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love myself

@artist-tae / artist-tae.tumblr.com

love yourself • she/her • 19
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fate (jungkook x fem!reader)

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 2.6k 

Chapter 5/6   (1)  (2)  (3)  (4) 

The empty silence of your room was dreadful. Your head was spinning from you overthinking and you could not relax all day. You sat on your bed staring at the wall, deep in thought. Visions of Jungkook filled your mind and you couldn’t get him out of your head. It was almost pathetic at this point. You gazed into space wondering what your options were. It was time for you to move on. 

"_______?"

Jimin’s words snapped you out of your spiralling thoughts. You didn’t even notice him entering the room. He stood next to you at the end of your bed, looking down at you as you sat. You felt guilty even looking at his face. 

"I was wondering if you wanted some food?" he asked with concern. He had just found you in your room, staring at a blank wall, ignoring him calling out for you. 

"Thanks Jimin, but I think I’m alright for now," you responded, trying your best to form a smile. 

Jimin raised his eyebrows at you. He knew when you were tense or had your mind on something. It made it hard to keep anything a secret from him. He could read you like a book at this point.  

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fate (jungkook x fem!reader)

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 3.4k

Chapter 4/6 (1) (2) (3) (5)

WARNING: This chapter does mention sexual harassment. If this affects you, I advise you please not to read. Viewer’s discretion is advised.

The next morning, you lay in bed as the sunlight dripped into your room. Your head was pounding from last night, and you felt a heavy weight in the pit of your stomach. Why did Jungkook still have so much influence over you? You groaned on the pillow, covering yourself in the blankets. 

A knock on the door filled the room. You heard the door creak open to see Jimin holding a plate of pancakes. He gave you a sympathetic look as you were buried in your little cocoon.

"Are you planning to get up today?" He laughed at you, placing the plate on the edge of the bed. 

You shook your head, the smell of the pancakes hit your nose and suddenly your stomach was rumbling with hunger. You sat up in bed and reached over for the pancakes. You gave Jimin a thank you as he plopped himself beside you on the bed. You took a bite out of your pancake, fluffy as always. Not as tasty as Jungkook’s a voice shot from your thoughts. You immediately felt guilt rush through your body. Jimin had been nothing but good to you. 

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fate

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

words: 4.8k

Chapter 3/6   (1) (2) (4) (5) 

“_______?”

Your head felt like it weighed a tonne. Your vision was now able to make out your ex-boyfriend’s hands wrapped around the neck and jaw of a girl. His eyes were wide like he was a deer caught in headlights.  In your drunken state, you couldn’t say a word. After two years of not seeing each you, you find him eating the face of a random girl. You firmly believed you were about to blackout. 

“Sorry.”

That was the only thing that came out of your mouth before you turned and shut the door. You were filled with embarrassment and stupidity as you ran down the stairs. You could have sworn you heard Jimin shout out your name but you knew he wouldn’t make the situation any better. You marched over to the front door and swung it open. The cold air hit your legs and you immediately noticed the throbbing headache you had. 

You pulled out your phone, you were searching through your contacts for a taxi company. As you held your phone up to your ear, you heard the front door open and close again. The sound of footsteps coming towards you.  

“______, please just wait!”

Your intoxicated body could only shake your head and slur a dragged out no. You didn’t even want to look at him. His feet finally caught up to you. He stood in front you, blocking your way to the main street. 

“Where are you going to go?”

He asked with worry and annoyance in his tone. You pushed his shoulder with all the strength you could muster to make him move but he barely budged. 

“I am heading home!”

You walked around him. Unfortunately, your legs seemed to not be working correctly as you tripped and nearly fell over on the ground. His hand stretched out and seized your arm in order to steady your balance. While it was a considerate gesture, you were not in the right state of mind to appreciate it. 

“Get off me”

You snapped pulling your hand away from him. He ignored your temper and proceeded to grab your other arm. 

“You can’t just expect me to let you go home like this?”

“Leave me alone, Jungkook.”

As you tempted to straighten yourself up, a taxi was passing by. Jungkook stuck his hand out and waved it over. He tossed your arm out his shoulder and essentially carried you towards the cab. He opened the door of the car and gently as he could, placed you in the seat. 

When he got in and shut the door, he turned his whole body to you. He asked for your address. The only image that popped into your head was Jimin. You just replied with a groan and buried your head into your knees. He repeated himself again, noting how pissed the taxi driver was becoming. Again, you still gave me useless groans and moans. In defeat, he gave the driver his own address. 

The whole ride, you moaned about useless stuff that Jungkook could barely make out. He was silently praying that you wouldn’t throw up until you got to his house or else he would have to give the cab driver a generous tip. His hand crept up to rub your back, hoping to might ease your drunkenness. This is were Jungkook would take in your appearance, only if you weren’t so drunk. He wanted to see how much you’ve changed since you two last talked. 

The taxi pulled up to Jungkook's apartment. He paid the man along with a decent tip, thanking him. Jungkook shook you to let you know that the ride was over. You didn’t budge and your head continued to throb. Jungkook gave up thinking that you could walk. He hoisted you out of the car and lifted you bridal style. When he finally got into the apartment, after struggling to get the keys out of his pocket and still be able to support your head, you began to stir back to consciousness. You lifted your head to look at Jungkook. 

“Jungkook?” 

He looked down at you. You were able to take in his features on his face. He hadn’t changed at all besides a couple more piercings on his ear. Your drunken state caused you to touch the metal attached to his ears, pulling them gently.  Jungkook just laughed and shook his head. 

“You haven’t changed at all _______.” 

He whispered as if it was just to himself. He walked to his bedroom still carrying you. When he was inside it, he laid you on the bed. When your body sank into the bed, your muscles immediately relaxed. A wave of tiredness hit you. Jungkook placed the covers over you. He remembered you always wanted water before going to bed. You said it helped with a hangover though Jungkook knew it never worked. 

He turned to walk away but your hand on his wrist stopped him. You had your eyes shut up you were still conscious. 

“Are you not going to stay with me in bed?” 

You giggled to yourself. The alcohol still hadn’t left your bloodstream. Jungkook took your grip off his arm. 

“You’re drunk _____.” 

He walked away. Before he could leave the room, you stuttered out one last thing. 

“Missed you.” 

Jungkook took another gaze back at you. His heart sunk faintly hearing you say that.  He left and filled a glass with water. However, by the time he came back you were blackout, soft exhales leaving your mouth. Silence filled Jung kook’s house. He placed the covers up over your shoulders to keep you warm. 

“Missed you too.”

The sound of the morning traffic outside caused you to wake you from your slumber. Your skull throbbed and your mouth was dry as sand. The water by the bedside caught your eye and you immediately threw it down your throat. As you laid on the bed, you suddenly realised that this wasn’t your room. Your heart rate spiked as you looked around the room for clues to where you were. Visions of last night flashed through your mind. You were in Jungkook’s room. You were in Jungkook’s bed. You groaned and buried your face in the pillow. Your nose caught the scent of Jungkook’s cologne. It was still the same as you remember it.  

