So in Love With the Wrong World

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD I JUST KEEP PICTURING SOME POOR SOUL SWEATING AND STARING AT THIS TRUCK IN THEIR REAR VIS MIRROR WITH PARTY IN THE USA PLAYING IS THIS A SCENE FROM AN ACTION MOVIE

so the thing that fucks me up about elves is like, of course they’re great archers. they live several hundred years. you’d be good at anything if you could do it for several hundred years. but what really fucks me up is thinking about how elves go to war with humans and they’re like, looking at these dudes across the field and they nudge their elf friend and are like ‘oh my god Ch’adrick those dudes are like, twenty. they’re twenty Chad’rick. why are we fighting a bunch of babies’ and then they die because the babies can shoot arrows too. NOT GOOD, BUT THEY CAN. 

#it’s like you feel bad for fighting a toddler?#but then the toddler has a sword#that’s fucked up

Payback for not listening to her reasonable speech about Earth’s resources.

Enchantress: I turn you into a hideous Beast. What are the names of your servants?

The Prince: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts -

Enchantress:

I BURST OUT FUCKING LAUGHING OMG

need to be concerned to keep livestock safe

Destiny: The Authentic Hunter Experience™

I’ve seen a few variations of this concept so far, but none like this haha.

Alternatively, Krolia could totally go all in with the chant, and Keith would be like “oh come on!” etc. 

krolia: that blade used to be mine… thats why i can use it…….

keith:

krolia:

keith:

krolia: ITS ME KROLIA, YOUR MOOOOOMMMMM, KROOOLIAAAA, IM YOUR MOTHERRRRRRR 

How that scene continued probably

#Reminds me of a bird of paradise

the thing about Spock is, like, whenever he comes in for a checkup or whatever, McCoy’s all like “god these readings are so fucked but that’s normal for you so… carry on i guess”

but unless I’m wrong about this (and I could be, i’m not That Deep into the lore yet) Spock is one of the first (if not the first) documented Vulcan-Human hybrid to survive into adulthood? so there actually isn’t an established normal for him. like you can take all the readings you want when he’s at rest and seems to be in good health and extrapolate from those, you can make predictions based on the norms of Vulcan anatomy and human anatomy, but there’s so much range between the two and so little precedent that there are bound to be unknowns

like

spock has two sets of eyelids and no one else knew about this until he temporarily went blind. if an entire second set of eyelids could come as a surprise just imagine what else is going on under the surface. there are so many question marks here.

i feel like this is what McCoy thinks about at 3am

Spock: Nothing to worry about, doctor, my Superior Vulcan Physiology ™ and I are in perfect operating condition

McCoy, watching the medical tricorder go the most batshit it’s ever gone during a routine physical examination:

dropping in to say hi ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

i imagine bucky will come to think of shuri like the little sister he never had and be very protective of her

but shuri?

“t’challa, this sad white man is my new brother because you’re annoying me today”

things that canonically exist in the taz universe:

- pro wrestling - cooking shows - kids detective novels - craigslist, only it’s a literal list made by craig, a gnome - depression and nihilism so powerful it turns you and everyone in your world into a dimension-eating hivemind abomination - an entire town full of clones of a specific real-world radio personality

things that canonically don’t exist in the taz universe:

- the number 69 - cheese

theory: poe dameron is absolutely jacked and none of the other pilots can work out why because he is never in the gym and all he does is lounge around and fly and eat stupendous quantities of food, but then finn catches him lifting bb-8 up for a cuddle and works it out, because bb-8 isn’t light. 

tl;dr: poe dameron’s work out consists solely of snuggling his droid

On the evening of the Day of Story and Song, Leon hands in his resignation letter.

Madame Director is disappointed but not surprised. A fair number of bureau employees have already done so, feeling that dealing with the apocalypse wasn’t really in their contract.

She apologises and bids him well but he shakes his head and tells her no, the near-end of the world isn’t why he is quitting.

When she asks why, he points a shaking finger to where Lup is floating over her brother’s head as the IPRE crew sit around talking. And with a voice full of venom and fear he hisses loud enough for all to hear.

“Because now there is two of them.”

The human body is 70% water so we’re basically cucumbers with anxiety.

#fucked up a perfectly good cucumber is what you did

Excuse you, with the amount of salt and alcohol I consume, I am clearly a pickle.