addiction - and the EC ends up having a heart attack after taking one last hit of his secret stash to try to cope with the stress of the night. (i hope carmy isn't forced to stop and take an account of his life with a health scare like this, but who knows if Storer and co. will draw from this element of the movie too?)🙃

in the aftermath of the clusterfuck of a night that the movie covered - the boiling point tv series covers the hyper competent CDC of the restaurant featured in the movie, Carly, (a Black woman) who is now the executive chef and owner of a brand new restaurant, with the support of a cold and calculating financier (Syd and Shapiro?) who initially approached her to fund the restaurant on account of their friendship, Carly ultimately finds that her friend is a callous nightmare to work with - he advocates immediately firing a member of staff that almost died from a case of self harm /attempted suicide and Carly has to go to bat for her staff members to protect them from being sacrificed for the sake of their bottom line. (Computer on Marcus v. Nat?) etc...I didn't actually finish this mini series because while excellent it sits more firmly towards the cynical end of the sliding scale of idealism/cynicism, especially compared to The Bear, but seeing all the inspo Storer and co. drew from the Boiling Point movie and series, then I think I need to finish the series asap - it's only four episodes long.