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love myself

@artist-tae / artist-tae.tumblr.com

love yourself • she/her • 19
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fate

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x ?

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 2.3k

Prologue/1, (on-going)

2 years ago

Yet again he stood. He always stood in the same place. Always parked in the same place. His eyes would immediately land on you as soon as you stepped out of the building. You would watch him with the most innocent stare. You were so young. His cigarette would balance gently on his hand as he leaned back on his car. You would still get the occasional whisper from girls at your school about your older boyfriend and his charms. But he would never pay any attention to it, just keep his gaze locked on you. When you would finally stand in front of him, he would take one long last drag of his cigarette and proceed to stomp on it with his big black boots. Every time you smelt the grey smoke from cigarettes, you are forever reminded of him and his lips. He would then proceed to push his weight off from the car and hold the passenger door open for you. Pathetically you would blush at his action.  When he sat on his seat, he would turn on his radio to play some slow indie song. You never knew the name of those songs. When he drove, we would often sit in silence. He was a quiet man around people and you. The only difference was that he would actually pay attention and think of something to say. Though he didn’t talk a lot his words held a lot more meaning compared to others. you knew he had a lot on his mind. Unfortunately, your friends were not convinced in the slightest. They told you he has no emotions and lacks the heart to love someone. Your parents were unimpressed by his tattoos and smoking habit.  They didn’t know him like you did.

Halfway through the ride his hands would always fall on your thigh while he drove. You knew it wasn’t a sexual thing- he wouldn’t try it. You knew that it was because he craved touch. But he never would admit that to anyone. You would sometimes hold his hand in place. Often drawing outlines of the tattoos on his skin. Eventually, you would end up in the driveway of the local diner. You and him both agreed one day that it was the best place to get food on a student budget. You remembered the first time he took you to this dinner. You couldn’t even look at him and you just stared at your lap. But you could always feel his eyes on me.  You both would sit down in the back of the dinner in one of the booths. Jungkook said it was for privacy. But you saw it was actually because he didn’t want people seeing him laugh hard. In the diner, Jungkook looked so handsome. You think the red neon lights on his smooth skin in contrast with the black ink was the reason. You would always order a coffee pot and sometimes share some fries. Jungkook’s cigarette habit had caused him to lose his appetite frequently but you would each time find a way to shove something down his throat.  He would ask you how school was. You would say the usual stuff about work, friends and annoying teachers. He would talk about his day at the tattoo parlour. He would begin talking about how he came up with a design then without notice turn into a big ramble about the intricacy of tattooing. You never would change the subject. His is the only time you would see much passion in his eyes. You’re certain that it was one of the reasons you fell in love with him.

After you and he finished eating, you would make our way back to his car. You both would sit, and you would let him have a smoke. One time he told you he would go off them for good but it only lasted for two days. When he finished, he would drive towards your house. Sometimes he would invite me over to his parents’ house. You loved his family and their food was always delicious. His mum would always embarrass him with stories of when he was young. You would always find them hilarious but Jungkook would just blush. Your parents, however, weren’t really pleased with your older boyfriend. The tattoos and smoking scared them too much. They thought that you were just in a rebel phase. Although you appreciated that Jungkook tried to make an effort with them, but they never changed their opinion on them. You ended up telling him that he didn’t have to interact with them anymore.

When we pulled into your driveway, Jungkook turned off the radio and the engine. He would rotate his entire body on the seat, so he was facing you. He would always just stare. “What are you gawking at?”, you would joke at him. He would just lean in smirking and say, “My beautiful girlfriend.” He would proceed to cup your face with his large hands and plant a kiss on your lips. It was always so gentle but so passionate. When he would pull away, you were always out of breath.

“Will you phone me tonight?” he questioned.  “Of course,” you responded with a laugh. I brought up your hand and brushed through his black hair. You know he loved it when I did that. Just then his phone buzzed. He quickly pulled it out from his pocket.

