hmhmmhhmhmhh
caught feelings for a guy and i now want to engage with a person as if I were normal and i can feel my psyche tearing itself apart deciding on whether i get dicked down or not since i KNOW that trying to be a normal person cannot be good for me
words cannot describe how the urges feel other than possibly as self destructive
like he's not anything like anyone i have ever felt any kind of connection with before, and doing to myself what it would take to be able to do that with him feels so drastic that it's probably not a good idea. unless he calls me a goood boy. hten i can do anything.