Writing Slow-Burn Romances

@not-the-girl-u-think​ said:

Let’s start with a little thingy first: slow-burns, when done well, are my favorite thing to read. I love the suspense that comes with them, that feeling when you know they’re going to get to together but you’re on the edge of your seat wondering if it’ll happen anyway. That stuff melts my heart, so I’m really, really happy that you sent this.

What is a slow-burn?

Slow-burns are great because they work both as a main or a subplot. They’re extremely character-oriented romances that take a while (usually an entire book or, in some cases, an entire series) to develop. Oh, and they have a talent for making people like me freak out over every little detail.

From a writer’s perspective, a slow-burn is a pain in the neck. You want everything to go at the right pace with the right chemistry enough that it seems like everything happens naturally. You don’t want things to go too slow or too fast, but you don’t want the reader to be rushed or bored either. Two characters are needed that would making a slow-burn seem worth it to pursue, and there lies the issue.

Creating the Chemistry

This part of the post is going to build pretty heavily on this post about writing believable romances. As you’ve (hopefully) guessed, your main goal for creating a successful slow-burn should be to achieve realism. Creating chemistry between characters is a balance of everything you’ve learned about writing romance.

In order for two (or more) characters to have good chemistry, they have to be compatible. One of the biggest giveaways of an under-developed romance is seeing two characters forced together when you know it wouldn’t happen in real life. When I say “balance”, what I mean is this: your characters can’t only have traits that fit well together, but they also can’t be constantly conflicting. 

People tend to like a challenge, so if their partner or partners just go along with everything they say it won’t become so much fun. However, constantly having to fight against the person/people you’re supposed to be with is physically and mentally exhausting. Once you get to this point, it’s easy to question whether this relationship is worth it.

This balance that you achieve is especially important because it’s one you’re going to be working with all throughout the development of this relationship. If there’s a trait you’re not necessarily “good” at writing, practice is going to be your best friend. You’ll need to know how their traits go together, where they clash and where they blend and where they don’t really act the way someone would expect.

The Relationship “Basis”

A slow-burn, as you know, doesn’t just happen. There are precursors, usually with them starting off as friends or a friend of a friend. Something was there first, and whatever this “something” was will have a pretty large effect on their current relationship.

If they were previously best friends, they’re probably already comfortable with each other. Depending on the length and depth of their friendship, taking it to a romantic level might not change anything other than the addition of kissing and… other activities.

If the previous relationship was based on a mutual dependency, depending on their personalities they might become more less dependent on each other. They might go out and learn/try new things together and use the codependency to help each other out, or they might make an effort to get a little more independent so they’re not constantly relying on each other.

You’ll want to consider how they met in the first place, and why they started talking in the first place. Was it a funny joke, a chance meeting on a vacation, something like tutoring at first? This basis will be the precedent for the relationship, and in my opinion it’s too important to be forgotten about.

Hinting at a Romance

Romance between people happens in weird ways. Sometimes someone points it out or sometimes it happens like in that one Tumblr post where one little thing happens and then it’s there. Sometimes it’s a stolen glance across the room or a game of spin the bottle gone wrong.

When there are situations involving a forcing of romantic interaction, the characters involved are absolutely correct to be made uncomfortable by this situation. I’ve seen too many stories where characters don’t act like themselves in these moments for purely the purpose of bringing in this romance… don’t do that.

What I tend to lean to are weird thoughts about the possibility of a romantic future and those thoughts that hit you unexpectedly. “Woah, I bet A would love this.” Things like that are what I usually do, just because that’s how I’ve always experienced things. If you want to go beyond your own perspective, ask your friends. It could definitely be a weird question, so if you’re not comfortable with that then Google will be your friend.

Everything else in a slow-burn is so character-oriented that there’s not really any more general advice I could give. Thanks again so much for asking, I hope this helps!