it’s nyquil drivin’ time

there is no competition. respectfully, you could never be me. disrespectfully, i would never want to be you.

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

and we need that! keeps us humble. 

Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT

It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!

I'm 16, that's like, barely a child

I'm in my 30s. You are baby

I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.

honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.

He’s literally too handsome.

Please don’t fuck this up, America 🔹🙏😬🔹

girl why the hell WEREN'T you at the devil's sacrament 👀 that's three sacraments in a row you've missed 👀 👀 👀

five place grid penalty. billion dollar bounty on his head. lando norris terrorist attacks twice in one day. british commentators on his ass. no swearing. no video games. virtual safety car warfare. max verstappen gets his wet weather brazil masterclass a la 2016. max verstappen gets his red flag tyre change. max verstappen gets to 2nd place from 17th in half the race, and the only thing standing between him and p1 is alpines own esteban fucking ocon. franco colapinto you earned yourself that second redbull seat my friend. this is the kind of day poets die to witness this is generational talent this is magical realism formula 1 like youll never again see

lando can't overtake 1 car max has overtaken 11

Honestly after years of watching Ben Shapiro play the genuine good faith debater so his fans can talk about how smart and reasonable and fair he is before going back to his real persona on his show, it is amazing to see someone tear that shit apart while he could do nothing but grin and take it. He comes into these “debates” pretending to be nice and respectful while not truly respecting a single person he’s talking to, sneaking in insults whenever he can, and fully planning to laugh behind their backs for being so dumb as to think their opinions matter, and people have to take it because otherwise they look like the unreasonable ones. It’s all a con for his outrage grift machine, and not a single word of it is in good faith.

So this guy decided to take one for the team and give back overtly the same disrespect Shapiro was dealing covertly. He flipped the chair around to throw him off his game to start (getting Shapiro to praise his masculinity right before revealing he was trans), ripped apart his charade, gish galloped him into silence, and then topped the whole thing off by faking the handshake that Shapiro had been doing insincerely with every participant. All while Shapiro, because he has to play the role, can’t do a thing about it. Don’t know if he just saw one thing too many and pulled this all off the top of his head, or if he planned to make a fool of Shapiro from the jump and was just waiting for the right moment, but either way go off king.

tmz 'obtaining' a photograph of liam payne's body literally MINUTES after his death and then posting said photograph on their site is one of the foulest things i've ever witnessed

Those 5 boys and the community around them held such a strong role in shaping me and knowing one of them is just... no more... I can't explain this feeling.

Loving how as soon as electricity was like, a Thing, people just went "you can make toast with this" and started working on electric toasters but they didn't quite have the whole heating element thing down so there was a not insignificant chance of it just exploding

People have been making bread crunchy by heating it up for Ages but for some reason I thought electric toasters would be happening around the same time as like, refrigerators but no people went "easier crunchy bread?" as soon as the technology was available. Not even remotely safe but like, existent. It took Way longer to figure out how to make things cold with electricity

I specify electric toasters because before that they had these bad boys

You just put your slice of bread in there and hold it over your fireplace and bam it's toast time

Actually you didn't have to use those, if you find yourself wanting some toast in victorian england you could also stick your bread on one of these motherfuckers right here

These are the very creatively titled (/s) toasting forks and they look metal as hell for the purpose they serve

You might notice that the tips are bent upwards, which is actually not for inflicting more pain when tormenting the souls of the damned but rather because the bread goes on them like so

And the bend helps keep the bread from sliding off

I know this is the most niche interest shit in the world but just look at that. The victorian era had no reason to go as hard as it did but every day I am grateful for it

But sliced bread didn't exist until... I dunno, but it was after Betty White was born. So would the Victorians just stab a wad of bread and toast it like a s'more or what?

I don't know how to tell you that you can slice a loaf of bread

me on the first day of september