mouthporn.net
@ashfae on Tumblr
Avatar

A Conspiracy of Cartographers

@ashfae / ashfae.tumblr.com

"What are you playing at?" "Words. Words. They're all we have to go on." | American wench living in Scotland. | She/her | Little too smitten with Good Omens at present | I just find things that seem interesting or shiny or entertaining and then babble about them | A03 | RP
Avatar

The thing about romance is, it makes a good story.

As soon as Neil described season 2 as "quiet, gentle, romantic" I figured we'd be in for it, because as he's the first to point out, writers are liars. And the best way to deceive is with truth.

Season 2 is romantic. The trappings of romance are everywhere. Crowley tries to set up Nina and Maggie by trapping them under an awning during a rainstorm, a classic cinematic bonding technique. Aziraphale's chosen method comes from his beloved books: the ball, the dancing, appearing as a pair in public, hands held as you twirl gracefully with your heart thrilled and racing. If they can set up a sensational kiss that will unlock the happy ever after. They've lived on earth, they've studied the tropes, they know how romance works.

The problem is a story is only a story.

Avatar
reblogged

last google search, go

um. Tag four people.

what do they make sewer tunnels out of

Capital of Georgia

(My dad has a magnet that says Tbilisi on it and I was curious if it was a typo or not)

house election results

i know, very boring

wordle

whaaaaat I’m totally not doing daily wordles just to test myself pshhhh who would do that not me not cool people like me nuh-uh

Avatar
olithewitch

Jas stardew valley

I really like stardew valley and I needed to know her likes and dislikes because it was her birthday

stardew valley wiki

I needed to check where to catch a specific fish for a quest

Avatar
nikidykeachu

Estúpido cupido de celly campello letra

Forgor the lyrics 2 the song</3

Avatar
bumblee27

Where can I watch tintin and the golden fleece?

It's not even funny I can't find this stupid film ANYWHERE, I've downloaded like 5 streaming services that have said they have it and then proceeded to not have it. I don't even care if it's an English dub anymore I will freaking learn French for the sole purpose of watching this film

42 dollars in pounds

i wanted to buy the sherlock holmes comic by somebody on tumblr i forgot but it was nearly 40 quid with shipping 😭😭

i can't remember who my other mutuals are rn

Can you get your learners permit at 15

“can i give my dog coriander powder”

If you know what this is regarding from last night, you know 🤷‍♀️ lol

Btw the answer is YES and it’s good for their digestion!

Tagging @queer-reader-07 @bowtiepastabitch @embervoices and @ghostsparrow but no pressure of course

Avatar
ghostsparrow

"Do shrimps have legs"

I am very tired and just wanted to make a joke about my partner's cat who I'm starting to give nicknames to. No additional context :)

Avatar
haemey

"Dramatic voices program Berlin"

Sounded cool when I saw an ad for it. Turned out to be a pay-to-sing with a medium four digit fee.

Hell nah.

"sunday morning velvet underground lyrics"

because

"Sunday morning and I'm falling I've got a feeling I don't want to know"

"Vans Filmore Tartan"

Can't get rid of my tartan obsession and was searching for a pair of fitting shoes

Avatar
di-42

Jesus' words to Lazarus.

In case anyone was wondering, in English they sound much less dramatic than in Italian. Takes the fun out of it, really.

Avatar
snognes

"Teaching in [the name of a school]"

Thinking about my future job ^^'

>>Pierre Auguste Cott The Storm<<

Cause there was a piece of fanart posted here on tumblr based on that, and I wanted to see what the original looked like:

Post with the fanart:

What is Domaine de Canton?

Turns out it’s a ginger based liqueur.

"common biblical male names" because I decided Sandalphon was gonna be a last name in my current WIP.

There were some considerably spicier searches earlier today!

"Books on the Pendle Witches"

Because my wolf in sheep's clothing will be living in Lancashire.

Avatar
musegnome

Duck Duck Go search, not google, but: “cinnamon hot chocolate recipe”

(Years ago I had an amazing one that got lost in a move. I think this search might have turned up a similar one… definitely the same ingredients and prep style)

That looks delicious Muse! thanks for the tag. My last search was "1941 showgirl" images for fic reasons.

