Atheostic

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

Christians: Jesus is the only person who’s ever risen from the dead.

Lazarus (and all the people that supposedly resurrected that one time): Am I a joke to you?

The raising of Lazarus from the dead and the resurrection of Christ are usually considered to be the result of two different processes. Lazarus’s being raised from the dead was a return to the state of life as he had before he had died; tradition holds Lazarus would live a more or less normal life and die again at the end of it. The Resurrection of Jesus was believed to not be simply a return to the state of life that He had before death, but a rising to something better; a perfected human body, supernaturally transformed into something more than what it was before; an impassible body, infused with the glory of God, and existing forever without denigration or death. Depending on who you mean by all the people that supposedly recommended one time (I assume you mean the ones mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew, after the Passion narrative), their resurrection is believed to be the result of Christ’s, for Christ is the “first fruit” but in no way meant to be the last. So a Christian would be wrong in saying that Jesus is the only person who has returned from the dead, but His resurrection nonetheless represents a paradigm shift in Christian thought; there were miracles concerning people being raised from the dead before Christ, but Christ is the first in a kind of resurrection that fundamentally transforms human nature.

I already assumed that the Jesus resurrection was different from the Lazarus + zombie horde resurrections, though it’s interesting to learn how exactly Christians view it as different beyond the surface “One was a freakin’ god!” way.

The Christians I was referencing in the OP (most of which were callers to Atheist Experience and Talk Heathen) definitely didn’t mean it in the nuanced way which you’re looking at it, because when the hosts would bring up Lazarus and the other people who rose from the dead the Christian would either get quiet for a bit or get rather flustered and then change the subject because their claim had been proven wrong.