You heard the door open and a damp Jungkook stepped into the room. He must have just got out of the shower. A towel was wrapped around his hips and his long hair was wet. He noticed you were awake and immediately beamed at you. 

“Morning _______.”

Maybe you were still dreaming. You sat up on the bed, making note you were still wearing the same outfit from last night. You strutted a hey to him. An awkward silence filled the room as you didn’t know what to say and Jungkook was searching for clothes to wear. Before you would you stop yourself, the question fell off your lips. 

“Did we…?”

He gave a small laugh and shook his head. Relief washed over you. 

“No, we didn’t _____. You were drunk. I slept on the couch.”

You thanked him and apologised for kicking him out of his bed. Your eyes danced over his exposed skin. He had new ink done. His work had improved immensely. Your eyes landed on his arm. You let out a gasp without noticing. 

“What?”

“Why do you still have that?!” You snapped at him in shock. 

Jungkook turned over his arm so he could see what you were talking about. An area in his arm was tattooed with your first name and a simple black heart outlining it. You just assumed he would probably get it removed after you two broke up. Jungkook smirked looking at it. 

“I don’t know.”

You rolled your eyes at his answer. 

“It was my favourite.”

You remember the day he texted you to come to his studio after school. When you entered you saw him laid out on the seat and tattooing himself. When you saw he had written your name you let out a yelp that nearly caused him to ruin the tattoo. You were pissed that he got it initially, but it soon grew on you. It flattered you that he did it to show how loyal and passionate he was towards you. 

You ignored his comment and Jungkook wasn’t expecting a reply. He rummaged through his clothes and tossed you a black t-shirt and a pair of shorts, both were his. He then grabbed an outfit for himself and went to the door to give you some privacy. 

“Come out when you’re ready, I’ll make some pancakes.”

“You don’t cook.”

“I’ve improved.”

With that, he left the room and shut the door. For the first meeting him since your breakup, it wasn’t bad. Stiffness was still there but thankfully Jungkook tried his best to make sure you were at ease. You removed your tight dress and threw on the shirt and shorts. Both engulfed you but at least you were comfy. You found your phone in your purse and turned it on. Your phone screen lit up with a cluster of notifications. 

20 messages -  Jimin 

15 missed calls - Jimin 

Your heart stopped when you recalled that you two kissed. You could still feel his taste on your lips. You had a sick feeling in your stomach, you were overflown with guilt. Jimin and your friendship is something that you treasure with all your being. To know that it might be ruined over one stupid make-out session was horrifying. Remorseful, you decided to send him a text letting him know that you were okay. 

Hey Jimin. I’m so sorry I just woke up. I stayed over at my friend’s house; I’ll back soon.

You walked out of the bedroom. The smell of brunt cooking filled your nose. Finding the kitchen, you walked in to see Jungkook looming over the stove. Seeing him struggle to cook the pancakes couldn’t help but laugh. He spun around to look at you, still clutching the spatula. You raised your eyebrow at him. 

“I promise I’ve done this before.” 

You gave him a sympathetic smile. He finished making the pancakes and placed them on one plate. The pancakes were more black and crisp than brown and soft. You took one of the forks and took a bite out of one. It was a battle to swallow. You and him both looked at each other and proceed to erupt into laughter. Jungkook felt a feeling of joy hearing you laugh. 

“Tasty.” You replied sarcastically. 

Once you both quieted down, Jungkook asked you about your life, hoping to find what you’ve been doing since you’ve last talked. 

“So how have you been?”

You wondered if you should be honest with him. For basically a year after you two broke up, you were a mess. You spent most nights crying and feeling guilt-ridden. You remembered how dry your throat was from sobbing countless nights. The feeling like you would never be happy again. The utter grief you felt when you deleted his number.  Missing his touch was the worst, it was like a drug that you yearned for.  It was pathetic but there was no point of denying how strong a love like you two had. You often wondered if Jungkook was the same. 

“Fine. College has been great. A lot of essays and all-nighters but nothing too traumatic”

“Good to hear. I’m happy you were able to achieve what you’ve always wanted.”

He gave a weak smile. You thanked him appreciatively. 

“How’s the tattoo shop?”

“It's pretty good at the moment. A lot more people these days are getting tattoos. So our manager wanted us to expand our shops so that’s why I’m living here right now.” He spoke with a large grin on his face. He was obviously delighted with his business’s achievement. It warmed your heart to still see he had a passion for it.

It felt natural to talk to Jungkook. You and he caught up with each other about family and friends, occasionally talking about nonsense. You glanced at your phone to see it was almost 1 pm. Shit you thought, you had class at two and you needed to get home to change. You cursed under your breath. 

“I have to head home; my class starts soon.”

“Let me drive you home, you don’t know where you are.”

You obliged and headed to his car. The ride brought back recollections of you two driving with the windows down, blaring music and kissing each other. It almost made your cheeks flush a little thinking about it. The only thing that was the same was that Jungkook still couldn’t drive slowly. 

“Could you speed up anymore?” You questioned him sarcastically, your grip tight on the seat’s armrest. 

“So, have you been seeing anyone?”

He asked abruptly, disregarding your question. The question was on both of your lips, but he was the first one to have the courage to ask.  You hesitated to answer. 

“No. School has kept me too busy. Have you?”

Jungkook kept his gaze on the road. A serious look was on his face. He responded blankly. 

“No, me neither.”

The sound of the radio filled the car until he pulled up beside your apartment. You thanked him again, grateful that you didn’t have to take the bus back home.  Jungkook was taken back at the size of it, it was far too big for just one student. 

“You live here alone?”

“I have a roommate.”

You realised that this was the end of the journey. It also meant the end of your and Jungkook’s reunion. Did you want it to end like this?

“Well, I guess this is it.”

Jungkook said as if he had just read your thoughts. You pondered if he was as prepared as you to let it end like this. 

“Hey, my friend is having a party, he lives in a big mansion and his parties are always wild, you should come tonight. It will be fun! Plus I need to give you back your clothes.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrow, it was probably his biggest habit. He contemplated the idea of going to a stranger’s party but knowing you would be there persuaded him. 

“Sure.” He finally replied. 

You grinned at his acceptance to your invitation. You two said your goodbyes and you jumped out of his car. Before you got to your door you heard Jungkook’s window roll down. 

“Keep the clothes, they look better on you than me!”

You rolled your eyes at his comment. You waved him goodbye and entered your house. As soon as you stepped in you collapsed on the sofa. You feel like you had been holding your breath since you saw Jungkook. You contemplated if this was all a dream and you would wake up and none of this ever happened. 

The silence in the house made you concluded Jimin was not home. Nerves filled you as you wondered how you two would talk about what happened last night. Did you regret it? You had no idea. You stomped to your bedroom and fell onto the bed. You let out a sigh and shut your eyes. Jungkook’s clothes were so cosy on you. Pathetically, you buried your head under the hoodie. Your nostrils were full of his scent. The aroma immediately made you feel relaxed. Unfortunately, you had to remove them in order to wash for tonight’s party. 

