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#i want to scream – @athousandbyeol on Tumblr
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@athousandbyeol / athousandbyeol.tumblr.com

na. she/her. 25. make it worthwhile. i write, edit and create sometimes. heels over head in the bedroom. //alter ego; tracking #forathousandbyeol
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i don't think i've ever cried that quickly... only two minutes into the episode and I was already crying...

wow. this episode was too much for me. everything about it. i need more time to digest it.

but the thing that broke my heart the most is jiang tian's very moment reappeared—and it was the most vulnerable moment in his life :( I was like love... child... why did you enter the room... why did you stood there... you weren't supposed to witness that...

and I guess jiang tian's very moment came back because he was a bit scared (?) of the moment he shared with sheng wang... it looks like jiang tian really wanted to let go, but the trauma kept coming back and haunting him...

oh... now i'm scared. what on earth will happen in the final episode?

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tipsyjaehyun

The way Jiang Tian's literal/physical luggage also symbolises the emotional baggage that he carries makes me quite emotional.

We get introduced to "his suitcase" when he's about to move into Sheng Wang's place. He caresses his cat, taking in the environment around him because these are the things he's leaving behind. However, he has to carry his baggage with him.

He drags it along with him, unsure as to whether this new place that he's gonna be staying in would be welcoming of them. Though the house and the closet he might get would be big but it definitely would not be big enough for them to stay in.

That's why he starts looking for a new accomodation as soon as he's moved in. In his head and through his past experiences, there has been no place he could call his own. Every place that he's been to has been a temporary solace.

But Sheng Wang notices this. He sees this boy with the emotional weight he carries on his shoulders, closed off and unsure as to if he'll ever get to rest on somebody's shoulders. And I think that is why, along with surprise and sadness, Sheng Wang feels betrayed. In his mind, he and Jiang Tian were getting closer but seeing Jiang Tian so guarded, he assumes that the feelings may have been one-sided.

Even Uncle Ding mentions this.

So, Sheng Wang does exactly that. He doesn't let Jiang Tian get away. He "confronts" him to tell him the truth about the hooligans. He keeps Jiang Tian close.

But slowly and slowly as he and Sheng Wang start getting closer, he starts letting loose. Joking around, teasing each other, helping each other out, his heart starts shedding off the armour, one brick at a time, one cloth at a time.

The luggage that was chained and completely sealed is getting reopened. The clothes are being unpacked, feelings are being shared, conversations are happening and Jiang Tian is letting his guard down, without even realising it.

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ellsieee

The tale of the hawthorn candy.

Jiang Tian again remembering details about Sheng Wang, and trying to take care of him. That small smile as he offers the candy. 🥹

The rejection. 😭 It was so hard for them to even get to this point in their relationship where they can trust and rely on each other. Sheng Wang pulling away hurt Jiang Tian. More importantly, it hurt because Sheng Wang has become a very important person in his life. He wouldn't care about anyone else ignoring him.

AHHHHH! Jiang Tian fed Sheng Wang the candy! I found this very cute and romantic ngl. He had been waiting for Sheng Wang to accept his token of love candy this whole time. Loving Jiang Tian's self satisfied smile.

Look at them. Look at them both relieved and happy to have made up. 🥹🥹🥹

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