@asparagusetc / asparagusetc.tumblr.com
see when people try and nitpick me because i call my dog "my dog" when it's technically "the family dog".......well first of all i still call my brother "my brother" and not "the family boy". although maybe that should change. second of all sorry i'm still thinking about the family boy. btw i fell asleep while making this post last night and i think you can tell
Very tenuous link to one of my favourite tweets
they should invent a grief that doesn’t define you in new and strange ways for the rest of your life
only americans will understand::
shirley temple DVD set infomercial
Medieval Scooby
Things that don't exist in Scooby-Doo:
Things that exist in Scooby-Doo:
Robin by Cliff Chiang
All I see is a kitten scowl
Trust building exercise
jump off flying objects (a colleague)
Abled Person: Hey man, can you hold this wad of $2,000 and this one penny for me while I open my wallet?
Disabled Person: YOU COMPLETE AND UTTER FOOL!
The United States Government:
(Watch how many people don’t get this.)
In order for disabled people to receive any sort of financial assistant for their housing, food, bills, medical supplies, etc., they cannot ever have more than $2,000 of resources to their name. Ever.
It doesn’t matter what it’s for.
You’re saving up for a new wheelchair?
For college?
To put a downpayment on a house?
Hell man, you just happen to budget for once in your life so that you can have some extra money in case something bad happens?
Your benefits immediately get cut off if you’re a cent over $2,000.
And, even worse, you usually end up having to pay back every dollar the government gave you that month.
So say you get $400. If they find out you’re twenty dollars over the resource limit, you have to give them all $400 back and you undergo an investigation of your funds to see if you will continue getting money.
“What if I spend the money that day?”
Doesn’t matter. In fact, from what I can tell, people who do this are actually put under investigation for fraud.
And yes, this system literally kills people.
Remember when “Guardians of the Galaxy” came out? one of Rocket Racoon’s creators, Bill Mantlo, suffered an accident in 1992 and has irreparable brain damage.
before the movie came out, Marvel gave him an exclusive preview screening. SOme people were upset because they felt if Marvel was really wanted to thank mantlo, they should have donated money to Mantlo’s family.
Bill Mantlo’s brother had to come out and explain: If Marvel gave them monetary aid, Bill Mantlo would lose his financial assistance.
That’s so utterly depressing.
disgusting
I have friends on welfare who won’t pick up a penny in the street because they’d risk the welfare they struggled to get for 10 years.
oh look another fucked up thing in this world. let’s just add it to the list. number 63858b
My brother has been on California State SSI for autism for the last 10 years, and he absolutely has to (no joke, HAS TO) spend all 720 bucks of his SSI every month, because if he puts it in the bank he risks losing his SSI altogether.
Sometimes, at the end of the month, he has no idea what to do with his money because the whole month went by and he still has 400-ish bucks in his account, and he fucking panics because he doesn’t want to get anywhere near 2,000.
And here’s the funnest part of the story!
One day he did a huge commission on Second Life and wound up earning 1500 bucks off of it, and he told the guy to donate it 500 bucks at a time over 3 months. The guy didn’t want to, and just donated all 1500, which put my brother at 2,036 bucks.
The state IMMEDIATELY (I’m talking less than an hour) called him up to tell him over the phone that they were canceling his SSI, because they noticed he had gone over the 2,000 buck threshold. He had to tell them that someone had made a charitable donation to him and that this was not a common occurrence in any way shape or form, and upon not believing him, my mother had to call to talk to them as his legal caretaker and say basically the same thing until they called off the cancellation of his SSI money.
He also had to cancel his renter’s assistance because it put him to 1,062 a month, so if he went 30 days without spending any money they’d cancel his SSI altogether. Like, none of us in the family have any fucking clue why that regulation is in place and it’s the stupidest shit in human history.
Please, legal side of Tumblr, tell me what positive reasoning this law has?
Happy 4th of July everyone! This is what the “nation of opportunity” looks like.
There’s something called an ABLE account that can help. If you are on SSI and were diagnosed as disabled before the age of 26 you can apply for an ABLE account that will allow you to save up to $99,000. More people need to know about this!
thank you so much for this information. i’m applying for an abled account right now
I’ve been looking into SSI; I had no idea about this!
Read till the end for the important info
Reblog to literally save a disabled person’s life
This shit is why conservatives think disability is fun pampering, because they see disabled people have to come up with ways to get rid of the money and to them it looks like they must be rolling in excess.
⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️⬆️
Conservatives are going nuts oner this
Yeah. The unrealized gains tax would only apply to you if your net worth is 100mil+.
What was it John Dickinson said in 1776? People would rather protect the possibility of becoming rich than face the reality of being poor?
Shrek 2, while a cinematic masterpiece, is also an interesting look at queerness and comp het.
Fiona is married so it's time to reunite with her parents. But instead of marrying a prince, she's married to an ogre. Not just that, but she's also an ogre. (Yes everyone knew she would sometimes be an ogre but that was when she was a child, she didn't know she would be an ogre for the rest of her life, and besides once she met the right prince she would stop being an ogre. She was supposed to stop being an ogre.)
