Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted
Wait what.
Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid
oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband's capsules with rat poison.
"back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn't get divorced!" nah, friend, they COULDN'T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.
My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she "dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.
So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.
Men don't realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.
:))))))))
My mom is a gastroenterologist and she once told me that the old wives' tale of people who died of "stopped digestion" was pretty much made up to cover up for women who got fed up with their abusive husbands and slipped some rat poison into their dinner (esp in rural areas). Local doctors knew who these men were (everyone knew) and the community pretty much nodded along when the death certificate said natural causes. The widow would dress in black for a couple years and basically go on with her life.
