So he WAS listening!  This made me laugh my ass off at my desk, but it was worth the embarrassment.

The Story of Us - Kaidan and Shepard

Finally finished up editing my video, based off of the audio I posted yesterday.  I added a few extra voice clips to really bring home the feels.  Please tell me what you think of it! :3

SWTOR - Romance themes

This is basically different versions of Across the Stars and some of SWTOR's own Romance themes all wrapped up in one piece of music.  I think it's great listening music for any Kaidan or Carth-themed  drawing/writing sessions.  Give it a listen ^^

Kaidan and Garrus:  The Love Interest and the Bro

I had a chance last night to sit and really think about how I feel about the two potential LIs, and thought I'd sort of make a post about how I felt about each of them, perhaps in the hopes that others feel similarly, but also as an alternative view for people who might feel oppositely.  Please keep in mind I love both of these guys.  I'm not trolling or picking on one or another; I'm simply making observations here and trying to sort my thoughts.

Now maybe this sounds like heresy to some, but to me Garrus never felt like he always liked you "that way."  This feeling only seems to start up once you suggest it in ME2.  To be sure, he always respected you and liked you as a colleague/friend/commander, but I never really sensed an underlying attraction until all the suggestive dialogue starts in the middle of the second game.  There's something that's less-than-satisfying to me when I feel like I'm trying to convince someone to like me.  His speech about not wanting to lose important people during his romance scene in ME2 is very poignant and sweet, but it can also easily apply to someone he cares for as a very close friend... I didn't get the sense that they pushed the romantic angle far enough for me, although I appreciated his hilarious attempts at flirtation.  Perhaps this distanced feel is why his much more physical moves in ME3 feel sort of jarring to me; they always came off as forced.  Perhaps it was the dialogue or the timing or something, but I was never sold on the mutual attraction/chemistry.  I also thought it was a bit odd to add the turian/baby comment, which seemed a little weird to say right before a battle.  To be frank, I wouldn't really want to hear any kind of baby-talk right before something like that, from any of them... it seems misplaced.  But a lot of what he said that I did connect with were ironically lines that also play if you are just friends with him, like about meeting at the bar, which end up sort of cementing the feeling that we seem to serve best as close companions, but not necessarily more.

I would've liked to have seen a more graduated set of scenes showing his increasingly romantic manuevers, not just jumping right into the dip-you-down and snog you date shot.  I suppose this really applies to almost ALL the romances in the game, though... more time with them would've really helped sell their feelings for Shepard, minus Liara who had way too much screen time with you even when she isn't a romance interest.

But getting back to Garrus' love vibe... I just wasn't getting enough of it.  Part of me was afraid it was perhaps more of a "I respect this person so much, so why not?" thing rather than something else rooted in emotions.  Kaidan, on the other hand, clearly has a thing for you before you even try to suggest anything, as is clear from the scene when he inadvertently calls you beautiful during the first time on the Citadel in ME1.  While he shares Garrus' deep level of respect for Shepard, it's obvious his feelings go above and beyond simple hero worship as the plot progresses.  What's interesting is that he often restrains himself and pushes that out of Shepard's view, whether it's to be professional or not distract her from important things.  Garrus is similar in his approach (once he actually starts liking you that way) but there's something very touching about a guy who has always silently loved someone from afar, but doesn't wish to impose himself. 

What also left an impression on me is how Kaidan isn't afraid to lay his feelings bare when he thinks it's important, whether that's a good or a bad thing.  Garrus in general refrains from doing so, often coming off as quite a cool character because of it, but it's because of that aloof attitude that I didn't feel that he and Shepard had the kind of intimate connection Kaidan and Shepard had.  By the time Garrus actually starts opening up emotionally, it's too close to the end of game and too late for me to really bond with him.

One thing about Kaidan that's unusual, however, is his reaction to getting dumped during his Citadel date depending on whether Shepard is male or female.  There's something about how prickly Kaidan gets when FemShep dumps him that makes me wonder if Kaidan felt more passionately about her, or at the very least thought he had better chances with her than with MaleShep?  For MaleShep, he resigns himself to the decision, doesn't fight it, as if there was some part of him that sort of knew it would never work despite his feelings for Shepard, and there's something in his tone that's quite tragic and unrequited. 

Ultimately, I think a lot of how I feel comes down to their voices.  Kaidan's voice is just dripping with emotional content.  When his voice cracks or he has to take a breath to regain his composure, I really feel for him.  I wish Garrus' voice shared some of that in his more intimate conversations; think about it, Garrus always sounds cool as a cucumber... imagine what that would mean if his voice cracked with emotion when saying something to Shepard, indicating she's seeing through his tough exterior to something vulnerable underneath?  I just wanted a little more depth in his voice deliveries.  :\

Overall though, I love both of these guys.  Unless I'm forced by the game to drag Liara/Edi/etc along, these two will always be my main squadmates, and I take them everywhere.  They complement each other so well... and really, who wouldn't want their back covered by the love of their life and their best bro?

