[I had to do all of these. send halp this AU has my heart and soul]
He was still in a bit of a daze. They said something about Caboose being unconscious, about the attacks letting up across the city, but Tucker was still focused on the bomb that Doc had dropped when he first got his eyes opened.
“You’re the worst fucking medical professional ever. No wonder you were kicked out of medical school!” Church was still raving so vehemently it was almost too easy to forget just days before Tucker had watched a lifeless body hit the ground.
None of it really mattered. Grabbing his glasses from the nearby box and pulling himself into a sitting position that didn’t stretch the aching muscles of his torso, Tucker was able to finally see the nearby crate. He guessed Doc worked with what they could manage to get in the chaos and discourse of the city being invaded.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he pulled himself over to the linen lined box, but whatever it was, it hadn’t prepared him for the immediate heart stopping fear when the bundle moved.
Tiny, bright eyes turned on him, and the alien jaws opened as the little creature kicked and grabbed with his limbs.
It was like the baby already knew.
Tucker reached forward, let the four fingered hand grab his own and smiled. “Hey, little dude. I guess I’m your dad.”
Church’s eyes widened and he stared at the crack right down the center of his laptop. when a second shot skidded across the pipe right by his head, he flattened down to the asphalt entirely.
“That was my laptop, you fucking bastards!” he shouted just before he heard the crunching of boots racing across the roof behind him. He looked just enough over his shoulder to see the black blur of his leather clad heroine leaping over him and toward the gang members brave enough to still be standing on the other end of the alley.
Church sat up, watching as Tex barreled through the goons like they were a stack of bowling pins.
He cupped his hands over his mouth and screamed, “STOP USING ME AS A MEAT SHIELD! I DON’T HAVE SUPER POWERS, YOU STUPID BITCH!”
“Don’t hack bank accounts of all these mob bosses then, you cock bite!” she yelled back as she grabbed two of the men and knocked their heads together before kicking another from behind.
“I WAS DOING IT FOR YOU!” he reminded her. His eyes widened before he flattened again just to avoid the gangster thrown at his head. He sat up to yell at Tex again only to see she had gone invisible. He shook his head. “Fuck me.”
“I plan on it,” he heard her say just before he was smacked over the back of his head with an invisible hand.
The goal was to eventually have it so that everyone had their signature heist. Everyone was meant to use their heists to really stick it to the systems that had done them wrong.
Or just irritated them, which was Grif’s preference.
Like, honestly, what bagel was worth eight dollars? Especially in their shitty part of town.
And then there were just the times they were all sat around the poker table in Sarge’s basement and the door would fling open and they just knew what was about to happen.
“Do you know how much I had to pay for the laundromat!?” Donut called out, racing down the stairs, two steps at a time.
Everyone shuffled their hand. “Hi, Donut.”
Donut paused, grin bright, and he waved. “Oh, hiiiiiiii guys! Okay but listen, do you know how much the laundromat costs?”
Sarge threw a thumb toward his personal machines and grunted.
Grif just raised a brow. “Who washes clothes anymore?”
Simmons released a disgusted noise and shook his head before putting down his hand. “Ideally if you used the cleaners, it costs about two dollars if you use the one on the corner of Battle Creek and Sidewinder–”
“Oh, mine costs one fifty,” Donut explained, pulling up a chair. “You’re getting ch-e-e-eated, Simmons.”
“What’s the point of this, Donut?” Grif snapped finally.
“Right, so you put quarters in the machine, right?”
“I don’t,” Sarge announced.
“We know,” Grif and Simmons responded in unison.
“Well, there was this sweet ol’ lady at the laundromat today, and she put in almost twenty bucks in change, those machines just kept taking it. And she had to wash with my load instead. She was so distraught! I called the manager number and he said he’d give her one free wash, but it’s not his fault that she kept putting money into a broken machine after the first time. Like. How rude!”
The gang looked to each other, then back to Donut. As expected, there was a flicker in his eyes.
