Birthday Saturn in the 5th House - Heartbreak Parade

written by astrolocherry

The heart can feel locked in a cage with Saturn in the 5th. Under the glare of blinding lights, the individual can feel like she has been written into a repetitive and haunted performance. The vitality for life can be inhibited and the heart can feel heavy and always a little broken. Scalding self doubt hits the spirit like boiling water and burns away her natural talents, light, and inspiration. She is capable of creative mastery, conducting the creator’s spirit with the wands of Gods. Rejection and humiliation are fears she carries everywhere, and she is profoundly wounded by criticism, abandonment, and exclusion. She watches herself with condemning self consciousness, often chastising herself for saying the wrong thing or acting the wrong way. It can make her socially reserved and distant despite her powerful urge to connect. 

The inner child is the voice of wisdom with Saturn in the 5th. But her upbringing may have involved invalidation, premature exposure to adult issues, and constant critique. It generates a sense of unworthiness and self depreciation, like she will never truly be loved for who she is, and the inner child is severely damaged by this. This inner child is the solar light of pleasure, joy, and freedom with Saturn in the 5th. The further she distances herself from the child inside, the less she feels worthy or capable of happiness. She can remind herself constantly that ‘she must be an adult’, and keep maturity and self sufficiency on display. It’s like she could be on a permanent famine where she denies herself pleasure and indulgence, like she starves herself. won’t spend her money, or turns down romantic interests before she can get hurt. Of course the opposite can occur with Saturn, and the inner child can be high on the delights of the adult world once denied to her. She can flirt incessantly and seek romance after romance for the short term thrill and fear of abandonment. But even this core feels unlovable, and she may feel so disconnected from her body that she doesn’t care what happens to it. She needs to free herself from the grip of her ego’s hostage, she needs to liberate herself from herself. When she is inspired and confident in herself the paintbrush of God extends through her hand.  

Saturn in the 5th people are nourished by children. There may be difficulties with pregnancy, it may take a long time for the individual to fall pregnant or have a child. This is because a child is very much part of the higher lesson plan, the timing perfectly pre-planned in line with the individual’s personal development. She may not be a natural, but the child’s spirit is healing to her own. The individual can work on her self and self expression like a work of art, designing a masterpiece with discipline, constantly looking to repair cracks and flaws. It may take the individual many years to truly come into herself, she can be slow to blossom, but her life is very much about the difficulties growing through concrete, and eventually blooming in bedazzling heaven’s light once the hard work has been done. She must use her wisdom to recognise, validate, and channel the muse of the inner child, and the natural parent in her must learn to nurture her inner child in the ways it was denied. She can begin to realise her innocence, value, and that she is deserving of love. More than anything, Saturn in the 5th longs to be loved. 

Sensitivity sets the stage with Saturn in the 5th. Words can wound, self hatred can be rife, and the fear of failure can loom gloomily. Physical creativity is a healing octave, and she must alchemise the muse into the material. The individual can focus frustration and depreciation into creative expression and repair herself as she designs. She may sit down to write a story and become anxious and agitated with the blank screen flashing back at her, like the muse goes into hiding, and she must wrench it out with sheer will and patience. She can be a brilliant artist, but she will surely be a tortured one. Tweaking the personality becomes a lifelong art, she may need to lower her voice, stop being so intense, or believe in herself more. She has all the light of the sun fighting to radiate through her, and self appreciation can open up the closed off blinds. When she stands alone wielding her own light, standing on the peak of self belief and love, she creates her own world, her own performance, her own captivating cinematography, and the love begins pouring like 5th house melting rainbows.

 Cherry