sun/down

arc pulls himself away from arm, smiling when the other grins, too adorable for his heart (and sanity) to handle. so he confides in ruffling arm's hair affectionately, mumbling "take care of yourself, okay?"

arm scoffs, answering, "of course! i'll be taking care of myself! i'll take care of myself from you! if it happens again, i won't hesitate to scold you! or beat you up! so, prepare yourself, phi arc!"

will you have me? phoom wishes to say. will you have all of me now that i'm eternally yours? phoom desires to confess.

"you're back?" "i'm sorry. you've waited for so long."

"but i hope it was worthwhile. the wait. the chase. i'm sorry that i was so dense. and stupid. and oblivious to your feelings for me. i never experienced something like this. you were my firsts in everything. how i wish i knew better. you wouldn't have to suffer for so long."

"i saw ray with sand today." top knows where this is going. and he doesn't like it. but he keeps the flow moving, rides the tide expertly before it can pull him away from the beach of his sanity. "and?" "...i don't feel so good." me too. "why?" the silence is overpowering. top can only hear the thunder in his heart. the honks from the midnight cars. the faint music from his next-door neighbour, a slow jazz. the tick tick tick of the mind bomb. the end of it all.

mew touches him. and touches all of him. and top is so full of mew now. so beguiled by the grounding grip around his body, making his toes curl and his throat dry from all the silent screaming, of just wanting and needing and wishing. top is so full of mew that he exists as a piece of mew, because of mew, and for mew.

how can kusa ever love someone who will never belong to him? "i wish i could hate you," because he has been trying. for years. but it's all in vain.