Humanity's Best Currency is Inspiration.

15x18 // cas confessing to dean about his empty deal

date of origin: 5th of november, 2020....

fuckin heritage posts logs on for a historical event

My art for the Visitation Day Gift Exchange thing for @artist-in-space ! Their prompt was “making a musical!” so I drew Yancy preparing himself (and others) for their next big number :)

In which Crowley teaches Aziraphale the fine art of sleeping.

It starts as a mere curiosity, really.  A whim.  It starts with Crowley waking from a nap one bright, warm afternoon to find Aziraphale watching him, haloed in a slant of sunlight as it pours through the window of the back room.  It starts with Crowley yawning, stretching, luxuriating in the pull and tense of muscle and sinew.  

You really enjoy it, Aziraphale muses.  Don’t you.

Crowley hums.  Hnnnyeah.  S’nice.  You should try it, sometime.

Aziraphale, considering him, the spark of curiosity he has borne since the world was new flickering in his gaze.  The same spark that drove him to offer a demon shelter under his wing.

Will you teach me how?

 And so, because Crowley is a heartsick fool bent on self-sabatoge, he begins teaching the angel how to sleep.

They start with the basics.  Aziraphale acquires a bed (an ancient four-poster affair that Scrooge himself would have envied) and Crowley instructs him how to lie on it, how to get comfortable.  No, don’t lie on your stomach like that, you’ll hurt your neck.  Yes, now close your eyes and let your thoughts sort of… drift off.

I can’t simply turn off my brain, Aziraphale protests.

It’s a struggle, at first, but Aziraphale eventually learns the trick of it.  He sleeps for a handful of minutes, Crowley watching over him, making sure he doesn’t accidentally slip into a coma (which may or may not have happened to Crowley once or twice or five times).  When Aziraphale wakes, his eyes are alight with understanding.  I can see why you like it so much.

They move onto other types of sleeping.  Catnaps in the sun, with Aziraphale lying down like an entombed mummy on the sofa in the back room.  Crowley despairs of him, then watches, entranced, as Aziraphale slips into slumber.  He unfurls in sleep like a sapling yearning toward sunlight, arms coming to rest above his head.  Lips parted, the faintest rasp of his breath past his teeth.  Crowley, catching himself, looks away.

The training continues.  At Aziraphale’s request (purely out of generosity, a terrible look on a demon, really), Crowley spends the night so they might sleep in.  Upon waking, in the weak-tea light of morning, he is spellbound by the image of Aziraphale softly snoring a mere handspan away.  Inches lie between them, suddenly vast.  When Aziraphale wakes, it is to find himself alone in the bed with Crowley making tea in the little kitchenette.  

Dreams begin.  With Crowley sleeping beside him, the veneer of tutelage a rickety bridge for them to skirt over their mutual reluctance, it is as inevitable as it is ineffable.  Crowley wakes in the dark hours of morning to find Aziraphale smiling in his sleep, mumbling faintly.  Oh, Crowley… my dear…  And Crowley feels his heart soar.  When Aziraphale wakes that morning, it is to find tea and buttered toast on the nightstand.

And then: nightmares.  Aziraphale wakes in the middle of the night choking on bathwater, flailing for his sword, where is my sword?  Shaking and shaking and shaking apart as Crowley sets hands on his shoulders, voice low.  It’s alright, angel.  It was only a nightmare.

How can they bear it?  Aziraphale asks, tears streaming down his cheeks.  It’s horrible.

I know.

You were gone.  They’d taken you, they were going to– 

Sshh, angel.  Everything is okay.  You and I are here.  Together.  

Aziraphale looks at him.  On our own side.

Yes.

When Aziraphale kisses him, his mouth tastes of salt.   

Things change, but the sleeping continues.  Aziraphale is, as it turns out, a terrible blanket hog.  Crowley will wake shivering in the night, cold-blooded creature that he is, to find the blanket gone and a warm burrito of an angel slumbering peacefully beside him.  It’s almost so adorable Crowley can’t be annoyed.  Almost.  

One day, as rain drenches London, Crowley nudges Aziraphale and says, Let’s close up shop.  Take an early night.  And Aziraphale flips the sign to ‘closed’ and they climb up to the little flat.  Curled together with the sound of rainfall pattering the windows, they are in their own little haven, a world apart from the world. Under the drum of rainfall, as Aziraphale lists into sleep, Crowley murmurs the words.  Aziraphale sleepily mumbles them back.

It’s not just about the sleep, though.  It’s also about the waking.  Crowley wakes the next morning to find Aziraphale snug behind him, spooning him, hands absentmindedly tracing patterns across his chest, his stomach, and his body comes awake in a way he’s never known.  Oh, it’s you.  I’m awake for you.  

Aziraphale mumbles a sleep-soft question in Crowley’s ear and Crowley nods, frantic, and really, no effort needs be made at all.  They are moving together, hands gripping, stroking, opening.  Mouths sliding, gasping, murmuring.  Spines arching, hips rolling.  It is the slow, hazy exploration of a dream, and after they reach their peak, they lie together a while longer, sated and sleepy and deliriously happy.

Goodness, Aziraphale murmurs, I should have taken up sleeping thousands of years ago.

Crowley wriggles closer, kissing his sleep-stale mouth.  Stay with me a little while longer.

Of course, dearest.  

Crowley drifts off to sleep.  

Thatys undeniably soft and gut clenching and i am 100% here for it

How can you make sleeping so adorable??