Avatar
scrapbramble

Laz 👀

"Peanuts Lucy psychiatric help comic"

because as a kid I had a little book of early Peanuts comics, and I remember reading the original comic in which Lucy set up her stand and was curious whether I could find it online. (I couldn't)

"Grovesnor Square"

And it wasn't even for fic reasons!

the lyrics to this song, which I’m thinking of stealing for a fic title:

Avatar
ashfae

"Names beginning with God"

Yes, for a story in which God is Sir Not Appearing In This Fic, of course. Didn't want to do Godot or Godwin again. ;) Going with Godefridus as it apparently means "The place between time and space" (probably it doesn't really but I love it anyway) though I was very tempted by Goda, or "One Who Brings Cows."

Avatar
Anonymous asked:

If none of them married, how desperate would the Bennett girls actually have been?

Well the only dowry they have is £50 apiece from their mother’s small inheritance, per year; so that’s a total of £250 generated by Mrs. Bennet’s inherited investments per annum.

The Dashwoods (four women) are living on £500 a year when they are forced to live in Barton Cottage (with good-will making the rent presumably ridiculously low thanks to Sir John Middleton’s good nature, to say nothing of all the dinners and outings he invites the ladies to, which will help them economize on housekeeping costs for heavier meals.)

So there would be six Bennet women left to live on half as much as the Dashwoods are barely scraping by on. £250 is roughly considered enough to keep ONE gentleman at a barely-genteel level of leisure (presuming he does not keep a horse or estate or have any major expenses beyond securing his own lodgings/clothes/meals at a level becoming of a gentleman.)

None of the Bennet girls have been educated well enough for them to be governesses to support themselves, so…yes, their situation would heavily rely on mega-charity from others to just help them survive, much less maintain them in the lifestyle they’ve been accustomed to. The Dashwood women have NO social life beyond the outings provided by Sir John and the offer of Mrs. Jennings to host the older girls in London–otherwise they’d be stuck in their cottage, meeting absolutely no eligible men, creating a cycle of being poor and unmarried and too poor to meet anyone with money they could marry.

If the Bennet girls don’t at least have ONE of them marry well enough to help the rest before their father dies, they are really, truly, deeply fucked.

They may joke about beautiful Jane being the saviour of the family, but…it’s true. Mr. Bennet failed his daughters several times over in A) presuming he’d have a son, B) not saving money independently from his income to support his family after his death when it became clear he wasn’t going to have a son, C) not educating them well enough to enable them to support themselves in even in the disagreeable way of being a governess, D) not making any effort to escort his daughters to London or even local assemblies to help their matrimonial chances because he just doesn’t feel like it, E) throwing up his hands and shrugging when faced with the crises of Mr. Collins and Wickham.

Much as we are relieved on a romantic level that Mr. Bennet’s support of Elizabeth saves her from parental pressure to accept Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet is NOT A DICK for pushing for the match, because on a material level it very much means they get to KEEP THEIR HOUSE and gain a connection to the powerful patron Lady Catherine de Bourgh, which could be VERY advantageous for the other unmarried girls.

And the scandal of Wickham very nearly scuppers the chances of ANY of the other girls, and Wickham is a further DRAIN on the family finances, not a man who is going to substantially be able to support them. It is SUCH a disaster, and of course there’s not much Mr. Bennet can do until they are found, but he’s away in London and doing…what, exactly? Mr. Gardiner takes over and manages everything and Mr. Bennet seems happy to just let him.

Mr. Bennet does the ABSOLUTE LEAST, and actively damages his children’s futures by his inaction AND by his one action to support Lizzie’s individual needs being prioritized over the collective gain, which…I mean, Lizzie is going to be JUST as homeless and destitute as her sisters when he dies, so much good being Dad’s Favourite is going to do her. :/

Avatar
Avatar
hillnerd

£50 is around £4200 now, so about £21,000 for 6 women to live on today for the Bennets.

The Dashwoods at £500/year are at about £42,000 for 4 women to live on today.

Mr bennet definitely messed up, and mrs b deserves way more respect for the immense amount of pressure she’s under

I wrote an entire essay about this my last year of school, and my teacher thought I had lost the plot. He was my most hated teacher for other reasons, and this did not help his case.

