I was rewatching s1e3 and something finally clicked for me..

Please forgive me if this seems obvious to you. It helps me to type out my thoughts, but I'm sure I'm just an idiot and no one else needs this explained to them, lol. That said - I was always slightly confused by the emotional weight of the holy water arc during the flashback sequence. Particularly I was confused by how angry Crowley got when Aziraphale referred to their relationship as fraternizing in the 1862 fight. I mean, "to associate or form a friendship with someone, especially when one is not supposed to" is exactly what they are doing, right? So why the 80 year breakup?

Crowley says he wants the holy water for if "it" all goes pear shaped. The phrasing is necessarily vague, and could mean lots of things. Since I know what he eventually uses it for, I was thinking about it in the context of Armageddon, or maybe more generally and vaguely about Crowley not always choosing to go along with Hell, and associating with Aziraphale. But there was not much reason for Crowley to already be thinking about Armageddon back then.

As we know from the full diary entry Neil posted, the timeline of the Edinburgh entry, and the cut bookshop opening scene, it seems like Crowley and Aziraphale were spending A LOT of time together by the 1800's. When Crowley is pulled back down to Hell in 1827, he learns that Hell is paying more attention to him than he'd previously thought. Crowley realizes at this point that spending so much time with Aziraphale is actively putting him in real danger. He recognizes that, and instead of breaking things off, or seeing Aziraphale less, he doubles down. If this relationship is dangerous, then he wants the tools to fight for it.

That's what I think I didn't get about the holy water request. It's not just general insurance, it's specifically insurance for if Hell finds out about him and Aziraphale. It's also a super vulnerable request because in making it, Crowley is openly acknowledging how important their relationship is to him. Aziraphale casually brings up the arrangement at the beginning of the conversation, and that's part of it, right? Because the whole basis of their relationship is the arrangement. It continues to be the pretense under which they meet, despite the relationship clearly having developed beyond that. And the arrangement, as Crowley proposed it in 537, is born out of convenience, and the assumption that Heaven and Hell would never notice anyway.

Crowley's request for insurance breaks that facade. He's acknowledging that it's not convenient, or safe, but he wants to do it anyway, despite the risk.

Aziraphale, on the other hand, is not ready for the screen to be taken away so abruptly. To make it worse, he assumes Crowley wants the holy water as an escape, rather than a weapon. Suddenly he is confronted with both the danger their association poses, and the idea that Crowley might choose to take his own life. He can't imagine the guilt of being directly responsible for the latter.

I also think the strength of his own emotional response to the thought of loosing Crowley catches Aziraphale off guard. He hasn't admitted to himself how much he actually cares, and it scares him. Worrying about Heaven is more comfortable and familiar, so he falls back on that and switches to "If they knew I'd been... fraternizing!"

But bringing up the threat of Heaven reads to Crowley as Aziraphale saying "You may be willing to put yourself at risk for the sake of our relationship, but I am not." The word choice of "fraternizing" comes off as a dismissive and demeaning way to describe a relationship that Crowley just admitted he would risk his life for.

It's an unintentionally deep cut when Crowley is already at his most vulnerable, and so he lashes out. As far as we've seen, this is possibly the first time the Crowley has truly lashed out at Aziraphale. So yeah, 80 year breakup makes sense!

And what makes this so much worse is what happens next. Crowley reaches out again in 1941 with a dramatic gesture (rescuing Aziraphale from the Nazis, saving his books). It's clear they've missed each other. They don't discuss the fight, but it's there subtextually. Aziraphale, tentatively and thrillingly, refers to them as friends, for the first time ever. He tells Crowley that he trusts him.

And then, that very same night their worst fears are confirmed. Just when they've finally reconciled a fight over the dangers of their relationship, and just when Aziraphale has finally admitted that it is not a relationship of convenience, but genuine friendship, they are exposed. Crowley is going to face punishment from Hell, explicitly for being Aziraphale's "trusted confident", and he doesn't have insurance. If Aziraphale's trick hadn't succeeded, Crowley would have had no way to protect himself.

idk it just makes me feel things ok

Fuck.

The thing about romance is, it makes a good story.

As soon as Neil described season 2 as "quiet, gentle, romantic" I figured we'd be in for it, because as he's the first to point out, writers are liars. And the best way to deceive is with truth.

Season 2 is romantic. The trappings of romance are everywhere. Crowley tries to set up Nina and Maggie by trapping them under an awning during a rainstorm, a classic cinematic bonding technique. Aziraphale's chosen method comes from his beloved books: the ball, the dancing, appearing as a pair in public, hands held as you twirl gracefully with your heart thrilled and racing. If they can set up a sensational kiss that will unlock the happy ever after. They've lived on earth, they've studied the tropes, they know how romance works.

