every time I remember most(???) cishets just.. don't ever talk about sex, the more I'm reminded of like every straight cis person who has ever said the words "but won't asking for consent ruin the mood" like are y'all for real just never speaking during sex, never speaking about sex, never talking about stuff you'd like to try or what didn't work for you and what did? are you even having a good time?
this is the kind of thing that made me think I was "straight" when I was being sexually abused as a teen cause everyone I talked to seemed to also describe sex as something completely divorced from active desire and instead was just this unspeakable thing that happened to you & then you could never tell anyone what happened. like I just assumed that's what being straight/having sex was.
this is honestly such a dangerous norm & if anyone reading this just.. doesn't talk about sex with their partner: I sincerely hope you take some time to examine whether this is something you can start to do or whether you haven't because you are genuinely fearful what would happen if you spoke of it, because you might be in an unsafe situation. like this just is not healthy to live that way and puts you at tremendous risk of sexual abuse.
please talk about sex. talk about what sex (if any) you want to have, sex you don't want to have, and sex you are having. if you have a sexual partner you need to be able to communicate about sex for the safety of everyone involved.