After you got out of the shower, you were meet with a lonesome Jimin standing in the hall. You both meet each other’s eyes and stared uncomfortably. Jimin had his hands in his pockets, an indication that he was nervous. 

“Can we talk?”

You nodded and both walked into your room. You quickly threw on an oversized shirt and Jimin, the gentleman that he is, turned away until you told him it was okay. You sat on the edge of your bed and he did the same as you felt the dip on the side of the bed. 

“About last night…”

He was about to trail off, but you interrupted him. 

“Jimin I get it, it was a mistake. You were drunk and so was I. We both didn’t mean it.”

Jimin’s shoulders stiffened. There was a hesitant silence before he spoke with a small laugh. 

“Yeah _____, exactly, it was a stupid decision.”

“Glad we both feel the same about it.”

“Yeah.” He mumbled. 

You both sat in silence, you stared at your feet only to look up to see Jimin was still staring at your face. His eyes were hypnotic as you continued to stare back. Your heart rate picked up pace and your eyes darted down to Jimin’s lips. You could see that he was doing the same. A sudden tension was apparent.

Before you could even say anything, Jimin had thrown himself on you, his lips crashing into yours. You let out a soft moan and your hands were in his hair. His arms were on either side of you and he deepened the kiss, pushing your body down onto the bed. He slipped his tongue into your mouth as you granted him entrance. He groaned as you lifted your hips up to his. One of his hands gripped your waist tightly guiding them. The warmth of his hand was apparent when he slipped it underneath your shirt. He snaked his fingers up to your bra, smoothing his thumb around the lace fabric. You lips spilled out his name. You could feel him smirking into the kiss, enthralled about good he was making you feel.  His hand moved down your stomach and reached the top of your jeans. He played with the button of the jeans. However, before he could unbutton it you broke the kiss and pushed yourself off the bed. Jimin retracted immediately, worried he went too far. You saw the worried expression on his face. You laughed slightly, caressing his face with your palm. 

“I just got to take it slow Jimin.”

Jimin smirked, his head leaning in. His eyes analysed your entire face. 

“I love slow.” 

He gave you one last passionate kiss. He immediately stood up and walked to his room. 

“Be home on time! We’ve got this party tonight.” He yelled down the hallway at you. 

At the party, you spent most of the time with Jimin and his friends. He occasionally would place his hand on your waist or ask if you’re okay. Things he wouldn’t usually do if you two were out. Pathetic as it sounds, you couldn’t help but glance around the club to see if Jungkook was here. Why were you so desperate for him to come?  It struck your mind that maybe he wasn’t coming. The idea of him not coming made you feel disappointed at yourself for raising your hopes.  

You walked to the bar to order another drink for yourself. You order your drink from the bartender and waited for him to serve it. 

“You’re not going to get as drunk as last time are you?”

You spun round to see Jungkook leaning on the bar beside you. He was dressed in all back, black top and black ripped jeans. It complimented the dark tattoos all over his body. You couldn’t hide the joy you felt when he came. You smiled and punched his shoulder. 

“You’re late!”

He laughed and rubbed his shoulder to soothe it. He explained that he was caught in traffic. You forgive him and offered him a drink. As you tried to grab the bartender’s attention, you saw Jungkook eyes move down your body. 

“Do you want to take a photo?”

You said to him, raising your eyebrow. You were pleased with yourself for catching him staring at you. But Jungkook did act shameful or embarrassed. 

“What do expect me to do when you look like that ____?” He purred. 

You were taken back at his words. He was challenging your boundaries as friends. You turned your whole body to face him, leaning in the smallest amount. 

“Watch your mouth Kookie.”

He was now the one that was shaken by your words. You never called him Kookie unless you were toying with him. His mouth formed a smirk and he licked his lips. If you were going to act as he thought, he might as well play along. 

“Make me _____.”

You opened your mouth to speak when a foreign arm wrapped around your waist. You looked beside you to see Jimin. You saw Jungkook stare up your roommate. 

“Babe, what’s taking you so long?” Jimin slurred slightly, he leant in and gave you a kiss on the cheek. 

Jungkook mouth dropped slightly, looking at you then back to Jimin. You froze slightly, not having a clue what to do next. In a panic, you decide to introduce the boys to each other. 

“Jimin!” You said, “This is Jungkook, he is… was…”

You stuttered. You didn’t know how you were supposed to introduce Jungkook as.  A friend? An Ex? Seeing your hesitation, Jungkook took things into his own hands.  

“I am _____’s ex.” He interrupted you, “She used to be my girl.”

Jimin was physically taken back by his last sentence. You couldn’t believe Jungkook has just said that. Jimin nodded and gave an awkward “Ah, okay.”  If you three weren’t in a busy bar, there would be dead silence. If there was ever a time you wanted the earth to swallow you whole, this was it. 

“Now excuse me, I need a smoke,” Jungkook said turning around and leaving. 

Jimin and you were left alone. Jimin gave Jungkook a dirty look as he walked away. 

“What is his problem?” Jimin asked you. 

You shrugged, not wanting to escalate the situation. You never told Jimin about Jungkook and your relationship. You took your drink and threw it to the back of your throat. A new song rumbled through the bar, causing Jimin to throw his head back and gave a yell in pleasure. 

“Dance with me ______.”

You rolled your eyes as you saw his cringy dancing. You made a poor excuse, not drunk enough yet to be dancing. As you open your mouth to say something, Jimin’s friend threw his arm around Jimin. 

“Come on Jimin!” Hoseok yelled in his friend’s ear. “We are taking shots.”

Jimin arm was yanked away from you along with him. Once alone, you checked to see if Jimin was still looking at you. when you saw he was too busy with a shot in his mouth, you swiftly scurried away. 

You swung open the door to the smoking balcony of the club. You searched past all the grey smoke to see him leaning on the wall, a cigarette placed in his mouth.  You stomped over to him. His face was expressionless in the dark. 

“Why did you have to say that Jungkook?”

He took a long drag of his cigarette. He placed his head down low breathing out the smoke, ensuring it doesn’t hit you. 

“When were you going to tell me, you had a boyfriend?”

His eyes were motionless and seriously. He felt like you had just played him. He thought you had just brought him here to embarrasses him with your boyfriend. 

“He isn’t my boyfriend. He’s my roommate.” You shot back at him. 

Jungkook scoffed at you. 

“I’ve never seen a roommate hold and kiss someone as he did with you.” 

You straightened yourself up and crossed your arms. Jungkook knew from past experiences that this was a warning that you were getting annoyed. 

“So what? It doesn’t matter what he does to me. It isn’t really any of your business anymore, is it?” You snapped at me. 

“You didn’t need to flaunt it all in front of me ______.” He hissed tossing the cigarette onto the ground in frustration.  