The problem is a story is only a story.

so you're anthony j. crowley, long-time exile from heaven and recent exile from hell, and you've finally figured out that the mess of overwhelming and infuriating and intoxicating feelings you've been harboring for the only being in the universe you've ever been able to rely on might, whoopsies, be something a little bit like love. but not love the way you remember heaven loved you, or the way they told you god loved you (they lied), but love like the humans do it: messy, and awkward, and incongruously infinite, and so, so fragile.

and, well. okay, you think. this'll be horrible. embarrassing for both of us, probably. but i'll tell him. you've never been a coward, no matter what the other demons might say. screw your courage to the sticking place, or whatever. macbeth. aziraphale loved that one.

so you talk yourself into it, you gather every scrap of courage and honesty you've got left, and you say, all right, angel, i've got something to say, only aziraphale's got something to say, too, and--

aziraphale doesn't love you back.

or. he does, but he loves the ghost of the angel you used to be, not the person you've made yourself since. he loves you, but he loves you like god did--loves you good, and quiet, and dull. he loves you without your grief, or your anger, without even that first bite of the apple. he wants you like that again, he says. defanged, like the Antichrist's domesticated hellhound.

(you worked for hell for a long time, and for god for a long time before that. you're intimately familiar with what it is to offer someone everything they've ever wanted, and then to twist it, to mutilate it, into an unrecognizable hell of their own choosing. you're not sure why it surprises you anymore. you're not sure why you keep letting the surprises hurt.)

and so you do the thing you've done since the beginning, because you've never been able to stop yourself: you push. you push hard, and you grab him, and he's so angry and you kiss him and you don't think about it, don't think about it, this is the most important temptation of your life, the only one that's ever mattered--

and he forgives you.

so you leave. at least that way you can do it before he does. you've always been a step ahead and to the left; stupid to think this would ever be different. stupid to think he might choose you, with all of heaven and earth spread out in front of him. nothing lasts forever, not even the stars.

he told you that a long time ago.

So you're Aziraphale, angel of the Eastern Gate, lately angel of an antique bookshop in Soho, even more lately exile of Heaven, and it doesn't seem like you've ever gotten anything right. You thought you knew what Truth was because it was written down, but when it comes to living with that Truth you find that you can't; you can't allow Heaven OR Hell to hurt people like that. Your reliable black and white turns to shades of grey, over and over again until you've lost everything you ever believed in-- except Crowley.

Crowley crept up on your heart; you hardly noticed until he handed you a valise of books in the ruins of a church, but from that moment on he became your anchor. It scares you, because he's supposed to be everything you stand against, but you figured out a long time ago that he's kinder than Hell, more merciful than Heaven, and better by far than either of them. It scares you more because your association puts him in terrible danger. You get notes when Heaven is upset with you, but he gets the kind of correction you successfully keep yourself from thinking about until you take his place in Hell and see what they do to their own kind, just for fun.

After that, you think: never again. You don't know much for certain anymore, but you swear on everything you are that he'll never go back to Hell.

At first, it seems like you've gotten away with it. You're spending time together, and he's taking off his glasses more, and you call him every day and he comes... maybe he's still a little distant, a little tense, but that's to be expected and you're getting there. Baby steps, you tell yourself. After all, he waited for you. You want him to feel safe. You need him to be safe.

Then suddenly he's talking to a demon. He moves his plants into his car and won't say why, claims it's a new gardening technique but you think he's lying. Gabriel shows up, and you start to realize you've been living in a fantasy world-- Heaven and Hell won't leave you alone. There's no escape from them, and they will never stop. The bookshop doesn't keep you safe. The Bentley doesn't keep you safe. It seems like demons are everywhere, and you're so frightened; you've never been brave. (Oh, you do what you have to do when you're back's against the wall but that's different; you've been terrified every time.)

Demons kill one of your human acquaintances, a shopkeeper whose only crime was attending the party you threw (because you thought some romantic dancing would finally make Crowley see what you've been trying to tell him for four years now. Selfish. Stupid. Another thing you got wrong). You've put the humans in danger, you've put Crowley in danger, and there's nowhere to hide. There are angels and demons in your home, threatening your very existence.

You realize it's hopeless, that you'll only get a little more time, and you look at Crowley because no matter what happens, no matter how soon they take everything from you, you need him to know that you love him. You have to tell him now.

But then-- in walks Metatron. He effectively declaws the angels, and he offers you a sweet drink, and maybe he's not such a bad guy after all. He offers you safety-- but not just for you. He says you can keep Crowley safe too. If you're both angels again, and you're in charge, nobody can hurt you. More importantly, nobody can hurt Crowley. He'll never have to go back to Hell. You'll never be parted again.