I am Here for the Mrs. Bennet Defense Squad. Yes, she can be unsubtle in a major way, but she is also terrified of the alternative outcome. However, for all her lack of tact, she is also hella strategic, as demonstrated by setting up an “oh no I’m stuck in your house” romance trope situation for Jane and Bingley. She’s a clever lady, and she sees exactly what kind of shitty situation they’re in, and she can’t get her husband to do anything.

It’s really easy to read Mrs. Bennet’s inability to be subtle about anything as a sign of stupidity or inability to understand “society” (and the Bingley sisters are inclined to do this and link it to her very middle-class family because of classism) but she is literally panicking at all times about a very real concern, and everyone is just rolling their eyes. No compassion for her poor nerves indeed!

Ok so I started to scroll by. But the problem with the Mrs. Bennet discourse is that it can too quickly swing too far in the wrong direction. Yes, everything about this is (mostly) true. The Bennet women are in a really delicate position. Their safety and continued financial security hangs on Mr. Bennet’s faintest breath. It is in fact a conversation point several times that the girls are not educated enough to serve as governesses, but are of too high a social status to expect marriage to a tradesman. 

The problem is that while Mrs. Bennet is certainly the only one in the Bennet household taking this issue seriously, she’s also gone too far in the opposite direction. The point of the Bennet marriage is that it’s bad for both of them. Mr. Bennet married a beautiful, foolish woman and then didn’t live according to the economy he would have had to in order to leave her a tidy sum once he died. Mrs. Bennet held herself safe under the happy expectation that she would produce a son, who would inherit the estate and provide for her in her own age.

Once it became clear that wouldn’t happen (and remember Lydia is only fifteen when the book opens, so Mrs. Bennet might only have given up the idea that she would have a son possibly a decade before, when Jane was about twelve) Mrs. Bennet had to focus on her daughters’ marriages in order to ensure the family’s well-being. The problem is that she overcompensated beyond what the society she lives in found good form. 

Mrs. Bennet is a foolish, vain, nervous woman who is often called out in the narrative as an older woman with Lydia’s naturally foolish and selfish character. Her husband long ago realized he’d someone for looks who he was incompatible with personality-wise. The readers (especially modern readers) see his neglect of family affairs readily, and his gentle (and at times less than gentle) mockery of his family (particularly his wife and his three youngest daughters). But importantly, Mrs. Bennet also is meant to come across as a lesson to the reader. A silly woman who married above her station (it’s mentioned several times she secured the better marriage compared to her own sister) Mrs. Bennet doesn’t have the social graces she should have been expected to, as her husband’s wife.

This is an important plot point. Raising Mrs. Bennet up as the only Bennet aware of their impending doom as Mr. Bennet ages is important and adds depth to her matrimonial scheming on her daughters’ behalves. But vitally the way she goes about her work causes Mr. Darcy to hold the greatest of disdain for her and her family. It’s that disdain that helps induce him to persuade Mr. Bingley to leave Netherfield Park. This isn’t truly questioned by Elizabeth, who understands that her mother’s over-eager grasping immediately raised Mr. Darcy’s concerns. Remember, at this time there was an abundance of women who were deliberately setting out to marry men of good fortune, and desperate to make themselves amiable enough to secure that marriage, regardless of their true feelings. Mr. Darcy (and honestly Mr. Bingley too should have known better) would have spent his entire later youth and then adulthood on the alert for women whose intentions were only for his wealth, and not for his happiness. That’s important, especially after we see the great care Mr. Darcy takes with Pemberly and his dependents. 

Mrs. Bennet’s desperation is understandable. Her character (grasping, foolish, too needy and nervous to understand the social graces she must display to appear acceptable to men of the station she wants her daughters to marry) isn’t virtuous. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are intended by the narrative to stand as examples for what happens when people who are not of similar or compatible characters marry. Mr. Bennet grew so disillusioned with his wife that his reaction to his family’s financial insecurity is to make jokes and wave his wife’s concerns away as foolishness. He’s not really concerned with the future of his female family members. Mrs. Bennet on the other hand, doted on for her beauty then ignored and trivialized after that beauty lost it’s attraction, is left to indulge her worst impulses as she tries to snap up eligible young men for her daughters. Importantly, Mr. Wickham easily fools her as to his true character, even after he runs off with her daughter. 