You both stared at each other intently, letting the air between you two relax. His jaw soon relaxed, and your breath steadied back to normal. 

“Okay Jungkook, I am sorry.” You said sincerely. “But I really think I like him. I just want to finally move on from us. It has taken so long.”

You could Jungkook’s eyes watering. He took a large step towards you, closing the gap between you two. You were about to step back when he placed his hand on the small of your back.  He leant his head forward.  You could feel his cigarette breath on you. 

“Say it then ______.” He stated, “Say that you don’t have feelings for me anymore.” 

You were frozen with emotions. Jungkook eyes scanned around your face for your answer. You had your mouth open to say something, but nothing was coming up. He saw how upset you were, and he immediately cupped his hands on your jaw. His thumb caressed your cheek. 

“Jungkook, please don’t.”

“Say it ______.”

“I can’t.” Your voice cracked. 

He lowered his face toward yours. His lips connected with yours. You were convinced your heart was going to burst. You could feel the sparks as you stood on your tiptoes to gain better access to his lips.  He pulled you into him more, pressing you into his firm chest. His scent filled your nose and you felt like you were transported back in time to when you and him were younger. He moaned into the kiss. He pressed you gently up against the cold wall. 

“Fuck, I’ve missed you so much.” He said between kisses. 

Hearing those simple words, you thought your knees were going to give out. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You never wanted to let go.  As he was about to slip his tongue in, something inside you stopped. You saw the image of Jimin soft face flash in your mind. Guilt immediately filled you. You stopped kissing back and Jungkook noticed, pulling his lips away from you. 

“What’s wrong?” He said puzzled. 

You didn’t know what to do. Before you knew it, a tear was rolling down your cheek and you were shaking your head. Jungkook’s confusion turned to concern. 

“I’m sorry Jungkook, I can’t do this again.” You wept. 

It was now Jungkook’s turn to shake his head. His face was turned to one of terror. The thought of letting you slip from his fingers was too much. 

“No.” 

It was the only thing that could come from out of his mouth. 

You didn’t dare look at him. You knew you would turn into a sobbing mess if you saw the heartbreak on his face.  All you could do was keep apologising while he repeated his no’s. Your heart was about to shatter into pieces if you didn’t leave. You walked to pass him, avoiding eyes. He grabbed your wrist stopping you from moving. 

“I can’t let this happen ______. Not again. I can’t let you break my heart again.” His was cracking, showing how he was barely holding himself together. 

“Let me go now Jungkook,” You said as sternly as you could, but it only came out weak. 

He obeyed your orders and you rushed away, leaving him in the cold dark. You marched back into the bar and outside. You jumped into a taxi that was sitting outside and order the driver to take you home. As the car drove you shot Jimin a text that you weren’t feeling too well and went home. 

When the taxi arrived at your house, you went inside and fell onto your bed. You buried your face into your pillow and sobbed. You sobbed like a child. You were filled with guilt and foolishness. You were sad that you just did that to Jungkook and at the same time, betraying Jimin. You felt worthless and imagined Jungkook standing by himself on the balcony in tears. You cried until it was just dry snuffles. You ended up falling asleep with exhaustion, your pillow damp with your tears. 

Halfway through the night, you heard your door creak open. You didn’t even bother turning over to look. You knew it was Jimin. He walked over to the side of your bed. He reached his hand out and pulled a strand of your hair behind your ear. As he was about to retreat to his own room, you grabbed his hand with yours. 

“Stay.” It was the only thing you could croak out. 

You appreciated him for not asking questions. He understandably agreed and you felt his weight on the bed. He pressed himself your back. His arms circled around your stomach and pulled you closer. He rested his head into your neck. You two laid there in harmony. 

“I love you.” 

You could hear him whisper it just under his breath. 

But you couldn’t say it back. 

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fate

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

words: 3.3k

Chapter 2/6   (1) (3) (4) (5) 

Present time

“Wake up ____!”

Your face was hit by the softness of a pillow. You groaned and threw your arm over your head as protection. Coldness when hit you when your duvet was ripped away from your body. If you weren’t so tired you probably would have screamed.

“Why are you so sleepy?”

You didn’t respond and buried your head into your pillow.

“Are you dead?”

You finally opened your eyes just halfway to look at the intruder in your room.

“10 more minutes Jimin.”

A scoff was heard from the man. Suddenly a hand wrapped around your ankle and you were yanked out of your soft bed onto the ground.

“Jimin, I swear to god!”

You rubbed your eyes awake and to avoid staring at the man who rudely woke you up.

“Come on ____, you promised you would come today.”

You finally fully opened your eyes to stare up at Jimin. He held out his hand to help you up and you accepted it.

“Okay Jimin, but please leave my room so I can get changed!”

Thankfully that made him leave. Your roommate had been going on about a new fair that had just opened in your area. You had never planned on visiting it as the last time you went to the fair you threw up the churros you had that night. Also you were with the person you only recently had gotten over.

But you felt bad for Jimin as you had been busy with school and deadlines that you two hardly got to spend time with one another. You first met Jimin in your first year of college. He lived next door to your dorm. Initially, you two were enemies. Your food would always go missing and you took forever in the shower. It wasn’t until you both ended up stumbling home drunk together that your friendship bloomed. Ever since then he has been your closest friend. Eventually, you and he decided that the student dorm weren’t for you two anymore and decided to rent an apartment.

You got ready and made your way into the kitchen. The biggest pro about living was Jimin – he was an amazing cook. The smell of blueberry pancakes reached your nose and your pace picked up a bit. He stood in the kitchen with his apron on flipping a pan of pancake batter.

“Did the smell of pancakes bring you back to life?”

You gave him your most sarcastic smile while grabbing your coffee cup. Jimin thankfully had the coffee machine on and filled with your favourite coffee.

“Why do you want to go to this fair so badly?”

You questioned him while pouring your coffee. He rolled his eyes and threw the completed pancakes onto your plate.

“You are honestly no fun ____. It’s just school and sleeping with you?”

His annoying attitude made you sigh. You just wanted to eat pancakes. You knew you liked keeping yourself busy with school. It helped keep your mind off things that were worrying you. Although you enjoyed having fun, you preferred having it in small doses.

“Sorry Jimin. I promise we’ll have fun and maybe we could go out to a club or something with our friends later?”

Jimin's demeanour immediately shifted and his eyes softened when he looked at you. A smile spread across his entire face. He pushed the plate of pancakes towards you.

“Sounds like a plan ____.”

An hour later, you and Jimin had left your house and were walking towards the fairground. The smell of cotton candy and the yelling of children indicated you were getting closer. Jimin started to jump in excitement. He grabbed your wrist to keep up with his pace.

“Come on ____!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his dorkiness. Jimin had really taught you to indulge in the little things in life. Even if it was just a fairground.

When you both finally reached the fair, Jimin immediately went over to the prize-winning stalls. He looked almost like a child as he rushed you towards them, the fairy lights hitting his skin so beautifully.