“It’s my mum”, he said, “My dinner is on.”

You never failed to make fun of him for this. He was such a mummy’s boy and it always made your heart soft. You would pull him in for another kiss and leave another one on his neck before pulling away. I could see his heart stopped and he just smirked at me.

“See you tomorrow”, you yelled before opening your door.

You and Jungkook relationship was so strong at this point. You loved him and he loved me. Who would know that on that night we would break up.

Later that night, you were sat at my desk trying to finish a horrible English essay that was due for the next day. A buzz was heard on your phone. Having an opportunity to avoid homework you grabbed your phone. It was a text from your best friend. It was only three simple words.

Do. It. Tonight.

Immediately you knew what she meant. You hated yourself for putting it off for so long. Your heart sank to the bottom of your core. You were very aware it was evitable that it would have to be done. You pulled your desk draw open to see the letter. It was an acceptance letter from the university. It was a letter to say that you got in. Initially, when you received the letter you were overjoyed. Sadness arose when you remembered that it was across the country.

You received the letter about a month ago, yet you still haven’t gotten the courage to tell Jungkook. You honestly don’t know how he would react. The only thing you knew was that you would have to break your relationship apart with. Putting it aside wasn’t helpful either, now you are leaving in a month and you still haven’t told him.  You decided that tonight is the night you will tell him. You let out a large sigh and placed your head in your hands. It wasn’t going to be easy.

Clutching the phone, you hit Jungkook’s number and held it up to your ear. Please don’t pick up you thought as the ringing was excruciatingly slow.

“Hey babe!” Jungkook yelled into the phone.

He sounded like he was in a good mood which only made your heart ache more.

“Hey Jungkook, are you busy right now?”

“Sorry ____, just give me one second.”

Silence was on the other end of the line. Ten seconds had passed with no sound of his voice.

“Jungkook?”

Just then a soft knock was heard behind you. You swung round to see your boyfriend leaning on your window, his eyebrow raised. You leapt up and pulled up your window.

“Isn’t this breaking into my house?”

Jungkook kissed your check and threw his legs into your room.

“I knew your parents would send me home if I rang your doorbell.”

He threw himself on your bed, spreading his arms wide across it. “Why is your bed so much cosier than mine?”

“Because I actually wash mine.”

“Wrong, because you sleep in this bed,” he said giving one of the pillows a sniff.

You rolled your eyes and sneered at his goofiness. Your eyes caught his travelling along your body. He was eyeing the satin shorts you were wearing along with his shirt that you stole.

“Cute pyjamas babe”, he smirked.

The way he lay on your bed and how he was in such a good mood made you want to forget about telling him tonight. No, you can’t keep doing this to him. It wasn’t fair.

“What are you thinking about?” he questioned. He thought it was odd that you hadn’t crawled on top of him.

You bit your lip not wanting to look at him. He immediately sat up and pushed himself to the edge of the bed. A million things were rushing through his head about what could be bothering you. He pulled you down to sit next to him on the bed. Holding your hands in his, he moved his head to engage eye contact with you.

“Talk to me ___”.

You stared at him and an overwhelming feeling of guilt washed over you.

“I’m so sorry”, you said. His face was a mix of concern and confusion.

“I got into my first choice of college.” You explained.

You thought you were going to be sick when you could see his face slowly drop. He was realising what you were implying. You tore your eyes off him and focus on the black contrasting ink on his hands.

“It’s 200 miles away”, you stated.

Jungkook dropped his hands from your and stared straight at the wall. His face now looked like one of someone who is in mourning. He was mourning you and his relationship. You released how quiet everything had become, almost like the world had just stopped.

“Why didn’t you say anything,” Jungkook said.

“I didn’t want to ruin what we had.”

Had?!” he barked, “So you just assume that if you didn’t tell me it wouldn’t actually happen and you wouldn’t have to talk about us in the past tense?”