While we look at Mrs. Bennet’s desperation and find it both pitiable and understandable, that doesn’t mean that she’s the better person in the marriage.  These two people could have been better than who they became as they aged. The problem is that in their youth they found a spouse who wasn’t compatible with them, and their own character deficiencies were magnified in the marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are intended as a warning to the reader over marrying for shallow reasons (beauty for him, money for her). Character matters in a marriage, as does mutual compatibility. 

I feel like it’s important also to acknowledge that while, yes, Mrs. Bennet pushing Mr. Collins on Elizabeth is completely understandable from a material point of view, it’s also setting up a repeat of the Bennet’s marriage that Mr. Bennet absolutely does not want for any of his daughters. Not just because Elizabeth would be unhappy, but because she’d be unhappy for the same reasons Mr. Bennet is unhappy with Mrs. Bennet.

Mr. Collins is repeatedly shown to be essentially the masculine equivalent of Mrs. Bennet: obsequious, social climbing, and utterly incapable of conducting himself in society without embarrassing himself and anyone connected to him. Charlotte is only able to handle the situation by either a) manipulating him so as to avoid him as much as possible or b) maintaining a stone cold poker face at all times:

When Mr. Collins said anything of which his wife might reasonably be ashamed, which certainly was not seldom, she involuntarily turned her eye on Charlotte. Once or twice she could discern a faint blush; but in general Charlotte wisely did not hear.

This is an objectively shitty situation for Charlotte to be in, but it’s one she went into voluntarily, as the benefits (namely independence in running the house and having space of her own) outweigh the detriments for her. Lizzy would not be doing it voluntarily.

Sure, Mrs. Bennet’s primary concern is making sure her daughters are not in poverty, but Mr. Bennet’s is making sure they’re not trapped in unhappy marriages for the rest of their lives. In both Jane and Lizzy’s cases, he is only happy when he believes that they’re choosing husbands of good character and compatible personality, and extremely upset if he thinks they’re not. Compare his initial reaction to Bingley’s proposal (which comes after spending significant time with him, during which he confirms his good character and disposition) with Darcy’s (which doesn’t):

Bingley was punctual to his appointment; and he and Mr. Bennet spent the morning together, as had been agreed on. The latter was much more agreeable than his companion expected. There was nothing of presumption or folly in Bingley that could provoke his ridicule, or disgust him into silence; and he was more communicative, and less eccentric, than the other had ever seen him. […] He then shut the door, and, coming up to her, claimed the good wishes and affection of a sister. Elizabeth honestly and heartily expressed her delight in the prospect of their relationship. They shook hands with great cordiality; and then, till her sister came down, she had to listen to all he had to say of his own happiness, and of Jane’s perfections; and in spite of his being a lover, Elizabeth really believed all his expectations of felicity to be rationally founded, because they had for basis the excellent understanding and super-excellent disposition of Jane, and a general similarity of feeling and taste between her and himself. […] Mrs. Bennet could not give her consent, or speak her approbation in terms warm enough to satisfy her feelings, though she talked to Bingley of nothing else, for half an hour; and when Mr. Bennet joined them at supper, his voice and manner plainly showed how really happy he was. Not a word, however, passed his lips in allusion to it, till their visitor took his leave for the night; but as soon as he was gone, he turned to his daughter and said,— “Jane, I congratulate you. You will be a very happy woman.” Jane went to him instantly, kissed him, and thanked him for his goodness. “You are a good girl,” he replied, “and I have great pleasure in thinking you will be so happily settled. I have not a doubt of your doing very well together. Your tempers are by no means unlike. You are each of you so complying, that nothing will ever be resolved on; so easy, that every servant will cheat you; and so generous, that you will always exceed your income.”

