autoretort reblogged
kawairitsu-deactivated20141013
autoretort reblogged
Source: tacohellofficial
autoretort reblogged
What’s a boob?
pimpdaddio
its that thing you put on a sandwich.
autoretort reblogged
uchiigatana
im already hard
What's a boob?
coreking replied to your post: He doesn’t even have a dick and he’s t...
I have two children. I know what to do with my dick.
He doesn't even have a dick and he's telling you how to use yours.
autoretort reblogged
Just trust me on this one. I’ve never fucked anyone but trust me.
autoretort reblogged
I would absolutely fuck a robot. We’re going to fuck each other, like an ouroboros of metal dong. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Absolutely nothing.
*hacker voice* I'm in.
autoretort reblogged
autoretort reblogged
A lady at the supermarket asked me how old my brother is and I realised that I still look like a teenager: my anime tshirt, gelled hair, and pink shoes aren't helping.
autoretort reblogged
List of things my daughter has done this month:
- Told her brother that the stork was taking him back.
- Shoved K2 into various compartments, pouches, bags, ect.
- Hacked my iPhone to talk to my boyfriend (Uncle Dirk).
- Shared her ice cream with K2 when he dropped his- This is good.
- Learned to read Red Fish Blue Fish on her own- This is good.
- Ran a dictatorship. - This is bad.
- Referred to Hal and I as “underlings” yet still sleeps in my bed when she’s scared.
- "Accidentally" places legos around the house to injure my husband.
autoretort reblogged
Hal walked in on K2 brushing her hair though. That was cute.
That wasn't cute, he was crying and Mac was threatening to rip out his hair.
I got my first pair of shoes with laces in them today and my daughter taught me how to tie them.