avalonsilver reblogged
What are the threads that are unwoven which this work of untying bears upon? Freud spoke of 'memories' and 'expectations' attaching us to the other. What he doesn't take account of, but which is rarely absent―precisely in the fabric, the context of those memories and expectations―is the place for the message of the other. For the person in mourning, that message has never been adequately understood, never listened to enough. Mourning is hardly ever without the question: what would he be saying now? What would he have said? hardly ever without regret or remorse for not having been able to speak with the other enough, for not having heard what he had to say. Jean Laplanche, Essays On Otherness