But okay they're both ogres. We can still ask about when they'll have children because even if they're ogres they can still have kids, right? That's what married princes and princesses do so naturally that's what everyone does. Even if ogres might not be great parents (I've heard that ogres eat their young, is that something you people do?) it's still something that should be discussed.
And okay you can stay in Fiona's childhood bedroom filled with all the reminders that hey, everyone thought she was just a princess and princesses marry princes. Her toys left out from the last time she played with them. The prince slays the ogre. The princess offers a token of gratitude for slaying the ogre. Fiona wrote Mrs. Fiona Charming a million times in her diary because what else was she supposed to grow up to be?
And Harold you have to fix this, your country can't be ruled by ogres. You were unfit to rule when you were a frog but I changed you, I made you better, I made you a prince. You know how this works. Think of your daughter's safety.
Shrek goes to the Fairy Godmother and oh honey, ogres don't live happily ever after. It's just not done. It hasn't happened in all of fairy tale history. You have to change the both of you to be happy. You have to present as a prince and a princess. It will be better. You'll fit in better that way. You'll be accepted that way.
no i don't want to use your ai assistant. no i don't want your ai search results. no i don't want your ai summary of reviews. no i don't want your ai feature in my social media search bar (???). no i don't want ai to do my work for me in adobe. no i don't want ai to write my paper. no i don't want ai to make my art. no i don't want ai to edit my pictures. no i don't want ai to learn my shopping habits. no i don't want ai to analyze my data. i don't want it i don't want it i don't want it i don't fucking want it i am going to go feral and eat my own teeth stop itttt
the issue with writing for yourself is that you will get sucked into rereading your own fic over and over and pretend it’s “editing,” but really you’re just reading because it’s exactly what you want to read. because you wrote it. for you.
the idea of a podcast having dynamic ads that relate to you even when the episode came out years ago is so perverse. like it's a sound file a podcast is just an audio clip. and you're telling me before the audio clip reaches my ears some algorithm is poking around in its guts adding things and taking things out. you're ravishing it. it's obscene
A good ad is embedded in the podcast like a time capsule. If your brand is successful it's free advertising for as long as it survives into the future. If it's not, at least it has a digital resting place.
There is no safe place left. The Israeli army is merciless and does not know humanity. Save us from certain death through support via PayPal wallet.
this is a verified fundraiser. please see @/el-shab-hussein‘s masterpost of vetted fundraisers. Alaa and Bilal are on the priority fundraising list there. I am also in contact with Alaa and can attest that this is real.
both of them lost their beautiful home and their livelihood due to the genocide.
update: very good news! due to a very generous donation, Alaa and Bilal reached their initial goal. they are now trying to raise enough money to evacuate the rest of their family as well.
the new goal is 25k and so far they have reached $ 16.024/$ 25.000
please share this and donate, even a small amount of money (1-2$) genuinely helps.
Sleeping Beauty AU where the princess was born on a Leap Day, so when the evil fairy curses her to prick her finger “on her 16th birthday”, her family realizes that’s not the same thing as her 16th year of life and she’ll actually be in her 60′s when it happens.
By the time the Royal Counsellor has finished speaking the King looks slightly less like he might faint and the Queen actually looks a little hopeful.
“Are you certain?” she pressed.
“Absolutely,” the Counsellor assured her. “I had one of my clerks take notes during all the fairy’s speeches for the exact purpose of studying their phrasing.”
“What,” the King blinked. “Even the good ones?”
The counsellor sniffed. “Especially the good ones.”
“So…so we can truly argue that it is the birthday that counts and not the passing of the years?” asked the Queen, colour returning to her cheeks.
“Indeed!” the Counsellor said with a smile. “So if my math is correct your daughter will be sixty-four when the curse enters into effect.”
“That is hardly what I would call a long and prosperous life!” the King protested.
“Ah, but it does give her Royal Highness the Princess a lot more time to find this contractually necessary one true love,” his Counsellor explained. “Quite a reasonable amount of time I would say, if she happens to be of a romantic and monogamous persuasion, of course.”
The royal couple looked equal parts relieved and bewildered.
“But there’s no need to worry about that just yet,” the Counsellor said comfortingly. “And besides. Times are moving on. That is the entire reason we have the High Court of Magical Justice. Why, just last month a transformed prince was kissed back to human by his platonic life partner after successful litigation against the original layer of the curse! It is riveting caselaw.”
“…this is a good thing, yes?” the King ventured.
“Very good,” the Counsellor nodded.
“Well then!” Her Majesty the Queen beamed. “In that case, I say we continue the celebrations!”
“Quite right, Your Majesty, quite right,” the Counsellor said with a bow. “If you need me, I shall be in my study.”
It is a tenet of contract law that the meanings of contractual language are construed against its drafters. I think it makes perfect sense to interpret the language of curses against their casters as well.
Better curse breaking through semantic specificity.
can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i know your sizes go all the way up to 5x. but can i please see a fat woman wearing it. yes, i heard you're woman-owned. can i please see a fat woman wearing it though. yes, i understand you donate 50% of proceeds to this charity. i still do not see a fat woman wearing it. can i please see a fat woman wearing it.