People always wondered why you and Jimin were never an item. You honestly didn’t know why either. When you first met him you were still getting over your breakup and wasn’t looking for love. Jimin also wasn’t interested as he wanted to focus on school. You both also regularly hooked up with people and the other person couldn’t care less. You sometimes just felt like he was a big brother to you. He just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy. You never had that spark of love that you felt and he gave no indication that he was interested romantically for you.

“I’m going to win that bear!” He said with too much confidence in his tone.

His finger was pointed to a large fluffy white bear clutching a cartoon heart. It was silly but cute. Jimin marched over to the stall. He was surrounded by little children which made him look a giant towering over them. You could feel the second-hand embarrassment overwhelm you so much that you had to look away and laugh.

When it was Jimin’s turn he slammed his money on the table. The aim of the game was to shot down the metal cups stacked up with a fake gun. A massive scam you thought but Jimin was determined to win. He overdramatically picked up the gun and loaded it. All the children were watching with excitement. He brought the gun up to rest near his eye. Surprisingly, you could feel the tension the children and Jimin had. He wrapped his finger around the trigger. He took the smallest sigh to relax himself.

“This one is for you ____”.

He said as he pulled the trigger. A large bang from the gun came out as the plastic bullet was fired. Along with it was the clashing of the metal cups all falling over. You didn’t even notice that your mouth had dropped. The children roared and cheered Jimin with joy. Jimin blushed and shrugged his shoulders like it was nothing. You couldn’t help but cheer for him

“Great-

-Shot!” You yelled at him. Jungkook smirked and grinned at you. He pointed to the bear and asked for it. He carried it towards you and made it wave at you. You rolled your eyes at him. He could be such a goofball sometimes. You took the bear off him and he interlocked your hand with his. You both walked around the fair. The fairy lights made Jungkook look almost angelic even though he was more ink than actual skin. He was honestly beautiful.

“What are starting at?”

He questioned looking down at you. You were caught red-handed gushing over him. But you didn’t care, you wanted him to know that he was pretty.

“My boyfriend is so handsome.”

You replied in a giggly voice. He immediately lost his cool appearance and you saw him blush. You couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Ohh is my Jungkookie blushing?”

You rested your head on his shoulder. He looked at the ground in hopes that you wouldn’t see him smiling like an idiot. You loved seeing him embarrassed with compliments.

“Stop it ____.”

He threatened as he could still see you enjoying watching him suffer. But his threat fell upon deaf ears.

“I can’t help it! My baby is so cute and precious! I love him so much!”

You proceeded to wrapped your small arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly. He let out the cutest giggle you’ve ever heard. You were smiling, pleased with yourself that you were making Jungkook relaxed for once.

“Okay that’s it!”

He yelled at you. He used his superior strength and spun around and before you knew it you were lift off the ground.

“Jungkook, stop it now!!”

You squealed like a child. He laughed hard and spun you around. You could feel the strange looks you were getting from passing people. Jungkook couldn’t care less. He wanted to show everyone that you two were a couple.

“This is so corny!”

He soon placed you back down onto the ground. You could feel the dizziness of him spinning you around. You looked up at him with a look of annoyance. He just smirked back down at you enjoying seeing you pissed. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and kissed your forehead.

You both continued walking until Jungkook stopped in front of the ferris wheel. He raised his eyebrow looking at you.

“Shall we?”

He said in a posh accent. He held his hand out to you and you gladly accepted. Jungkook paid and you both sat down on the seat. As you both sat waiting for the ride to start you let out a small shiver. Jungkook immediately turned to protective mode.

“Are you cold?”

He said concerned. You shook your head. He rolled his eyes and removed his long wool coat and threw it over your shoulders. You were thankful he didn’t get onto you about not bringing a coat when he told you to. You thanked him and secured the coat over you. He gave your hands a rub when he felt how cold they were. The ride began with a jolt and soon you and Jungkook were both in the air.

It was one of the most peaceful moments in your life. As you got higher the children’s screams were less loud and there was a light breeze. You were basking in this when Jungkook spoke up.

“Where do you see us?”

He asked. You weren’t expecting such a loaded question.

“What?”

“In the future. What do you see us doing?”

You stared at him in thought. You honestly haven’t thought about the future. You were just focused on school and your relationships. All you knew is that college was the main plan. Other than that nothing crossed your mind.

“I don’t know.”

You replied honestly. Jungkook laid his hand on your thigh. He starred at you with a hint of seriousness.

“I was thinking. If you wanted to of course. My roommate is moving out of the apartment. So I thought maybe I could move out as well and get a nicer apartment. And maybe we could move in together. Like when you go to college.”

You looked at him for what felt like five minutes. He was asking you to move in together after you finished high school.

“I know it’s a stupid idea. I just thought that we were getting serious now.”

You quickly pecked him on the lips to shut him up.

“I would love to Jungkook.”

A smile immediately spread on his face. His eyes danced all over your face as if to check if you were being serious. In happiness, he cupped your face and kissed you slowly.

“I love you so much baby girl.”

He whispered and returned back to kissing your lips.

“Say it back baby.”

“I love you Jungkook.”

You both sat kissing each other's faces until the ride stopped. You and him both hooped off and suddenly the smell of food entered your nostrils. Jungkook looked down at you beaming.

“Churros?”

Jimin strutted over to you, keen to show off his winning prize. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. He held it out to you as an offering.

“There is barely any room in my bedroom for that.”

You explained laughing. He pouted and held it under his arm. The rest of the day with Jimin was lovely. You and he both ate cotton candy and people watched. You went on a lot of fun rides which made you scream and laugh. Jimin forced you to go on the scary ghost ride with him which nearly made you die of fear. You had your face buried in his shoulder the entire ride while he bellowed with laughter.

Before you both realised the sun was about to set. Jimin’s skin was literally glowing from the sun’s kisses. You couldn’t help to admire his looks. He was very handsome. Even when his hair was messed up from all the rides you and he had been on.

“Do I have food on my face?”

He asked unknowingly. You snapped out of your daydream and shook your head.  You could have sworn that you saw Jimin smirk when he continued walking.  You decided to switch the conversation to avoid any more embarrassment.  

“So are you going to invite that girl you’ve been talking to?”

You questioned him, giving your eyebrows a sly wiggle. Jimin acted confused.

“Huh? Who are you talking about?”

You rolled your eyes and laughed at his ambiguity.  

“You know who I’m talking about Jimin, the girl that’s been coming over to our flat in the late hours.”

You dragged your words, teasing him. You bet he thought he was being sneaky bringing the girl in his maths class home. You honestly didn’t really mind. However, there had been a few incidents where due to the noises coming from his room, you found it more difficult to get to sleep.

 Jimin turned into a cute innocent boy. He placed his hand over his heart and gasped.

“Me?! No way. Also we were studying…”

You crossed your arms and gave him a look of “yeah right Jimin”. He immediately confessed.