Of course it's not exactly what you wanted, but... shades of grey, right? Crowley taught you that. Sometimes you have to compromise. And it doesn't matter, really, if Crowley's an angel or a demon; there's really no difference between your kind and his (Crowley taught you that, too).

You're so excited to tell him. You can finally be together. You can protect the humans, help the world grow and flourish, and have the power to change Heaven for the better. Okay, it means losing the bookshop, but that's just... things. You'd give it all up for the chance to be with Crowley forever.

He says no.

He doesn't want to go with you. He doesn't trust you to make a plan that will help you both. He's so angry. But then he says he wants to run away together, and you have a flash of hope: he gets it, now, finally. "Come with me!" you say.

He puts his glasses on. Tells you, "Good luck."

But... "I need you!" You're actually begging. Please Crowley. All I've ever wanted was to protect you. And protect this Earth.

He throws it back in your face. You've spent so many years thinking about how to keep Heaven and Hell from destroying you, and finally you have a chance, and he says... he says he understands better than you do.

Fine, then.

You start to cry. You'll have to go alone; you can't stay here and continue to put him in danger. It's what you've always done when it seems that Hell is closing in on him-- you distance yourself to save him. It's the only thing you can do now.

He kisses you. It's full of rage and hurt and bitterness. You can taste salt on his lips. And it scares you, how much you want it anyway. You've wanted it since 1941, after all.

But.

You've imagined this a thousand times, and each time it was soft. It was the start of something, not the end.

You want to tell him you love him, but what does it matter now? So you say the only thing you can say: "I forgive you".

I forgive you for taking the chance to be an "us" away.

they’ve had six thousand years of practice of cancelling each other out, of course their love confessions did exactly the same thing.

DAMN way to sum up season 2 in a nutshell....!!

I feel like Aziraphale and Crowley will be forced to speak to each other by Nina and Maggie and so they will sit in one room locked up by them and they’re going to be absolutely fuming and still refusing to talk

But they will finally snap and start fighting through which they will mention all the misunderstandings over the years

YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE HOMELESS

IT WAS NOT YOUR PROBLEM

YES IT WAS I’D NEVER LET YOU LIVE IN A CAR

YOU TOLD ME I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

I NEVER SAID THAT

YOU CALLED ME ONE OF THE BAD GUYS

THAT’S NOT… THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU AND YOU TOLD ME NOTHING LASTS FOREVER!

I MEANT THE BOOKSHOP! I CHOSE YOU OVER THE BOOKSHOP!

YOU WANTED ME TO BE AN ANGEL LIKE I WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH THE WAY I AM

I WANTED YOU TO BE HAPPY AND SAFE! YOU NEVER TOLD ME GABRIEL WANTED ME TO SHUT UP AND DIE!

I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU!

I WANTED TO PROTECT YOU TOO!

6 thousand years of misunderstandings until they stop and need to catch a breath because fucking hell and Aziraphale says fuck this and grabs Crowley the way he grabbed him and kisses him

I didn’t know I need Aziraphale to say Fuck so madly after reading this post.

Another reason why Aziraphale would want to go to heaven is the Book of Life

During all the season we were told about the Book of Life. All the season Aziraphale and Crowley were threatened with it and it scared the shit out of Crowley.

And you know what would eliminate that threat? Getting hold of that book.

And you know who has the power over that book? The ruler of heaven, exactly the place Aziraphale was offered.

Also...

Aziraphale is a book collector.

“I have in my possession... the Book of Life! Oh, I know it’s meant to be used as a threat to keep occult and ethereal beings in line, but there’s only one and keeping it in my private collection prevents that!” 

I'm just laughing at the idea of Aziraphale stealing the Book of Life to hide in his bookshop and Metronome (derogatory) sending an army to get it back. Aziraphale reluctantly surrenders at the end of a nasty battle and hands over the book. Angel Soldier #3 takes it back up to Heaven, hands it over to Metronome, who opens it up....

...only to find an unloaded Derringer tucked inside hollowed out, blank pages.

I have known some special-collections librarians who were just about this feral.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee...

Listening to the soundtrack today and god. David Arnold is an evil genius. The opening track for the opening scene in particular. Before the Beginning.

It starts out so soft and beautiful and light and delicate. Then when Crowley says the magic words, it explodes into this beautiful, choral exaltation of the act of creation. The whole piece underscores the scene beautifully. But it's something near the end that I want to talk about.

I clocked this on first watch because it turns the entire scene on a dime and it hasn't left my head since. The very end, where Crowley says "I wouldn't worry... How much trouble can I get into just for asking a few questions?"

