i love how everyone on this website interacts with each other in ways that are so socially impermissible irl. how did we get here

like i know none of us call people we barely know "bestie" out loud. i know none of us say "i am kissing you on the mouth" in response to every mild compliment. but god i wish we did

(recent) tumblr exclusive linguistic phenomena:

I think my absolute favorite is "Thank you for the input, Tumblr user [[wildly inappropriate username]]"

tumblr automatically changing - > into -> is so good. honestly the best thing about this website. makes me disappointed and angry whenever i type it outside of tumblr and it remains the ugly caricature of itself instead. -> beloved

hello does anyone know how i can stop receiving random notifications from people i don’t follow who have nothing to do with any posts (or even fandoms) i have ever interacted with???

update for anyone else who may be receiving these notifications: apparently it happens whenever anyone uses “a gif you made” in a post. in my case this appears to be a gif of jess from new girl sobbing on the floor. i’m pretty sure i never made any such gif so i guess that means “whenever you’re the first to copy paste any reaction gif into tumblr”. functional website with useful functions 👍

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

the archive/tagged trick is a lifesaver!!

a caveat on op’s caveat is that if your blog/the blog you want to search is older than [whenever they forced everybody into the tumblr.com/user change], most of these tricks will still work whether or not they have enabled “custom theme.”

tumblr works it’s just a closely guarded secret

tiktok is such an awful app, it's almost designed to feed you misinformation and expose you to insane discourse. unlike beloved tumblr, the app that feeds me misinformation and exposes me to insane discourse

No, no, no, you see on tiktok an algorithm feeds you misinformation. On Tumblr I feed myself misinformation from my charcuterie board of hand-selected unhinged mutuals.

None of that mass market junk. Only artisanal, small batch, sustainably cultivated, fair trade horseshit.

Maybe the real treasure was the boops we made along the way

If you OPT-IN, you can boop your moots!!!!

UPDATE: To SUPER-BOOP someone, you have to be on desktop. Hover your courser over the boop paw button until it shakes. Then send it!

Earn Boop Badges for Your Profile:

1 boop given = Booper (white paw)

314 boops given = Bountiful Booper (orange paw)

1000 boops given = Booper Breaker (black paw)

also have the tumblr paws i took through inspect element for all ur silly purposes

i've seen a couple of posts saying people feel bad boop-spamming or booping people they don't know/don't talk to/whatever but PLEASE feel free to boop-spam me if you want those badges! live your dreams! never give up!

staff: our april fools joke this year is a silly feature that doesn't really do anything but give you a button to boop other users! they have to opt-in first though :)

me:

"Kill them with kindness" Wrong. Thousand Boop attack.

boops you