“Yes, I’m inviting her but its not serious. But _____, you’re not so innocent either! What about that boy I found in our kitchen making coffee for you and him??”

It was your turn to be defensive. You shook your head and gave him a shove with your entire body. He hardly nudged.  You knew he was talking about your former lab partner, who you finally allowed to your pants after he wouldn’t stop bothering you.

“That’s not the same! That was one night, and you were supposed to be out that night!”

He hummed a reply. You both silently agreed that you both were incapable of having an actual relationship. Jimin pulled his watch out.

“Shit _____, we need to get back to the apartment, we’ll have to leave soon.”

“Relax Jimin, we have plenty of time to get ready.”

“Anytime today _____?”

You rolled your eyes at his comment and continued slipping on your high heels. The clock above reading 10:42. Both of you were late meeting up with your friends. Jimin had just texted them to start with you two. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror giving your hair a fix then went down to the kitchen where Jimin was.

Jimin turned to you hearing you enter. His mouth was open to say something sarcastic to you but stopped when he saw you. His eyes were scanning all over your figure. He was used to seeing you in hoodies and sweatpants, not in a dress as tight as this.

“What?”

You quizzed him, confused to why your friend was just staring at you. He finally closed his mouth and straightened himself up.

“You look pretty.”

That was all he said. You felt your cheeks turn rosy at his comment. You gave his outfit a scan as well. Black jeans with a ripped that highlighted his long legs and a simple but smart shirt with the top three buttons undone.

“Not so bad yourself Jimin.”

Your hands reached for the two shots Jimin poured and you handed on to him. You both raised your glasses to the ceiling.

“A toast to a great fucking night!”

Jimin said and smashed his glass with yours. Heads facing up, the strong vodka fell down into each other’s throats with a burn. It was also probably the last discernible memory you had that night.

Fast forward to 1am, your ears have stopped hurting from the loud bass coming from the sound system in this club. You were into your fourth shot and god knows how much other drinks you’ve had. The neon lights had you feeling some kind of way and all you wanted to do was dance. You and your female friend were dancing to some throwback 90’s song. A mixture of you two laughing and singing along made you feel euphoric.  When the song drew to a close, your friend leaned in and said she was going to get a drink. You booed her, wanting to stay and dance some more. She warned you not to leave where you were standing and she’ll be right back. Unfortunately, she had no idea how actually drunk you were. As soon as she turned away and the next song began, you found yourself in the middle of a group of sweaty strangers.

You continued dancing by yourself. Soon you felt rough hands on your hips. You turned your head to be faced with a random boy. He was handsome you thought or maybe you were just drunk. You leaned back into his chest. As you reached up to touch his neck, his body was suddenly gone near you. Glancing behind you, Jimin was jostling the man away. You didn’t even get to process what was happening when Jimin stomped towards you. He gripped your waist tightly and buried his head into your neck.

“Dance with me _____.”

His breath was laced with alcohol. He guided your body as you swayed your hips into him. You could hear his soft groan vibrate on your neck. You wrapped your arm around his neck, tracing your fingers on his skin. Leaning back into him, you pushed your ass into his crotch. His lips copied your neck with a sigh, taking in your scent.

“Just like that baby.”

Suddenly he spun you around to face him. With his hands cupped around your jaw, he pulled your lips into his. Like chocolate, you and he melted into each other. Your hands gripped his t-shirt in an attempt to pull him in closer. He bit your bottom lip and returned his pump lips back to your mouth. Jimin deepened the kissed, overlapping his tongue on your lips. You granted him entrance and he slithered in his tongue.  He made you feel so good. It was overwhelming.

You pulled apart from the kiss. Jimin leaned his forehead onto yours. His lips were stained with your lipstick. He smirked at you with his lustful eyes. As you stared back at him, a sudden fear of unknown dread-filled your body. You took note of the way he was cupping your face. How you possibly just ruined your friendship with him.

As an automatic reaction, you were taking steps back without even noticing. Jimin stared at you like an alien.

“_____?”

He yelled at you, taking a step towards.  An impulse of distress caused you to turn around and you rushed upstairs. Your head was spinning with thoughts that your drunken brain couldn’t handle.  You felt guilt-ridden and sick.  The mix of the two feelings had your stomach-churning. Scanning your area, your eyes landed on the bathroom. Dashing over to it, you swung the door open. As you were ready to hurl yourself over the toilet seat, you came to the realisation that you were not alone in the bathroom.

Your blurry vision could make out two bodies pushed up against the wall. One was on the sink and their legs were wrapped around the other. The music was muted in the room so the sound of lips kissing echoed through the small bathroom. It was abruptly stopped as the two faces were now twisted towards you. Realising you were being a cockblocker, you threw your head down to the ground.

“Sorry, keep kissing.”

You slurred. You grabbed the door handle and pulled the push door. After your drunk-ass finally figured out the door was pushed, a voice spoke up that rebounded in the room.

“_________?”

“Jungkook?”

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fate

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x ?

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 2.3k

Prologue/1, (on-going)

2 years ago

Yet again he stood. He always stood in the same place. Always parked in the same place. His eyes would immediately land on you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You would watch him with the most innocent stare. You were so young. His cigarette would balance gently on his hand as he leaned back on his car. You would still get the occasional whisper from girls at your school about your older boyfriend and his charms. But he would never pay any attention to it, just keep his gaze locked on you. When you would finally stand in front of him, he would take one long last drag of his cigarette and proceed to stomp on it with his big black boots. Every time you smelt the grey smoke from cigarettes, you are forever reminded of him and his lips. He would then proceed to push his weight off from the car and hold the passenger door open for you. Pathetically you would blush at his action.  When he sat on his seat, he would turn on his radio to play some slow indie song. You never knew the name of those songs. When he drove, we would often sit in silence. He was a quiet man around people and you. The only difference was that he would actually pay attention and think of something to say. Though he didn’t talk a lot his words held a lot more meaning compared to others. you knew he had a lot on his mind. Unfortunately, your friends were not convinced in the slightest. They told you he has no emotions and lacks the heart to love someone. Your parents were unimpressed by his tattoos and smoking habit.  They didn’t know him like you did.

Halfway through the ride his hands would always fall on your thigh while he drove. You knew it wasn’t a sexual thing- he wouldn’t try it. You knew that it was because he craved touch. But he never would admit that to anyone. You would sometimes hold his hand in place. Often drawing outlines of the tattoos on his skin. Eventually, you would end up in the driveway of the local diner. You and him both agreed one day that it was the best place to get food on a student budget. You remembered the first time he took you to this dinner. You couldn’t even look at him and you just stared at your lap. But you could always feel his eyes on me.  You both would sit down in the back of the dinner in one of the booths. Jungkook said it was for privacy. But you saw it was actually because he didn’t want people seeing him laugh hard. In the diner, Jungkook looked so handsome. You think the red neon lights on his smooth skin in contrast with the black ink was the reason. You would always order a coffee pot and sometimes share some fries. Jungkook’s cigarette habit had caused him to lose his appetite frequently but you would each time find a way to shove something down his throat.  He would ask you how school was. You would say the usual stuff about work, friends and annoying teachers. He would talk about his day at the tattoo parlour. He would begin talking about how he came up with a design then without notice turn into a big ramble about the intricacy of tattooing. You never would change the subject. His is the only time you would see much passion in his eyes. You’re certain that it was one of the reasons you fell in love with him.

