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@athenacyikes / athenacyikes.tumblr.com

jenny//22 ♥ she/her ♥ i draw and i talk about video games ⋆☆★☆⋆
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evil-bonched
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nonasuch

With Miss Universe 2022 coming down the pike, I’ve realized that I somehow missed one of my favorite bonkers fashion events for both 2020 and 2021! Which cannot stand. Before I start, though, I want to discuss some of the common Fashion Pitfalls of the Miss Universe national costume event.

There are some broad categories that most Miss Universe national costumes will fall into. Generally, they will incorporate one or more of the following elements:

There is a delicate balance to be sought, between using too few of these elements, and trying to incorporate too many into a single look. The other important axis is, of course, execution, both of concept and in construction and materials.

Basically, the ideal Miss Universe national costume scores high on the following measures:

  • Wearability: is the contestant visibly struggling to balance the giant headdress, is it too heavy to move naturally, are the spike heels likely to catch on the fringe, etc
  • Construction: is the costume well-made from beautiful, high-quality materials, are the wings securely attached, if there are moving parts do the mechanisms get stuck, is it visibly shedding rhinestones or feathers
  • Concept & Execution: does the costume have a novel or well-thought-out inspiration, and is that idea executed with a clever and visually appealing design? or did you just paint SAVE THE RAINFOREST on a cape and call it a day?
  • Aesthetics: is it actually nice to look at? what percentage of the audience is going to tilt their head to one side and say “huh. okay,” when they see it?
  • The Fucking Audacity: this one is hard to articulate but tbh you’ll know it when you see it.

Scoring especially high in any of the above categories may compensate for a deficit in one of the others, especially if you go extra hard on Fucking Audacity.

up next: some  compare & contrast!

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nonasuch

Basically, two costumes can use very similar elements, but success or failure will depend on design and construction. 

Both contestants here have wings as a major element, but Miss Philippines’ wings are awkwardly shaped and her costume lacks a coherent aesthetic, while Miss Peru is able to look like a graceful background extra from Jupiter Ascending.

While I applaud Miss Japan’s commitment to wearability and ease of movement, her clever design and intricate construction definitely give Miss Thailand the KO on martial arts themed costumes.

Most years there are a lot of Snow Queen variations, but 2020 had an unusually high number of Sea Queens instead. Honestly, I don’t hate any of them? None are as half-assed as some of the Snow Queens can be (and were, that year and in 2021).

The half-assed Snow Queens.

And the ones who put in some creativity and effort.

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nonasuch

okay so this is the Costume Shaming portion of the evening. these costumes are bad and they should feel bad.

  • cheap Party City sexy Beefeater
  • cheap Party City sexy Mountie
  • cheap Party City sexy Spartan
  • cheap Party City sexy supervillain (with soccer? cape?)
  • cheap Party City sexy beer garden wench (x2)
  • expensive but somehow still cheap-looking costume rental centurion
  • DIY “It’s a Small World” costume that was definitely still being frantically hot-glued together 15 minutes before leaving for the Halloween party

girl, you literally just wore a cocktail dress. someone handed you that flag on your way to the stage. c’mon.

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nonasuch

I do actually like some of these! I swear! Here are some standouts:

Miss France: At first glance a reasonably well-executed Standard Showgirl, but it’s actually a really lovely and clever homage to Josephine Baker!

Miss Mexico’s costume is huge and sparkly and has a great color scheme and it looks like if a Voltron was a pageant contestant. I like it.

If you were having trouble visualizing what I meant by The Fucking Audacity element of Miss Universe national costume design, Miss Panama is it.

Miss Spain’s costume is so specific and weird that I actually find it very endearing.

Miss Vietnam is a fucking silkworm cocoon! It opens and closes around her! It needs little wheely supports! I respect her so much for this.

This is Miss Nepal. I love that she managed to make a costume that would otherwise max out Wearability into something completely unwieldy. But the design and execution are genuinely great, too. Truly the Everest of national costumes.

okay, “sexy Komodo dragon” is a genuinely difficult concept to execute at all, let alone this well, so props to Miss Indonesia for that.

I just think this looks cool. Those capes are almost impossible to execute well, and Miss Ecuador’s finally managed it.

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nonasuch

Okay, I’m going to round up some high scorers on The Fucking Audacity and call it a night.

Miss Bahamas brought a fucking parade float onstage to go with her sparkly cruise ship captain outfit.

I don’t really know what’s going on here but there’s sure a lot of it! Good job keeping that headdress on, Miss Mexico.

Miss Malaysia also brought a parade float, except hers is a tiny house.

Flower themes are pretty common, but it’s actually rare to see “sexy tree” done well.

#love this#clothes
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vvulpes

french evening wrap (via the met museum) and blouse and jacket combo (nationality unknown), c. 1900

#clothes
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