This moment is so perfect. Crowley says the words that instantly remind us of one of his most iconic moments from season 1, his wings go dark, and the lighthearted, fantastic joy from the scene curdles into something terrible, and your heart sinks like a stone--because there's the tolling of a bell in the background.

There's a phrase that I keep coming back to because of this. "You can't unring a bell." To me, that bell signifies that this is irreversible. We already know the future, of course, but on first and subsequent views I'm just so charmed by Aziraphale and Crowley's first meeting--Starmaker Crowley especially-- that the moment hits each time. He's going to pay a terrible toll, and he's completely ignorant of it, and yet there is nothing we can do to save him.

BUT!! What I didn't clock, was that the bell is used again at the very end! When Crowley is kissing Aziraphale! Others have already pointed out how similar the pieces are, but the lack of triumph in the music at the end, but I didn't consciously clock the bell in the same way as I did at the beginning.

(For the record, it happens just after Aziraphale touches Crowley's shoulder, and then it cuts back to showing us Crowley's face, and then the bell rings, just fractions of a second before they separate.)

A bell cannot be unrung. An angel cannot be unkissed.

This is something irreversible. It's not just words they can vouchsafe or deny as it pleases them. This is something that will change the both of them forever, will change their relationship forever.

Crowley is going to pay a terrible toll, and there is nothing we can do to save him.

So i have not read the Big Theory Doc and do not plan on it, but had some thinky thoughts myself.

Theory for why some people feel parts of the minisodes feel off below the cut

don't you just love it when your comfort characters need comforting

How it starts vs. how it ends (inspired by this post by @yamisnuffles)

#same conversation over and over. #inevitability. futility. love for love's sake. #why would an immortal learn to stop time? unless he wants to delay an end he knows is coming? (@lenaellsi)

Why There’ll Never Be Another Good Omens 2 Experience

The strangest thing happened after a few days post my watching of S2. I got a wave of real, bittersweet sadness.

Not due to the obvious – I was dealing with that too, but with more excitement than anything – but because I realized something, as a writer and consumer of media. I realized that it’s unlikely I’ll ever get a media experience close to what I experienced at the end of Good Omens 2. Because really, its setup was absolutely unparalleled – in general, and for myself personally.

Lift your hand up if you need for the roles to reverse in S3 at least for a moment

Crowley always protects, gives, saves, gives in

I need Aziraphale to do that in S3

I need him to just give in because something would make Crowley happy even if it isn’t Aziraphale’s favourite thing. I need him to protect him. I need him to save him. I need him to be more of a giver. I need him to show Crowley that he is his everything.

I need Crowley to feel so bloody loved that he won’t know what to do with himself.

Yes! I was just realizing that this is why Crowley waits by the Bentley. He knows it’s time for Aziraphale to be the one who comes back, the one who steps up and protects what he cares about most, the one who chooses our side over any offers of power.

I loved the fact that he waited there because it was his “this is NOT me leaving this time”.

He confessed, he kissed, he waited. He told Aziraphale to not bother when he tried to forgive him. He switched their roles.

I genuinely think this is part of the reason why Aziraphale returns to Heaven. The worst has never quite happened to him, he's always been rescued at the last minute (almost always by Crowley). Even when his faith almost broke during the scene with the Metatron in s1, he could still walk back from it because Armageddon *didn't* happen, the plan is Ineffable, all's well that ends well. Until he's in a position where Crowley can not rescue him (from his own decisions or any external force) I honestly don't think he'll be able to move on from his constant "but Heaven/we're the good guys!" mindset. And frankly for it to get to that point I think Crowley is going to have to be in danger that Aziraphale and only Aziraphale can get him out of. Even saving Earth/humanity wouldn't quite be enough on its own, he/Heaven could still find some way to justify it (God's Great Ineffable Plan).

Aziraphale's faith has always been a cornerstone of his character, which is both his strength and weakness. Crowley knows that, and knows now there's nothing he can do about it. He can't rescue Aziraphale from his own convictions; only Aziraphale himself can do that.

Until the choice is between Heaven and Crowley's destruction, Aziraphale will stay stuck in the same patterns he's always been in.

My biggest criticism for good omens 2 is that this didn’t happen

I need you all to know that in the Hungarian translation of Good Omens, Crowley calls Aziraphale 'angyalkám' which translates to 'my little angel' and this term of endearment is solely used between lovers

which had me curious about other languages and in fact Crowley calls Aziraphale a variation of 'my angel' in other languages, in french I believe it's 'l’angelot/angelot' which means little angel/soft angel

During the confession scene, Crowley says “we complete each other, and we have tried to deny this for our entire existence” followed by “I long for something else...”

This kills the me

There will never be any official dub or subtitles for Latvian I'm sure, but in the novel Crowley does call Aziraphale "my angel" near the beginning.