He now has stood up and pacing around your room. His hand is running through his hair in frustration.

“I just didn’t want you to be upset and I wanted to pretend everything was okay.”

You could see his chest rising and falling quickly. He began to shake his head.

“No, no, no” he repeated, “We can’t break up. Don’t do this to me.”

He stopped moving and stared at you waiting for you to reply. His eyes were filled with desperation. You weren’t going to speak as you knew that you would burst out into a stream of tears.

When your reply was silence, Jungkook proceeded to fall on his knees in front of you. He grabbed your hands and held them in his. His grip was so tight.

“Please _____.”

You couldn’t handle your wave of emotions and they came out in the form of tears. You buried your face pathetically; you didn’t want him to see you like this. Guilt immediately rushed over Jungkook faced and you could make out the smallest whimper that came out of his mouth. Before you could make any movements, his hands pushed your body down on your bed.

“My baby,” he breathed. He shushed you quietly and laid on top of you. He began to kiss your tears away and wrapped his arms around you tightly. It was like he was trying to protect you or maybe he just needed to hold you. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear in order to calm you down. His kisses continued you all over your face.  His whispers were slowly becoming more coherent.

“I love you”

“I love you”

“I love you”

He kept repeating these words as he held you safe in his arms. You heard him say these words before. But this felt different. Knowing that these words were meant for you and for you to hear them only come out from his lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck. He grabbed your duvet and threw it over both of you. He pulled you into his chest so the only thing you could smell was his scent. The aroma relaxed you immediately.

“Jungkook.” You said.

He shushed you again. His fingers caressed your hair slowly.

“This is it ____”, he stated. “This is how I want to remember you. How I want you to remember us.”

You closed your eyes tight. This was the end of you two.  All those nights you two visualized about your future, growing old together and marrying were now nothing but fantasies. You and he could do nothing about it.

You both silently agreed this is how you would spend your last moments. You in his arms. Both of you uttering your love for one and other. It was beautiful.

Unfortunately, it didn’t change the fact that you and he just broke up. It didn’t change the fact that you woke up the next day to find him gone from your embrace. It was the last time you ever saw him.  

A/N: guess who is back from the dead?

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Why didnt oc think of doing a Long distance relationship..did she think that itll not work? Or she just wants to focus on studying?

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She just wanted to focus on studying. Jungkook and her both knew they couldn't do long distance, they wouldn't manage not being able see or touch each other. That's why they decided to break up :)

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Haiii!! I just found Fate and its really good!! I love it..although chapter 5 made me really cry..because it hit me hard when jungkook said that oc is the only one he got..that really hit me because after that hes going away from the city where oc is currently...i suddenly realized that hes gone back to zero ..he already said to oc that he doesnt want to be lonely but she broke his heart the 2nd time.. why cant she say ily back to jimin yet she choses jimin but she cant say that she doesnt love jungkook anymore.. i got attached to the fic because its so amazing!!

Can i ask did jungkook stopped going to college?? (Wait is it college?🤡) Or oc didnt said that she was going to go for her first?? Chosen school.??

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Hiii!! I'm so happy to hear you liked chapter 5, I hope you didn't cry too much haha!!! Yeah Jungkook isn't doing to great at the moment lmao. The OC is struggling to chose between her past with jungkook or her future with Jimin. Which one will she chose??

And for your question! I mention in the story in the beginning that Jungkook was older than her. But I didn't mention that he was one year older than her which explains why he wasn't attending high school! OC went to her first choice of college across the country but later on Jungkook ended up moving there for work which explains why they meet again. Hope this helps, any more questions please ask!!!

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fate (jungkook x fem!reader)

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 2.6k 

Chapter 5/6   (1)  (2)  (3)  (4) 

The empty silence of your room was dreadful. Your head was spinning from you overthinking and you could not relax all day. You sat on your bed staring at the wall, deep in thought. Visions of Jungkook filled your mind and you couldn’t get him out of your head. It was almost pathetic at this point. You gazed into space wondering what your options were. It was time for you to move on. 