After you and he finished eating, you would make our way back to his car. You both would sit, and you would let him have a smoke. One time he told you he would go off them for good but it only lasted for two days. When he finished, he would drive towards your house. Sometimes he would invite me over to his parents’ house. You loved his family and their food was always delicious. His mum would always embarrass him with stories of when he was young. You would always find them hilarious but Jungkook would just blush. Your parents, however, weren’t really pleased with your older boyfriend. The tattoos and smoking scared them too much. They thought that you were just in a rebel phase. Although you appreciated that Jungkook tried to make an effort with them, but they never changed their opinion on them. You ended up telling him that he didn’t have to interact with them anymore.

When we pulled into your driveway, Jungkook turned off the radio and the engine. He would rotate his entire body on the seat, so he was facing you. He would always just stare. “What are you gawking at?”, you would joke at him. He would just lean in smirking and say, “My beautiful girlfriend.” He would proceed to cup your face with his large hands and plant a kiss on your lips. It was always so gentle but so passionate. When he would pull away, you were always out of breath.

“Will you phone me tonight?” he questioned.  “Of course,” you responded with a laugh. I brought up your hand and brushed through his black hair. You know he loved it when I did that. Just then his phone buzzed. He quickly pulled it out from his pocket.

“It’s my mum”, he said, “My dinner is on.”

You never failed to make fun of him for this. He was such a mummy’s boy and it always made your heart soft. You would pull him in for another kiss and leave another one on his neck before pulling away. I could see his heart stopped and he just smirked at me.

“See you tomorrow”, you yelled before opening your door.

You and Jungkook relationship was so strong at this point. You loved him and he loved me. Who would know that on that night we would break up.

Later that night, you were sat at my desk trying to finish a horrible English essay that was due for the next day. A buzz was heard on your phone. Having an opportunity to avoid homework you grabbed your phone. It was a text from your best friend. It was only three simple words.

Do. It. Tonight.

Immediately you knew what she meant. You hated yourself for putting it off for so long. Your heart sank to the bottom of your core. You were very aware it was evitable that it would have to be done. You pulled your desk draw open to see the letter. It was an acceptance letter from the university. It was a letter to say that you got in. Initially, when you received the letter you were overjoyed. Sadness arose when you remembered that it was across the country.

You received the letter about a month ago, yet you still haven’t gotten the courage to tell Jungkook. You honestly don’t know how he would react. The only thing you knew was that you would have to break your relationship apart with. Putting it aside wasn’t helpful either, now you are leaving in a month and you still haven’t told him.  You decided that tonight is the night you will tell him. You let out a large sigh and placed your head in your hands. It wasn’t going to be easy.

Clutching the phone, you hit Jungkook’s number and held it up to your ear. Please don’t pick up you thought as the ringing was excruciatingly slow.

“Hey babe!” Jungkook yelled into the phone.

He sounded like he was in a good mood which only made your heart ache more.

“Hey Jungkook, are you busy right now?”

“Sorry ____, just give me one second.”

Silence was on the other end of the line. Ten seconds had passed with no sound of his voice.

“Jungkook?”

Just then a soft knock was heard behind you. You swung round to see your boyfriend leaning on your window, his eyebrow raised. You leapt up and pulled up your window.

“Isn’t this breaking into my house?”

Jungkook kissed your check and threw his legs into your room.

“I knew your parents would send me home if I rang your doorbell.”

He threw himself on your bed, spreading his arms wide across it. “Why is your bed so much cosier than mine?”

“Because I actually wash mine.”

“Wrong, because you sleep in this bed,” he said giving one of the pillows a sniff.

You rolled your eyes and sneered at his goofiness. Your eyes caught his travelling along your body. He was eyeing the satin shorts you were wearing along with his shirt that you stole.

“Cute pyjamas babe”, he smirked.

The way he lay on your bed and how he was in such a good mood made you want to forget about telling him tonight. No, you can’t keep doing this to him. It wasn’t fair.

“What are you thinking about?” he questioned. He thought it was odd that you hadn’t crawled on top of him.

You bit your lip not wanting to look at him. He immediately sat up and pushed himself to the edge of the bed. A million things were rushing through his head about what could be bothering you. He pulled you down to sit next to him on the bed. Holding your hands in his, he moved his head to engage eye contact with you.

“Talk to me ___”.

You stared at him and an overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over you.

“I’m so sorry”, you said. His face was a mix of concern and confusion.

“I got into my first choice of college.” You explained.

You thought you were going to be sick when you could see his face slowly drop. He was realising what you were implying. You tore your eyes off him and focus on the black contrasting ink on his hands.

“It’s 200 miles away”, you stated.

Jungkook dropped his hands from your and stared straight at the wall. His face now looked like one of someone who is in mourning. He was mourning you and his relationship. You released how quiet everything had become, almost like the world had just stopped.

“Why didn’t you say anything,” Jungkook said.

“I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

Had?!” he barked, “So you just assume that if you didn’t tell me it wouldn’t actually happen and you wouldn’t have to talk about us in the past tense?”

He now has stood up and pacing around your room. His hand is running through his hair in frustration.

“I just didn’t want you to be upset and I wanted to pretend everything was okay.”

You could see his chest rising and falling quickly. He began to shake his head.

“No, no, no” he repeated, “We can’t break up. Don’t do this to me.”

He stopped moving and stared at you waiting for you to reply. His eyes were filled with desperation. You weren’t going to speak as you knew that you would burst out into a stream of tears.

When your reply was silence, Jungkook proceeded to fall on his knees in front of you. He grabbed your hands and held them in his. His grip was so tight.

“Please _____.”

You couldn’t handle your wave of emotions and they came out in the form of tears. You buried your face pathetically; you didn’t want him to see you like this. Guilt immediately rushed over Jungkook faced and you could make out the smallest whimper that came out of his mouth. Before you could make any movements, his hands pushed your body down on your bed.

“My baby,” he breathed. He shushed you quietly and laid on top of you. He began to kiss your tears away and wrapped his arms around you tightly. It was like he was trying to protect you or maybe he just needed to hold you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear in order to calm you down. His kisses continued you all over your face.  His whispers were slowly becoming more coherent.

“I love you”

“I love you”

“I love you”

He kept repeating these words as he held you safe in his arms. You heard him say these words before. But this felt different. Knowing that these words were meant for you and for you to hear them only come out from his lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. He grabbed your duvet and threw it over both of you. He pulled you into his chest so the only thing you could smell was his scent. The aroma relaxed you immediately.

