Please don't ask me for relationship advice unless you are prepared to receive some truly upsetting information because some people are ready for the "He's exhibiting the literal textbook signs of a psychological abuser and you need to get away from him before he successfully cuts you off from your support network" talk and some people aren't

FOR WHOEVER NEEDS A REMINDER:

This applies to ALL relationships btw

you arent going to be capable of any meaningful kind of solidarity with anyone if your response to new perspectives or information is to pretend you already knew.

if you cant say things like “i hadnt thought about it that way” or “thats a good point” (or even, god forbid “thanks for checking me on that”) when theyre appropriate, consider whether youre actually interested in developing your understanding or if youre just invested in your political self image.

Don't kill me for this but methinks maybe some people on tumblr do not know what a toxic relationship is both in fiction and irl. like I'm seeing people calling their ships "toxic yuri" or whatever because their relationship is tumultuous and has ups and downs or because the people involved got into a fight and hurt each other's feelings a couple times like....my liege that is just a normal relationship. In literally any kind of interpersonal relationship it is inevitable that you are going to hurt people sometimes and you're going to be hurt. You're going to disagree with people. You're going to do things wrong. That doesn't mean you're toxic or that your relationships are unsalvageable. That's just how people work. Like I'm starting to genuinely worry that people r gonna carry this attitude into their real lives and fuck themselves over because they think that their real relationships with other people aren't supposed to have any conflict or discomfort whatsoever and I feel like it ties into this weird hyper-individualism thing that tumblr has going on where people are not supposed to rely on each other or try to grow and have compassion for other people or it's "emotional labour"....babes relationships are supposed to take work. We work on ourselves for other people because we care about them. Take my hand it's okay you can do it

some tags I think are pretty good (plus this one that made me laugh)

btw one of the key components of actually being in a healthy relationship is just asking for things that you want. i keep seeing posts on this website saying 'i really want to do/receive [X] but my partner has never done it'. just ask. 'nobody exchanges love letters anymore' ask. 'i want to have my partner's hair in a locket like the victorians' just ask. 'i want to be bought flowers regularly :((' literally just ask. your partner doesn't know they're being held to these expectations and that you're unhappy unless you tell them. it's so unfair to expect your partner to read your mind. 'it's less special if you have to ask :((' grow up and stop pretending you're the lead in a romcom. when people say communication is crucial they mean it !! just ask !!

This is one of the hardest but most crucial lessons to learn if you have previously been in an abusive relationship. If a previous partner made you feel like it wasn't safe to ask for the things you want or need, it is very easy to fall into a pattern of never articulating your desires. But that's not fair to your current partner or to yourself; in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe asking for the things you want. It takes reflection, and work, and it is sometimes hard as hell, but trust me, it's worth it.

I love the phrase "they get along like a house on fire". It's perfect. You and me have perfect chemistry and it's setting off the carbon monoxide detectors. People are calling emergency services to get us to stop being so chummy. Someone died

These apps don’t get it. I want to have a ‘crush’ on someone and that is not possible unless they’re someone already in my life by happenstance and then I get obsessed with them for no reason. You don’t get that with a app because suddenly you’re on a ‘date’ having ‘drinks’. Like no sorry I don’t want to talk to you about my relationship history I want to look at you in a group setting and make up things about you in my head. Ok?

The thing is is like. I don’t enjoy dating the way I see other people enjoying dating because fundamentally what I find like fun and exciting is having an established dynamic with someone i.e. friend/coworker(bad idea)/passing academic acquaintance etc and then having that dynamic change through a series of rube goldberg machine-esque interactions. Like please somebody help me understand where the fun is in just going and being automatically In A Dynamic with someone and there’s no change there’s no transformation

The only two people who I feel really understand what I meant here

i think more people should consider the potential of rinne and shu as like. kind of friends

like i think the idea of shu being genuinely surprised by rinne's real personality over the front he puts up is SO GOOD like imagine he gave shu an actual genuine compliment on something he's working on. like he'd say some shit like of course its phenomenal i, shu itsuki made it etc. but he'd be so taken back. or better yet rinne says something nice about MIKA's art. mika makes cool weird shit i think rinne would love it and also he'd gain a couple points in shu's head cause shu thinks mika is the next van gogh

rinne is part of craftmonster and probably would have some interesting things to say about art and the act of creation and shu could probably even learn some things from him about the creative process and not focusing so hard on an end product and just enjoying creating. like theyd still banter a lot but they might actually squeeze a genuine conversation about art in there

also just thinking about some unseen moment after artistic partisan valkaloid collab rinne telling both valkyries thank you for looking after hiiro and being kind to him and theyre like wow. hes actually a pretty good guy. and then he goes back to being annoying as usual

they also have such interesting parallels in the sense that they both feel incredibly indebted to the person who saved them (mika/niki). like if you think about it for a second theyre REALLY similar in that regard. they both have someone they consider to be their light in the dark and even their reason for doing a lot of what they do and i think they should bond over it. i dont know how this hypothetical heart to heart would come about but like what if it did. you know

like i think theyre the kind of friends that no one really understands why they are friends and they dont really either. but theyre standing around talking in the cospro office for the 3rd time this week and shu is outwardly annoyed but is making no effort to leave and everyone just accepts it

okay last poll made me curious

guys im startinf to see why this is the celibacy website

fuck looks. relationships NEED to based on your ability to be SILLY TOGETHER!!!!!! you better be laughing together or ELSE

oukawa sibling relationship hcs!! these three have a death grip on my heart and two of them arent even canonically named ♡

(rotated text at a normal angle under the cut)

“don’t go where i can’t follow” is literally the most romantic thing anyone has ever said. it’s like. i’ll let you bring me anywhere—far from home, far from the places and people i love, so long as you stay with me. i’ll let you walk into danger and through hell, but i will not let you go where i can’t go with you. that is where i draw the line. 

bsd doodles :3