Angsty Shenko Scenario #343

Imagine this, if you will...

During a particularly nasty fight against Reaper ground forces (and after things are cemented in the Citadel Date), Kaidan is forcibly taken by the Reapers while Shepard is too occupied to be able to stop them.  They search for him but those Reapers are long gone at that point.

Some time passes...

Then on the battle on Earth, a wave of new Reaper forces descend upon Shepard and her squad.  Among them, an unsual oddity... something that resembles a Husk but is also as dangerous as a Banshee, crackling with untamed rippling biotic waves.  Some of its old destroyed armor still clings to its distorted form.

It's Kaidan. 

...Or at least, it was Kaidan.

Deep down some part of it recognizes Shepard, as it reaches out its wizened, darkened fingers out at her.

-------

So basically this is like the whole "my loved one is now a zombie" thing, but I'd like to offer some different outcomes:

- Super tragic version: Although it recognizes her, it's not enough to affect him, and they're forced to destroy him like every other Reaper on the field (some good trauma for Shepard to have to do it herself)

- A little of column A, a little of B:  It recognizes her and what she means to him enough to falter for a moment, perhaps even for his destroyed vocal chords to croak out her name or tell her he can't control himself for very long (basically a method for him to say one last thing to her before he completely turns)

- Super heroic version: Despite being what he is, his love for her is so strong that it gives him the strength/willpower to struggle against what he is.  Mix the talking-to-her part from the previous scenario and then have him, in a last ditch effort and using all of his will, turn his attention to the other Reapers and buy Shepard and her squad some time as he destroys himself by hurtling himself at the Reapers and fighting them until he detonates himself in a colossal Barrier blow-up.

-------

So what do you think? Decent idea?  I'd love for someone to run with this either as a fanfic or fanart.  I'm stuck at work at the moment so I can't  ;3;

Not just yet anyway...

edit: Anyone and everyone can have a stab at this; the more the merrier! And of course, being Shenko, there is no deadline for doing so XD

I was thinking about the previous post I made about Kaidan never showing off what he can really do... and got a small inspiration for a comic-book style frame. 

I imagined this scenario in my head:   Shepard is down, the Reapers are swarming around them, and Kaidan is out of ammo.  No choice left... time to max out his L2, no matter the cost.  This music seemed suitably heroic for the scene and was what I listened to while drawing.  It would be tragic, but sacrificing himself to save Shepard is totally what he would do.  ( ;u;)

Below are a b/w version (for the manga-type fans) and the original sketch that started my long evening, lol.

Spent the better part of an afternoon experimenting with Kaidan sketches to find my version of him.  I think the most successful (read: sexy) one is the one I've marked... so maybe I'll go with that one and see what kind of art I can make?

I still haven't decided what body type to give him... lean or stocky? round and built or stylized muscles for a more slender frame?  Any thoughts?

Wow, my Memories of Kaidan audio mix got almost 600 listens in a day! Thanks Alenko fans! :D  I decided to make a video using the mix, simulating the whole Shepard Dream thing.  I didn't spend too long on it, I just wanted it to serve to add to the mood of the mix.  I hope you guys like it! :)   

Don't leave me, Kaidan... ;n;

It's been a while since I messed with Raphael Sbarge's voice, so I made a new mix!  I call it " Memories of Kaidan. "

This is what my Shepard would be hearing in her nightmares...

"Shepard...."

You can hear the pain in his voice... he's half a step away from breaking down completely ;n;

HILARIOUS NIGHTMARES FOREVER

SPOILERS AHOY!  It's not a major plot spoiler or something, but this is a scene of male Shepard and Kaidan having a moment.  Since I'm not going to play a male Shep, I've been actively watching these things.  Hideous facial animation aside (christ, even the BLINKS look bad), the music and dialogue are surprisingly poignant and not nearly as eyeroll-inducing as the previously-cut romance stuff from ME1. 

I finally stopped procrastinating and animated that Carth video I had mentioned a while back.  Just spent an evening on it since my attention span's just that bad, lol.  It's the last bit of dialogue he has with the Exile in KOTOR2, talking about waiting for Revan.  It's pretty heartbreaking audio, and I always felt that the tone when he says to tell Revan he's waiting for her sounds like deep down he knows he'll never see her again.  I couldn't help thinking of Fry's dog when I was working on this ;n;

(click the link above to hear)

This is another oldie but a goodie, an edit where Carth argues with Revan as she tries to sneak away at the end of kotor 1 / pre-kotor 2.  The audio actually comes from a radio play Raphael Sbarge did (which I can't remember the name of now), but I thought the scene was very reminiscent of what they might be arguing over.

Did I post this before? I can't remember... o_O

This frame is a test for that idea I had the other day... Carth's unfortunately a little more complicated than Alistair was ( stupid 50% alpha beard D:< ) so it might be pretty damn limited animation compared to what I originally envisioned, but then again, the Alistair one was really limited too, lol.