“Jungkook.” You said.

He shushed you again. His fingers caressed your hair slowly.

“This is it ____”, he stated. “This is how I want to remember you. How I want you to remember us.”

You closed your eyes tight. This was the end of you two.  All those nights you two visualized about your future, growing old together and marrying were now nothing but fantasies. You and he could do nothing about it.

You both silently agreed this is how you would spend your last moments. You in his arms. Both of you uttering your love for one and other. It was beautiful.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change the fact that you and he just broke up. It didn’t change the fact that you woke up the next day to find him gone from your embrace. It was the last time you ever saw him.  

A/N: guess who is back from the dead?

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No More // Min Yoongi

Summary: You and Yoongi relationship as always been strong. You both have been through thick and thin. However, the stress of not seeing him for long periods has made you reach your breaking point...

Min Yoongi x Reader

Angst, Drabble

Words: 1,854

Warning: Swear words!

A/N; Hey everyone! I was feeling a bit low and thought it would be a good idea to vent out my feelings writing. I hope you enjoy this drabble!

There was no denying it anymore. You had reached your breaking point. You knew you couldn’t go on like this. No matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, it was too unbearable. you were no longer happy.

You closed your suitcase stuffed with your belongings. While it appeared a simple task, your heart ached. You and his bedroom look almost empty. You had placed only one picture of him in your suitcase. Min Yoongi was not going to be a part of your life anymore.

You knew it wasn’t his fault. Yoongi wouldn’t have done anything to make you upset. It was his job. Months at a time you would be alone in the apartment. While he made a commitment to call you every night it wasn’t fulfilling enough. Due to time zones, you would be awake at 4am waiting for his call, desperate to hear his deep voice. The sound of your phone ringing always made your heart leap with relief.

"I miss you so much ____" he would whisper into the phone. You would say it back quieter as it almost felt painful to say.

When he would get back, you would be waiting at the airport to see him arrive back. When you both finally make eye contact after one or two months you couldn’t help but smile. He would grin back like an idiot then proceed to run to you and hug you. In those moments nothing else existed, just you and him. When you both drove back home, your hand would be intertwined with his. His thumb would always trace around the skin of your hand. A small detail but one you treasured. At home, you both would collapse on the couch. Your legs would lace with his and his head rested next to yours. Here, you two would lay for hours watching whatever was on TV. You knew he was exhausted and you respected that. During these times, he would always be affectionate. There was never a time you both were together and not touching each other in some way. It was almost a way of making up for the times when both unable to physically be there with each other. You craved these moments.

On few occasions, he would decide you both needed to get out of the house. Going out would sometimes involve getting a coffee, going to the cinema or eating at a restaurant. His ever-growing fame restricted both of you going into public places. You didn't care however, as long as Yoongi was with you everything seemed perfect. As you both would walk hand in hand, he would always lean into you and whisper softly, "I'm completely in love with you ____." This words along with him gripping your hand tighter made all the worries vanish.

But your breaking point was reached. Pressure was building up in you like a volcano. Rumours were flying about your and his relationship. While he always told you to ignore what people write it was hard to overlook it. It had been too long since you last seen him. His daily phone calls turned into weekly phone calls then slowly resulting in a month without hearing from him. Endless nights spent crying resulted in your final decision. You knew there was no reason to continue the relationship you had with Yoongi.

You wanted to tell him in person. Not through a phone with terrible signal. When he texted you if you were picking him up at the airport and you responded with a plain "no" gave a darkening warning sign to Yoongi.

The sound of keys unlocking your apartment door pulled you out of your thoughts. Your heart had begun to sink down in your body.

"____?" Yoongi whispered releasing the silence that was in the apartment. Him only calling your name was tempting enough to change your mind. But you knew you had to stay firm to your decision.

You walked out of your kitchen and turned into the hall where the front door was located. As soon as his eyes meet yours, he knew what exactly was happening. His thoughts were confirmed true when his eyes travelled down to meet your suitcase. He gently placed his bag on the floor not daring to take his eyes off you. For a minute either of you didn't say a word. Both of you were processing what was happening. You swore to yourself if he said anything you would break down in tears.

"Was it me?" He questioned quietly.

You shook your head breaking eye contact with him. You couldn't look at his expression he had.

"You were everything I loved" You said looking down at your shoes, "It was me."

Yoongi's shoulders slouched down with dread. His mouth was opened but no sound came out of it.

"I will be staying at my friend’s apartment until I find another place to stay", you explained, "If I have something of yours that you want back just let-"

"I'm sorry" He said cutting you off.

You swallowed hard, "Yoongi, you did nothing wrong. There is no need to apologize."

"Yes I do" he says more louder. He steps towards you and before you could step away his hands were cupping yours.

"I'm the worst. I haven't been talking to you since I left. I haven't even made an effort. You've been left alone here constantly while I go and have the time of my life. You sit and wait for my stupid phone calls every night. I'm surrounded by my dreams while you sit and watch. Holy fuck ____, I can't even take my own girlfriend out on a date. I'm so sorry ____. Please forgive me!"

While he was spilling all his feelings out, you looked down at the ground. You couldn't face him. At that moment you didn't know what to do.

"Please _____" He pleaded gripping your hands tighter. "Look at me!" "____, I need you to see me."

Your tears were now appearing. You shook your head aggressively. His pleads kept hitting your heart. Before you could think, you realised you could hear him crying. Your eyes immediately shot up to him. His bloodshot eyes meet yours again. He cupped your face with his large hands so you couldn't look anywhere but at him.

"____ listen" he sniffled, "You have made me so happy. You are the only person in this world that has never failed to make me smile. I have never had any feelings like this for anyone before. Your voice can make my whole day. Don't you see what you do to me? You have taught me how I can fall in love. But now I don't think I fall in love with anyone else. Please don't ever think I took you and your love for granted _____."

You sobbed quietly. Just as you always did, your arms stretched around his waist and buried your face into his chest. His hand rested on the back of your head and one on the small of your back to pull you closer to him. Your sense of smell was more sensitive and you took in the scent of his cologne. It was as if your senses were aware this would be the last time you would be in his arms. You just wanted to stay like this.

"Nothing will change Yoongi" You pulled away from him. "I'm still leaving".

His body was frozen. His eyes transfixed on your face, looking for any hope. There was no point. You weren't backing down from your decision. It would benefit you and him.

You gripped your suitcase. You gave him one last look. Taking in every bit of detail of him. You leaned in and kissed him soft as ever on his lips.

"I'll always love you"

You nodded at his words. Your eyes just stared at the door and you went and gripped it open. Giving him one last glance, he stood staring at you. You smiled at him and shut the door gently. You had officially left your boyfriend.

That night your friend's spare bed seemed too big for only you. Everything has changed. Your tears soaked the pillow as you relived all your memories with him one last time.

Goodbye for now Min Yoongi...

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