ribbit ribbit

my problem as a writer and as a roleplayer is that I always want characters to do that thing where you hold your hand out, palm to the ground, and kind of tilt it quickly left and right to express uncertainty or a "kinda-sorta"/"yes and no" vibe. but I don't know an official term for this so I always just call it the Noncommittal Hand Waggle

somebody appears to have responded to this post... via the contact form on bandcamp, using the burner email "[email protected]"

It is the sign of the scales. The scales have not settled and they waggle back and forth. Like this like that.

and you know what. I never thought about that before but it's probably right. why the fuck would you tell me this via the bandcamp contact form of all things, and why would you phrase it like you're writing an esoteric treatise encoded via metaphor

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

many will tell you that the dog motif is passé and cliché and overdone . don't listen to them. keep chaining that fictional man to a fence

I wish I was a stress cleaner. Never once has my response to stress been “time to employ some good habits”

I'm small as fuck!!!

the lovely woman who owned kabosu, the shiba known as doge, should get to take a point blank shot at elon musk with the doohickey that killed shinzo abe

during october vampires are at their most powerful. they don’t physically get stronger it’s just a pleasant confidence boost.

so do werewolves, they ain't special

this isn’t about werewolves make your own post

starting a collection. please add on

touching grass isn't enough some of y'all need to drive out to the countryside and look at the stars

this post was aimed at the discourse-addled and terminally online, but i'm glad it's reaching an audience of people who are just excited about stargazing in general

sad, sick little knight laid up in bed with a big comforter thrown on top of them, pouring honey tea through a funnel they've stuck through their visor

shivering because they've got the chills. dear god you cannot begin to imagine the clanking and clattering. it sounds like when you clip into the wall in garry's mod

transphobes are on a different plane of existence than the rest of us how do you manage to come to these conclusions

???????????? genuinely how do these people think science works like do they still believe in bloodletting

oh I see. it was the crime of wanting. that's why I deserve it.

they should make a pill that makes people in their 20s feel good about where their lives are going

Impressive to me that no one said the same thing twice