Hello! I am fellow asexual in crisis rn. I don't have anyone to seek help to. And came to internet for that. I hope i won't be bothering you or anything. Feel free to ignore this ask. I've come here today to seek suggestions from you about this situationship I'm in rn. I'm not good with words so I'll just go straight to the point.
I'm a 20 yo bi romantic afab seggs impulsed ace and never had any sort of romantic relationship. I am involved in this fun community since June and i met someone this july. We have only met 3 times since we live quite far away from each other, and planning our next meet next week. We've been talking and playfully flirting with each other since day one. And somehow on our last hangout we became closer, and flirting became more serious and deep. And now it's literally clear we like each other. That's not actually the problem though. I'm pretty open about my sexuality. And I'm pretty sure he knows it.
The problem is after talking to him in a romantic sense I don't want to carry on with this. I don't want to get involved with this situation. There's nothing wrong with him. He's a sweetheart gentleman. I just don't know why but the "butterflies" i used to get a few days ago seems like a burden rn. As if, The idea of being in a relationship repulses me. I've been thinking if I'm aromatic or not for quite some time now. Got rid if that thought because i like the idea of falling in love. Now that I'm getting something similar I don't think I like it..
But i think he's getting way too attached with me and idk how to deal with this situation. I'm not experienced enough nor do i have anyone who would be able to understand my troubles. I'm not even sure if it's about aromantisism or just me being terrified of the idea of love.
Hey! I’ll try to help I’m any way I can. First off I am no expert and have only been in one relationship myself so take my advice with a grain or salt. That being said let’s get into this.
I know it sounds a bit cliche but have you tried telling him that you don’t want a relationship? Being honest about that before things go any further is a wise move. If you have, and that didn’t cause him to back off, that’s a red flag. Him not willing to back off on the pursuit of a relationship after you have set a boundary isn’t someone you want to friends with.
Also noting what you said about liking the idea of falling in love. Liking the idea of something and actually feeling or pursuing it are very different things. I honestly have been struggling with my romantic orientation for a while and am also boarding on biromantic and aromantic. So I can understand it’s difficult to figure out.
With that said. Hopefully people in the comments can add a bit more advice and experience to the discussion. I hope this helped even just a little. And good luck!!