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@assassins-run-from-me on Tumblr
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Intensify My Breathing

@assassins-run-from-me / assassins-run-from-me.tumblr.com

Hey, suckers. I am Sammy, the goddess of kicking ass and taking names. I love Attack on Titan and a bunch of other shitastic anime. M-hmm. This world is my playground and I plan to take the bully's lunch money.
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memewhore

the “i am from russia” was a warning

I asked a taxi driver in Bucharest to take the quickest route to the airport. 10 minutes later we're doing 120kph the wrong way done the street car tracks when another taxi tried to pass us and dude just floors it. Never spoke a word, smoked 9 cigarettes over the 30 minute ride, never took off his sunglasses and blasting opera all the way. I look at it as paying 15€ plús tip to lose all fear of death.

the "i am from russia" was both a warning and a promise, and one that would weirdly put me at ease about the situation.

how could you leave this in the tags

second hand story but one I know is true, but my dad worked as a taxi driver in Monteray in the 90s. Now, it’s important to note that there’s a racing event in town, so lots of people are coming through. My dad just so happens to get a group of people in town for the race in his car.

Because taxi’s are not like uber and you are basically expected to make conversation, my dad asks if these guys are in town for the races. They say yeah, so my dad asks “are you participating or are you watching?”

“Participating”

“Well then, I don’t like you”

They ask why, and my dad explains that they’re doing what he’s always wanted to do. Well, this small guy right behind my dad makes the mistake of saying “Well, show us what you got.”

My 25 year old father, takes this as a challenge. Now, his driving is still scary to this day, so imagine how it was when he was 25. He fucking floors it down the highway, and there is an exit they need to take to get to the bar the guys are going. This exit has hedges on the drivers side, so my dad slows down to 60, takes this turn on 2 wheels. All the guy behind him see’s is these bushes coming at him, so he does the rational thing and he screams like a little girl.

When they arrive at the bar, everyone piles out, and then one guy stops, turns around and motions for my dad to roll down the window. He tosses a $5 at my dad and says “I’ve never heard anybody make Christian scream like that.”

My dad had Christian Fittipaldi and his pit crew in his car, and made him scream like a little bitch. It’s my all time favorite story.

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caats

We invited our neighbors to our outdoor cat’s bday party

4 neighborhood families showed up and so did the birthday boy, Hans! He enjoyed lots of catnip. It was a great opportunity to meet our neighbors and swap Hans stories. He lets himself into a lot of their houses and it was nice to be able to offer these people pizza and beer for their troubles 🤣

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Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

I hope he got to smoke a bowl with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot

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Ryan Gosling’s career has just been one long quest to climb the Warner Bros water tower

that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now he’s famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.

I hope he got to smoke a bowl with Yakko, Wakko, and Dot

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