Versus:

Her father was walking about the room, looking grave and anxious. “Lizzy,” said he, “what are you doing? Are you out of your senses to be accepting this man? Have not you always hated him?” How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her from explanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward to give; but they were now necessary, and she assured him, with some confusion, of her attachment to Mr. Darcy. “Or, in other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to be sure, and you may have more fine clothes and fine carriages than Jane. But will they make you happy?” “Have you any other objection,” said Elizabeth, “than your belief of my indifference?” “None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him.” “I do, I do like him,” she replied, with tears in her eyes; “I love him. Indeed he has no improper pride. He is perfectly amiable. You do not know what he really is; then pray do not pain me by speaking of him in such terms.” “Lizzy,” said her father, “I have given him my consent. He is the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse anything, which he condescended to ask. I now give it to you, if you are resolved on having him. But let me advise you to think better of it. I know your disposition, Lizzy. I know that you could be neither happy nor respectable, unless you truly esteemed your husband, unless you looked up to him as a superior. Your lively talents would place you in the greatest danger in an unequal marriage. You could scarcely escape discredit and misery. My child, let me not have the grief of seeing you unable to respect your partner in life. You know not what you are about.” Elizabeth, still more affected, was earnest and solemn in her reply; and, at length, by repeated assurances that Mr. Darcy was really the object of her choice, by explaining the gradual change which her estimation of him had undergone, relating her absolute certainty that his affection was not the work of a day, but had stood the test of many months’ suspense, and enumerating with energy all his good qualities, she did conquer her father’s incredulity, and reconcile him to the match. “Well, my dear,” said he, when she ceased speaking, “I have no more to say. If this be the case, he deserves you. I could not have parted with you, my Lizzy, to anyone less worthy.

Mr. Bennet clearly isn’t going to forbid Lizzy from marrying for money rather than love – this is what he initially thinks is going on, and he gives consent to both Mr. Darcy and Lizzy anyway – but he really, REALLY doesn’t want her to. He KNOWS what happens if you jump into a bad marriage for the wrong reasons, and he is going to try to talk her out of it by any means possible. He has to be convinced that her attraction isn’t a passing crush or a coldblooded bid for Darcy’s wealth, but something real and capable of being maintained over time, and ONLY THEN is he truly okay with it.

Like, Mrs. Bennet’s concerns are understandable and rational given her situation and that of the family, but so too are Mr. Bennet’s given his own situation.

I swear I learn more about literature on Tumblr than I ever learned in high school

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
klapollo

Obviously this is an adorable bit but I'm so struck by how different this is from so many little kid shows today like.......the muted colors. no background noise. no sound effects. you can literally hear Jim Henson breathing between his lines. Ernie is talking very slowly, meandering, letting the kids digest the info. it's a full minute before you get the payoff of it all. man

I'm in love with the stupid baby puppet I want to see her grow up strong and healthy

Avatar
Avatar
wheelie-sick

“oh, I live in a desert and-”

“wow that must be so terrible” “deserts are so ugly” “I would never want to live in a wasteland like that” “it’s just empty nothingness”

wishing 10,000 exploding hammers upon you

behold New Mexico

[ID 1: tall, snowcapped rocky mountains rising above a plain filled with desert scrub
ID 2: brightly colored banded cliff walls of several mesas climbing their way into mountains
ID 3: a desert prairie
ID 4: colorful hoodoos against a twilight sky
ID 5: white sand dunes as far as the eye can see
ID 6: a collection of hoodoos against a stormy sky at sunset
ID 7: a juniper tree standing with a cliff wall in the background
ID 8: several juniper trees on a rocky landscape]

And the Mojave!

Have some Utah! too.

And those last two should be a reminder that humans have been living and thriving in the desert for thousands of years!

Avatar
snommelp

My beloved Sonoran Desert

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
kedreeva

Following the author of The Last Unicorn on Facebook is the only thing that makes being on that site worthwhile.

Avatar
scarefox

it’s in the gravity falls directors commentaries, and I trust his take

thank him while he’s busting his ass for you and you sit there complaining goddamnit

You should see it. It isn't worth the risk of not seeing it if it's something that you might even remotely enjoy. Especially based on what one person says, no matter how much you admire or trust them.

He can dislike it, but if the unicorn had been buddy-movie grateful, disney-movie emotional, it would have been a very different, very shallow, MUCH worse movie. Like just, really really bad.

