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#stay ugly – @artofkhaos404 on Tumblr
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contributing to the khaos

@artofkhaos404

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Can we take a moment to address the fact that fat people aren't allowed to have a type or taste unless it's other fat people?

If a person with an "acceptable" body type (thin, midsized or muscular) is typically most attracted to another one of these "acceptable" varieties of body that isn't their own... for example a thin person having a type for muscular people... it's normal.

It's just a preference, right?

If anyone with one of those "acceptable" body types listed above is attracted to fat people, it can either be seen as odd or cute. Toxic attitudes towards it range from:

"Aw, I love that you look for personality!" to "Seriously? Look at you! You could do so much better, don't settle for less!" to "Good for you, giving them a chance anyway!"

Even if some of that sounds positive, it's all horribly fatphobic. Not healthy. Not equal. Yet, for the most part, being attracted to fat people when you aren't fat yourself isn't seen as a huge issue or really discussed at all. People might just tell you that you're selling yourself short or have bad taste.

BUT.

If you're fat, all those rules change.

Into muscular builds? Skinny bodies? Midsized frames?

"That's not fair, how do you expect him to stay in shape and be sexy for you when you don't even try to take care of yourself? You would swallow him. He deserves someone who keeps themselves as trim as he is. You should be with someone more your size."

Just because I'm fat, that doesn't mean I suddenly lose all capacity for taste as to what I'd prefer my partner to look like. I'm not less worthy of having a partner I'm attracted to. I don't deserve less say or lose rights to my opinions because of my body type.

I'm attracted to skinny men. That's my type.

That doesn't mean I wouldn't go out with a fat guy or a muscular guy or a midsized guy. Doesn't mean I think fat guys are ugly or muscular men are gross. I'm generally not particularly inclined to other builds rather than thin ones, but if he was sweet to me and checked all my boxes, I would totally go out with him! Without hesitation! Despite his body type.

No one is ugly for their appearance. "Ugly" is something inside you. I don't think that shallow. Fatphobes? They're who's truly ugly.

And racists, sexists, punkphobes, etc.

But still... generally... I have a preference.

It was okay for you.

Why not for me?

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One day we will be able to look into a mirror without wanting to break it.

One day we will look at our hands without wanting to break them as well.

One day we will stop comparing our breasts and behinds to those around us.

One day we will examine our stretch marks and rolls and think of them as a beautiful creation.

One day we will hear someone call us by our given name and it will not hurt us.

One day we will examine our biology and not think life would be easier if it were different.

One day we will listen to "The Body Terror Song" by AJJ and not sob, only listen and feel connection.

One day we will feel powerful and comfortable in skirts and other feminine things that now only make us feel less than.

One day we will be able to look at ourselves and say "I love you. I forgive you."

One day we will accept ourselves in the way we do others: unconditionally.

One day we will be whole again.

One day we will recover.

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