Shadowless Dreams

I understand that they were all shaking off their own traumatic experiences, and being excited to finally get to Kara, but how did no one notice Nia sitting there crying? (I mean, J’onn saw what she went through, that she didn’t manage to beat it the same way Alex, Kelly, and Lena did). I just wanted to give her the biggest hug.

- I agree! Nia was clearly heartbroken and deserved a hug! So I decided to expand on the scene and write one for her. x

Nia’s heart still thudded loudly in her head, even after J’onn’s voice was done echoing around the room.

“You did it. You all did it.”

Her lips trembled bitterly.

Did what?

What had she done? Other than lose Brainy, other than watch him get sucked out into space, powerless to do anything to save him. Because she’d made the wrong call, because she hadn’t figured out her dream. Again.

She’d watched him die.

Nia still felt numb. She should have been relieved; happy, even. Their rescue mission had worked. Kara was back, wrapped in Alex’s arms and yet… she couldn’t shake this awful feeling that none of this was real. How could it be? Her heart had just been ripped from her chest, and her throat still ached from the scream that continued to ring relentlessly in her ears. 

She hadn’t been able to breathe knowing she’d lost him, hadn’t been able to stand knowing it had been her fault.

The people around her didn’t feel like people at all. Just vague blurs and background noise, warped as though their voices were coming from somewhere far, far away. The hope that filled the room didn’t reach her, instead it felt invasive, like another illusion trying to trick her again, to convince her that she hadn’t just lost everything…

That she hadn’t lost…

Tears still clung to her lashes, half-way blinding her, but through the fog Nia could see Brainy in the next chair over, handling the controls as they fought their way out of the Phantom Zone’s clutches.

Something lurched deep inside Nia’s chest.

Behind them, Kara was still locked in Alex’s arms, no doubt terrified after what she’d endured. Nia knew that so much more was happening right now, but she just couldn’t focus on any of it.

Instead, the second the ship had shuddered its way out of the Phantom Zone, the moment they were safe and stable in their own dimension, Nia stumbled out of her chair.

And right into Brainy’s arms.

He hadn’t expected her, she knew. He’d only just stood from his own chair, an air of victory about him that just about masked the wateriness of his smile. Still, the moment Nia wrapped her arms around him, pressing her face tightly into his throat, nothing else mattered.

Kelly had told them to focus on what was real, right? So, she did.

She could hear Brainy’s heart in his chest, easing slowly from a frantic thud the Phantom had no doubt brought on. She caught the white glare of his life projectors, vibrant and alive, lighting up the blue tones of her suit where she’d pressed herself close. He smelt like the acrid bite of copper wiring, not quite overpowered by the familiar scent of his cologne.

She bit her fingers hard against his shoulders, a tight sob catching in her chest.

He was real.

He wasn’t dead. She hadn’t lost him.

He was real.

“Nia, hey,” Brainy murmured, his voice a gentle whisper. His arms wrapped around her automatically, fingers sliding carefully across her back.

Nia nearly melted into his touch, but her body was still so tense all over, the aftershocks of her nightmare still far too close to the surface of her conscious mind. Instead, she squeezed him tighter, breathing heavily into the warm crook of his neck.

Brainy’s lips brushed the side of her face, tickling her ear. “What did you see?”

Nia shuddered, shaking her head. She couldn’t say it, couldn’t make it real. Because it wasn’t. This moment was real. Nothing else mattered.

Her tears were coming now, hot and fast, wetting Brainy’s collar, but he didn’t seem to mind. Instead, his hands found the centre of her back, rubbing steady circles as her chest spasmed with every harsh sob that broke free from her throat.

“It’s okay,” Brainy told her, tucking his face into her hair. “Whatever you saw, it wasn’t real.” He lowered his voice then, pressing his thumb carefully along her spine. “I’m right here.”

Despite Brainy’s assurances, Nia couldn’t believe it quite yet. Maybe when her tears finally stopped and her head was clear, she would.

For the meantime, though, she was perfectly content to remain locked in her boyfriend’s arms.