Paul Ryan, Asshole of the Day for March 6, 2014
If you've been paying attention to politics at all over the past few years, you've no doubt noticed the GOP sliding into an abyss of abject stupidity and stunning, breathtaking insensitivity. And just when you think they've tapped those wells dry, they find a way (fracking, probably) to squeeze just a little more out of them.
For example, behold onetime GOP VP candidate Paul Ryan, who just today told the assembled crowd of mouth-breathers at CPAC that if only poor kids' parents loved them more, they wouldn't need free lunch programs to feed them.
He made this point while telling a story that was supposed to give us all the sads: a “young boy from a very poor family” who got government-funded free lunches at school but was totally bummed out about it.
“He wanted his own lunch, one in a brown paper bag, just like the other kids,” Ryan said, adding, “He wanted one, he said, because he knew a kid with a brown paper bag had someone who cared for him. This is what the left does not understand.”
You know what, Paul Ryan? I've been that kid. And on behalf of all those kids, fuck you.
I was raised in Southern California by a single mother, who had me young and struggled to support us. When I was about 5, a teacher friend of hers told her I was extraordinarily bright and stressed the importance of getting me in the right schools to nurture that.
The closest and best public school district was, naturally, in a wealthy area. But my mom somehow found an apartment she could afford there, and the next thing I knew, she'd packed me, our cat and what few belongings we had into her beat-up VW Bug and off we went.
My mom's friend was right – the school was phenomenal. I still remember those teachers. They were warm and encouraging and supportive, and never made me feel like the underprivileged kid.
And yes, I got government-sponsored breakfasts and lunches. But contrary to Paul Ryan's story, it was not a reenactment of a Dickens novel. No dirt-smudged faces. No gruel. No moonfaced moppets begging for more.
Look, I knew my circumstances were different than the other kids somehow, but no one shamed me. And no one shamed my mother, who worked her ass off so her kid could go to the best school possible. (You want love, Paul? Put THAT in a brown paper bag, you smug, condescending douchebag.)
Fast forward a few years and I went on to become the first woman in my family to graduate from college. These days, I make a nice living and pay back into the same government system that helped me get where I am now. And I'm happy to do it.
Because somewhere there’s a little girl whose single mom is doing the best she can – and I’ll be damned if I’m going to make it any harder for them than it has to be. But Paul Ryan wants to make it harder, and that's why he is the Asshole of the Day.
It is Paul Ryan's second time being named Asshole of the Day. His previous win was for insisting on concessions in order to vote to pay for the budget that he himself negotiated and took credit for.
Full story: Raw Story
UPDATE: Turns out the anecdote about the little boy wasn't about a kid getting a government subsidized lunch!
Shauna Wright (@goldengateblond) spends her days writing and editing things for cash and prizes, and you can find her dishing celebrity snark on the regular at Blabberazzi.com.