She's not bitchy or catty or cruel, she literally does not understand humans or their drive or their big emotions. She doesn't feel love, she doesn't feel regret. She doesn't have ambition, she doesn't desire or benefit from change. She barely wants anything. She's complete by herself. She is content.

She can't be ungrateful unless you expect what is essentially a...a kind of immortal spirit, a place, a forest in the shape of a creature, to be in any way at all human. She can't be a deity, that's an extremely human concept, but she is not a normal living thing in any regard whatsoever.

The entire point of the movie is change, and truth. Front to back, it is change and truth, and the destruction of illusions, and surviving it, and the toll that takes, and the gifts it can bring. It's full of tremendous and intense, unthinkable, incomprehensible, destructive, renewing, life-altering change. And also truth, and the unraveling of illusions, which are everywhere in the narrative, and are almost always dangerous, or hiding something that is.

The unicorn unravels everything around her by being the catalyst for change, and it is incredibly destructive. Things come apart around her. It leads to good things, usually, but it breaks everything first.

She changes on the road, she learns to care about humans enough to help them, to save their lives, and that is very much an expression of gratitude.

She just doesn't care about the wizard questing for greatness. It is irrelevant. Glory is useless. And she's right.

She doesn't experience a fundamental alteration of her nature until she is forcibly changed against her will to survive, and it is not a positive change. It ruins her. It is a tremendous trauma that leaves her empty and broken, and eventually, partly and unnaturally human. She keeps losing what she was, and it is tragic and painful to watch. Why would she be grateful for that? She wishes she had died.

She finally develops something like love, but only after she has forgotten much of what she was. Then she desperately grasps onto it as something to replace what she lost.

Her encroaching humanity is killing what she was (her first response to being human was absolute visceral terror at having a mortal, and thus actively dying, body) a trauma response that allows her to survive, to hide. An illusion.

Love is an attempt to make peace with it all, and it is beautiful enough, but also empty. You are never meant to cheer for it. Only feel for them both. It's a sticking point for some people that the romance isn't done well. It isn't meant to feel right. They leaned on it a little hard in the movie, the book does it better, but it was a "kids' movie" (it isn't) so that was a little inevitable.

Change destroys everything, and it breaks everything.

At the end, when she changes back, who is it she appears to, to acknowledge what happened? And who is it she visits and touches and loves and says goodbye to? She is grateful.

The movie/book does exactly what it set out to do, and I have to say that I don't necessarily trust the judgment of people who dismiss it out of hand.

Yes, I saw it young, in the theater, so I imprinted, but it has been a radically different movie at different parts of my life. I've identified with every character in different phases of my life, so it has had the depth to stand up to easily over a hundred viewings by a half dozen versions of myself. I know people have their issues with the style of animation which, whatever, I think it's gorgeous and I also don't consider that a reason to dismiss an otherwise good movie or show (I really dislike the animation style of Gravity Falls, actually, it bores the crap out of me, but that isn't the point). But the story itself is not like anything else I've ever seen.

If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't. But wanting her to be grateful and kind is...really super duper extremely not the point, and would actually be antithetical to it and ruin the story as it is. And it's missing the ways she expresses those things. If that's what you take away, that she is somehow morally deficient, you literally did not understand it, or you haven't seen it, or you have a take so radically divergent from mine I am probably incapable of understanding it.

It is so, so good.

Avatar
dr-paine

It's currently a 'free with ads' watch on YouTube*, too!

(in the US, at least, idk if these are region locked)

Ooooo I will be watching it (again) then! Thank you for the heads up!

Avatar
Avatar
llysaan

The collection is complete!!! This series of portraits took so long 😭 but I am happy with how they turned out 🥲💕

These will all be available as prints when my shop launches on Friday! And, if you’re interested in a giveaway for the whole set, check out my instagram (same username!) where we’re celebrating 15k 🥰

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
tpwrtrmnky

Hi! I can't help but notice that your three-sentence post didn't explicitly disavow this fringe viewpoint you're hearing about for the first time right now. Why do you support this viewpoint?

You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.
mouthporn.net