"_______?"

Jimin’s words snapped you out of your spiralling thoughts. You didn’t even notice him entering the room. He stood next to you at the end of your bed, looking down at you as you sat. You felt guilty even looking at his face. 

"I was wondering if you wanted some food?" he asked with concern. He had just found you in your room, staring at a blank wall, ignoring him calling out for you. 

"Thanks Jimin, but I think I’m alright for now," you responded, trying your best to form a smile. 

Jimin raised his eyebrows at you. He knew when you were tense or had your mind on something. It made it hard to keep anything a secret from him. He could read you like a book at this point.  

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OMG OMG OMG it's PHENOMENAL, I'm speechless. The way you wrote the characters and the storyline is amazing, but now I want OC to end up with both jimin and Jungkook😭 and another question: how many parts/episodes will fate have?

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Ahhh thank you so much!!! I'm so happy to hear that you liked it! It's so tricky to chose between jimin and jungkook!!

As for how many parts I think it will probably be 6 parts to 'fate'. I don't want to drag it out too much and be boring. But I'm back writing more so the 5th part should be up soon this week! :))

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Hey! It's me again and I just wanted to see how you were doing and if you were doing alright. I hope you are well and how is it going with writing?

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Hey!! Thanks so much for checking in with me!! I appreciate it so much. Sorry it’s been forever; I've been working and going through some stuff. I have just uploaded the new chapter of fate and thought I would let you know! Sorry for the wait. Please let me know how you feel about it :))

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fate (jungkook x fem!reader)

Summary: You and your tattoo ex Jeon Jungkook have been broken up for the past 2 years. But what happens he enters your life again when you just have gotten over him?

Pairing: jungkook x reader, reader x jimin

Genre: angsty af, tattoo artist Jungkook, eventual smut (?), break up!au

Words: 3.4k

Chapter 4/6 (1) (2) (3) (5)

WARNING: This chapter does mention sexual harassment. If this affects you, I advise you please not to read. Viewer’s discretion is advised.

The next morning, you lay in bed as the sunlight dripped into your room. Your head was pounding from last night, and you felt a heavy weight in the pit of your stomach. Why did Jungkook still have so much influence over you? You groaned on the pillow, covering yourself in the blankets. 

A knock on the door filled the room. You heard the door creak open to see Jimin holding a plate of pancakes. He gave you a sympathetic look as you were buried in your little cocoon.

"Are you planning to get up today?" He laughed at you, placing the plate on the edge of the bed. 

You shook your head, the smell of the pancakes hit your nose and suddenly your stomach was rumbling with hunger. You sat up in bed and reached over for the pancakes. You gave Jimin a thank you as he plopped himself beside you on the bed. You took a bite out of your pancake, fluffy as always. Not as tasty as Jungkook’s a voice shot from your thoughts. You immediately felt guilt rush through your body. Jimin had been nothing but good to you. 

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Hey, I haven't really seen you active an a while and just wanted to check up on you and see if you were alright, and tell you how much I love your story 'fate', it's phenomenal!

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Heyy!! Thank you so much for your message!!! You're the sweetest person ahhh!! Thanks so much for checking in with me. I'm doing well. I've been a bit busy as I'm working alot these days and I have classes.

I'm happy to hear you like fate, hearing that makes me so happy I really appreciate it! To be honest, I don't really like how I have written fate + feel like it could be better in terms of storyline. I'm not too sure how to finish it. I'm sorry, I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear haha.

Tysm again for your message, it really warmed my heart <3

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reblogged
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hotgirlmeg

seeing someone’s tattoo peak out from clothing is so sexy bro like…we love to almost see it :) 

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reblogged
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minstrivia
yoongi: “i almost threw up seeing that”

bonus: jin can’t help laughing as well

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