The Girl with the Dragon AU

Concept: TMA quotes but it's Barbie

Proof of concept:

Bonus:

"Is it a safe space to say i hate-" NOT IN THE MAINTAGS IT ISNT

"I hate [character] from [show] soo much #character, #characters's full name, #show,

ARE YOU INSANE

Not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (drift compatible)

but not like you do i fear

I'm so tired of the way suspicious meat is always human meat like for once I just want to be surprised. Let it be something else I'm so tired of it being human meat

Look I love horror I'm a big fan of it but guys. It's been overdone. At this point when I reach a point in a story where the meat starts being suspicious I roll my eyes because we all already know it's just some guy. Mystery meat could be so much more why won't we let it be more

Oh my steak is a guy? Yawn. Boring. That's every steak in horror.

Give me meat that just spawns randomly in your fridge. Meat that has no clear origin. Where is it from? We don't know. What kind of meat is it? No clue. It's mystery meat (non human (as far as we're aware of)). That's already a bit scarier if only thanks to not knowing how hygenic it is

Give me horror meat that isn't human bt has it's horror rooted in reality. Give me parasite pork that takes over your brain functions. Give me fucking prion disease at this point I'll take it. I'm so starved for mystery meat where the twist ISN'T that it's human c'mon people we can do better than this

Give me meat that IS genetically human but can't be matched to anyone's DNA!!! Where the fuck is it from?? We don't know!! Scary!!!

Oh people keep disappearing but hey at least the food is really good so that's something right? Womp womp you're eating a guy. Boring. Been there done that. Give me something new

Give me a guy who works in a slaughterhouse who swears on his life he's killed the exact same cow every week for the past 6 months and every time it gets harder to pull the trigger as it looks him in the eyes like it knows him

you go over to your friend's house and he cooks two chewy, bland, rectangular cuts of meat. Not pork, definitely not beef... maybe venison. In the morning you wake up and go to the kitchen to find he's taken off the cover plate of the light switch by the sink and he's carving out a neat rectangle of the flesh behind it.

@entities-of-posts

The Flesh

The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes

and we need that! keeps us humble. 

Then I'm just like WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE AN ADULT

It goes the other way, too, because WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE A CHILD?!!

I'm 16, that's like, barely a child

I'm in my 30s. You are baby

I'm older than both of you in a trenchcoat.

honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.

Little old Italian lady: Do you have zucchini?

Me: Yes, right here.

Lady: Is how much?

Me: $2.99 a pound.

Lady: It's usually $1.49.

Me: Yes, in the summer.

Lady, pauses, then grabs two: I put it in a soup.

Me: Oh nice, what kind are you making?

Lady: You will not fantasize about my soup.

And then she walked away. "You will not fantasize about my soup" will be in my head forever. I love you, little old Italian lady.

no, spotify, i don't want to use ai to "turn my ideas into playlists". i already fucking do that with my brain and hands and i do it for fun. what, should i get ai to pet my cat for me? to play my silly games for me? to spend time with my beautiful wife for me? how about i rend you asunder

As an adult you must cultivate the skill of “Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.”

Applies to everything from BDSM parties to your sister’s godawful interior design choices to weird bachelor pad meals eaten over a sink.

Gross! Oh, well. Not my business.

I saw somebody be wrong on the internet and I didn’t respond (don’t want to get involved) and I’m being SO brave about it

I should never have made this post because now every time it gets a new note I’m reminded of how wrong that one person on the internet was.

reblog to remind them how wrong that one person on the internet was

THEY WERE SO WRONG. ON THE INTERNET.

What were they wrong about?

NO I AM BEING SO BRAVE ABOUT IT

It’s been a year- I do believe that the silence has been expired

THEY SAID STORIES DON’T NEED CONFLICT BECAUSE HAYAO MIYAZAKI MOVIES ARE GREAT AND DON’T HAVE CONFLICT IN THEM

THEY SAID MIYAZAKI MOVIES

DON’T HAVE

CONFLICT

WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THIS BEFORE!? They were so so so wrong!

I was being so brave about it

this is just so funny to me

people trying to insist a fandom is tiny when it /only/ has a few thousand works on ao3 meanwhile my current fandom is a sixteen book series and has several hundred fewer works than goncharov, a movie that, and i cannot stress this enough, doesn’t even exist

#measuring the size of fandoms based on their goncharov index#this has been a useless text post you may now resume your normal programming#rote has a goncharov index of 0.63#for perspective ofmd has an index of 26.5#spn’s is 360.8#the cosmere is 2.26 for a fantasy book comparison#i am very normal

The Goncharov Index, everyone.

16:9 TV is homophobic.

Bring back 4:3 so the actors have to nearly kiss just to be in frame again

I named no shows but this has already been reblogged with the tag #star trek

Try standing this close to someone who without them thinking you're going in for a kiss, I dare you.

MEN SHOULD STAND SHOULDER TO SHOULDER WITH OTHER MEN AND LOOK DEEPLY INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES

(women should do this with other women too, #feminism #yuri)

I kinda want to make a side blog that's just pairs of men or women staring into each other's eyes up close, but it's just because they're in 4:3, the only aspect ratio with built in homoerotic tension

4:3 is "there's only one bed" of aspect ratios.

there is only 4:3, so they have to stand so close they can almost taste each other when they speak.

Have some 4:3 Star Trek Yuri:

See? 4:3 is the best aspect ratio.

From a show that ran concurrently with Star Trek TOS (1966-68), The Rat Patrol:

Man from UNCLE

Why don't they just kiss

Nobody will tell you this, but right under the pavement is a thousand-mile expanse of meat and flesh. It’s why concrete is so strong. And it drinks the blood from car accidents. As you do.

@entities-of-posts the Flesh, presumably

Seconded

(scary dom voice) call the restaurant, slut. im too shy