Bag of Holding Potatoes

Screeching

same energy

This is incredible!!! 😁😍 People are so creative. This is brilliant!! It just kept going...

English added by me :)

everyone who translates chinese snark for me to enjoy should get a medal for their invaluable service

I think this video is what my grandparents think ocd is

i figured it out

Macbeth and Saruman better watch the fuck out.

Saw this while backreading old entries today and laughed hard enough I decided it needed another airing.

[ID: A sign out front of a hardware store in Chicago, decorated with a drawing of a Christmas tree and reading “The Trees are coming! Available week of Nov. 14, fresh from Midwest farms.” It looks jaunty but I found its message ominous.]

via indiarosecrawford

Frog Paints a Water Lily Pond 🪷🎨🐸

𝑓ₒᵣ ⲕᵢ𝑛𝑔 ₐ𝑛𝑑 𝑐ₒ𝑡𝑡ₐ𝑔ₑ

Ok, I adore the Frogs to begin with, but the sheer finesse and dedication of this one boggles my mind.

me: this is cute and precious

my brain: 45 years ago this person could've made a public access television show that ran for half a decade on the strength of this concept with the right framing device and it would've been paid for with federal arts grants and maybe even national syndication rights. now they're begging for a single minute of engagement on tiktok in the hopes that maybe someday the abstract metrics of digital media platforms will translate into a tangible career

me: yeah me: cute frog though

my brain: it is a cute frog

Given how much of feline play and social behaviour are imitative in character, I feel like it shouldn't come as a surprise to gamers that their cats want to roll the shiny math rocks, too. Like, you demonstrated that this is a form of play and let them watch you do it. They're participating!

If a player can't make it to the table, we let Mochi play their character in their absence. He loves slapping those little rocks around and has learned to gently touch minis on the table to indicate who he's targeting in combat.

Is there a risk he will roll badly and kill your character? Yes.

Is there an even more serious risk that he will roll better and make more sound tactical decisions than you ever have, become hero of the realm, and demonstrate how badly you need to work on your engagement skills? Also Yes!

He may also spend or make you a ton of money. We don't know why but he consistently beats the house whenever the party goes gambling.

We have taught Muffles how to roll the dice. We put them on the edge of the dice roller and he very deliberately smacks them off, then gets cheered and applauded. His rolls are pretty solid.

Ok but you need to understand that if your business has shareholders, this is literally illegal.

In the U.S. it is federal law that a business must do everything within its power--including environmental damage and worker exploitation--to maximize investor profits every year, or those shareholders are entitled to sue the business and it will be dismantled to pay what they are legally owed.

Shareholders have too many rights.

The system needs to be overhauled massively, but shareholders should be able to sue for less and should be able to be sued (and prosecuted) for more.

You want to invest? Fine. That's what you're doing, and that's all you're doing. If you don't like the business's plans or how they handle their money, you sell your stock and go someplace else. You take the dividend payout you're given, and you're the last person in line when handing out money.

Your investment doesn't work out? That's what gambling is. Better luck next time.

We also need a law that says that if a company is convicted of a crime, it's board of directors and CEO are automatically guilty of committing that crime via conspiracy, and subject to the "for humans" laws rather than the "for companies."

That means if Wal-Mart steals millions in worker wages, the CEOs and Board are prosecuted as if they'd robbed a bank of that same amount. If Hobby-Lobby smuggles artifacts, the people at the top are prosecuted as smugglers and thieves. If a company dumps toxic waste into a river against regulations, well, if any individual human did it, we'd call them a terrorist.

And we need a law that makes it so that companies that settle with the government cannot admit "no wrongdoing".

This is also why enshittification begins almost immediately when a startup goes public.

had a fascinating dream last night where there was a new, virally popular trading card game - it was called MOUNTAIN (stylised in all caps) and the whole gimmick was that you couldn’t buy boosters or anything - you had to find them?

nowhere sold MOUNTAIN - I mean, I expect players did, once cards were in their hands.

but acquiring cards meant noticing a box lying around, and just….nabbing it? they’d be in weird places - in a skip, wedged high up in a fence, nestled in the branches of a tree? nobody ever saw who left them there, and there was a lot of debate about how MOUNTAIN boxes were sometimes hard to acquire without risking one’s physical safety - but then, that was also bragging rights. especially as harder-to-reach boxes seemed to contain more elusive and sought after cards…

no, I don’t remember anything about the actual gameplay, we never played any MOUNTAIN. alas. I know there were “frame cards” that were literally transparent but for a fancy metallic or holographic border, which I guess upgraded the card they were applied to? frames were super rare, my coworker literally ran up to me in the pub purely to show off the frame he’d just found

dream brain gimme the deets on MOUNTAIN’s actual mechanics, I’m invested in this controversial unpurchasable scavenger hunt game

@cosmemery AHDJFKFKFK I LAUGHED

Wizard Fact #42: The real reason you're not supposed to stick a fork into your toaster is because you might stab one of the wizards in there

and they will instantaneously retaliate with a level 8 Chain Lightning, as is their right

THATS CONK CREET BABEY

DM (to our bard): The six cultists shove you to the ground, bow to the massive green dragon, and say, “Oh Great One, we have brought you this gold and this human sacrifice as tribute to your greatness. Please accept our offering.”

Rest of Party, looking on from a distance: Shit. He’s dead. He’s so dead. RIP Edward. 

DM: The dragon thanks the cultists and asks if you have any last words.

Bard: I look up at the dragon and say, “I have brought you this gold and these six cultists as tribute to your greatness.”

Rest of Party: OH SHIT!

DM, who was clearly not expecting that: …………roll persuasion.

Bard: 17.

DM: The dragon says, “I like you. Duck.”

Bard: ….I duck?

DM: The dragon incinerates the cultists with his poison breath and leaves you alive, flying off with his treasure. 

Bard: Oh my god. I thought I was dead.

DM: Honestly? So did I.

Yeah, that was predictable.