btw one of the key components of actually being in a healthy relationship is just asking for things that you want. i keep seeing posts on this website saying 'i really want to do/receive [X] but my partner has never done it'. just ask. 'nobody exchanges love letters anymore' ask. 'i want to have my partner's hair in a locket like the victorians' just ask. 'i want to be bought flowers regularly :((' literally just ask. your partner doesn't know they're being held to these expectations and that you're unhappy unless you tell them. it's so unfair to expect your partner to read your mind. 'it's less special if you have to ask :((' grow up and stop pretending you're the lead in a romcom. when people say communication is crucial they mean it !! just ask !!

This is one of the hardest but most crucial lessons to learn if you have previously been in an abusive relationship. If a previous partner made you feel like it wasn't safe to ask for the things you want or need, it is very easy to fall into a pattern of never articulating your desires. But that's not fair to your current partner or to yourself; in a healthy relationship, you should feel safe asking for the things you want. It takes reflection, and work, and it is sometimes hard as hell, but trust me, it's worth it.

kohiiai swan lake au (not!fic)

I planned to post this before swan Kohaku scout ended and then I pulled him yesterday, which is as good a sign as any.

Here it is! At last! I do not remember when I first said I wanted to see Aira as Odette but I'm sure it's been a long time. If any of you remember that, I hope you're not disappointed!

Note: I say kohiiai but it's really mostly hiiai and kohaai, with hiikoha only being mentioned in the epilogue since it just works out that way. It's there, it exists, but it doesn't happen during the main plot

This is ~5k words, broken up into 4 acts + prologue and epilogue. I'll also add some minor notes in a reblog

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Additional notes:

Pink Hair Swag Tourney, Round Two, Part One

Reasons why YOU should consider voting for Kohaku Oukawa

- First off, Kohaku is the only character in the game - Ensemble Stars, who is actually in two separate units (Adam/Eve are just separations of the main unit Eden in comparison)

- He was locked away from the world for the first 15 years of his life, and only had knowledge based on what he learned from the internet and TV. Basically he was under house arrest without having done any crime.

- He's part of the units: Crazy:B and Double Face, who both go against the usual idol rules.

- Crazy:B was created as a "vaccine" for the idol world, it was used to stir up chaos and break the status quo which made the other existing units stronger. That said, even despite not really being close at the start (practically all of them knew that they would probably disband), they stayed together!

- They're sooo found family coded, and Kohaku is of course the token little brother figure.

- Double Face on the other hand, was a unit created to fight against the corruptness of the idol world. They basically do mob justice and get away with it <3

- So moving on, Kohaku is a rather old-fashioned person. He's surprisingly mature for his age, which shows in the way he thinks:

- He also has a rather sharp tongue, rarely would he sugarcoat his words. Kohaku's cynical world view also tends to make him have an unfavorable self-image, say.. when you compliment his name.

- Deep down though, he still a young boy. He still has a childish side to him, and cares a lot about the people around him. Because of how dark the world seems to him, he appreciates the little bits of good that he finds.

- He can be very sweet! He's so little brother shaped.

- He is so pink! he has swag! he has immense amounts of gap moe that make him go from cute to cool!

ICYMI, there was fear that companies were scraping public AO3 fics to train their AI without the consent of AO3 or its users. That fear has been confirmed.

AO3 has written about what they’re doing (and what they’re not able to do), and they recommend restricting your work to AO3 registered users only. [Instructions here]

This gross misuse of the archive by techbros is why I’ve locked down my fics for the foreseeable future. I recommend the rest of you do the same.

@lordoftherazzles made a quick guide for ao3 authors to lock all their works at once for registered users only here!

Someone recently messaged me worried I’d deleted all my fic - it’s all still there, it’s just locked to A03 because of this and other skimming instances.

Please note that many fanfic authors are locking their stories so that they are only accessible to registered Ao3 users.

They’re still there at Ao3. The authors have made this choice to protect their work from misuse/AI scanning.

another reminder y’all. Ao3 Authors are locking their stories to protect against misuse/AI scanning.