I love how when Crowley drops Aziraphale off at the bookshop after they’ve dropped Anathema off, Crowley gets out of the car to continue conversation. he doesn’t just get out of the car, either, he turns the car off entirely, gets out, and he shuts the door and he sprawls against the side of it with his arms folded up on top. He’s ready to stand there for a bit. He’s ready to have a second conversation. He, in fact, tries to start a completely different conversation, one less heavy than what they’ve been doing, talking about the apocalypse. he brings up music. He’s steering for banter.

He cannot just ask for an invitation to hang out further just for social fun, that’s not really their deal. Crowley instigates business, Aziraphale catches the tail end of their interactions and turns it into pleasure. That’s how they do. That’s how they’ve always done.

Aziraphale asks Crowley what he’s doing in Rome and Crowley answers with business reasons, Aziraphale invites him to come eat oysters. Crowley comes to rescue Aziraphale in France, Aziraphale invites him to crepes. Crowley comes to the play to talk business, Aziraphale asks him to do a personal favor. Crowley comes to save Aziraphale from the nazis, Aziraphale falls in love. Crowley hands over a paper saying holy water because he needs a backup plan for if their business goes sidesways, Aziraphale refuses on personal grounds. Crowley plans a caper to steal holy water, Aziraphale halts it and suggests someday maybe they can go to the Ritz together. Crowley comes to him to discuss what they’re going to do about the antichrist, and Aziraphale tells him “this is purely social” and invites him into the shop for drinks. Crowley senses (smells) the change in the air once the antichrist has the hound, and Aziraphale suggests it is his new cologne.

Over and over and over, round and round.

Crowley drives Aziraphale home from the convent and talks business on the way home, and when they park he gets out, expecting the usual shift from business to pleasure, and it doesn’t happen. Aziraphale is so out of sorts over this book, he drops tradition and leaves Crowley in the street wondering what the fuck just happened.

from day one crowley’s been the one who tiptoes closer but says nothing and aziraphale’s been the one who lifts his wing to welcome and protect him. and they just kept doing that for 6000 years

I think this ties in to the “Crowley’s love language is acts of service” theory: Crowley does things for Aziraphale but doesn’t expect anything in return, but he notices patterns and he comes to expect Aziraphale’s reciprocation of food/banter/drink/whatever.

Also, I love how Aziraphale is the one who’s all “we’re an angel and a demon, we’re meant to be enemies, get behind me foul fiend” and he’s USUALLY instigating the food/banter/drink/whatever. Like, Crowley knows he’s in trouble if it’s known he’s friends with an angel but I don’t think he refuses Aziraphale’s offer of hospitality once in the show (”well, if you’re going to offer, I’m not going to say no!”)

Not to be sadder on main here, but I think it’s not- or well, I suppose I should say it’s well beyond just “does not expect in return.”

What I mean is that the interactions Crowley instigates, even from Day 1 when he arrives with “well that went down like a lead balloon” are always Crowley extending a hand for business or to discuss business because he doesn’t expect Aziraphale to want anything to do with him for any other reason. He was an angel once, after all, he knows what they’re Like. He knows that everything is The Plan and that things must go according to it, and that anything that isn’t business - for example, foods and books and other frivolities - aren’t widely encouraged or even accepted. Look at how Gabriel treats Aziraphale over sushi. Worse, look how Gabriel treats the things he claims to love about humans- ie, the clothing, which if you look at the rear of his suit coat, he is wearing completely improperly. Even the things angels say they love, they don’t understand or actually care about, not really.

And I mean, come on. That’s. Of course Aziraphale isn’t like that, but Crowley’s… he was so hurt and so betrayed by Heaven before, how hard must it be to believe that? But business? Business offers are safe. The Arrangement? Like Crowley has anything better to do with his time than do his job, and the things we see them trading are never BIG things, it’s not like it would be hard for him to do his own temptations, and he’s risking so much by doing good things in Aziraphale’s stead, so like. Really the only actual benefit of the Arrangement is that it gives him an excuse to keep meeting up with Aziraphale under the pretense of business because that’s safe. Aziraphale, who should have every reason not to interact with him, is far more likely not to balk at a business meeting.

But Crowley, for all that he is occasionally an idiot, is not actually an idiot. He sees the pattern. He understands that if he can get the two of them into the same place under the pretense of business, Aziraphale will make it personal. Aziraphale will come to dinner, or invite him in for drinks, or whatever else they do that gives Crowley just a little bit longer to bask in the warmth of Aziraphale’s presence and attention. As long as he doesn’t give away it’s personal for him, too, as long as he lets Aziraphale take the first step, they’re okay.

Even the times that we see Crowley propose something more personal (such as lunch in the beginning) it is still business- as a repaid debt, a transaction, “I still owe you.”

And interestingly, the times we see Aziraphale balk are the times when Crowley suggests a personal relationship. Look at the bandstand. Crowley realizes they’ve run out of time and there’s no more room for business between them, and suggests they run off to the stars, and Aziraphale balks HARD and breaks it off with him. Again, though less hard, when Crowley returns and begs him to run to Alpha Centauri, Aziraphale breaks tradition and refuses to go along with Crowley’s personal proposition.

Even MORE interestingly, we see this shift at the very end. They sit on a park bench, talking about the war that will eventually come for them anyway, and it is Crowley who finally says “Let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?” with no business ties to it at all, and Aziraphale finally, finally agrees.

Okay I’m not done so you all have to suffer with me.

I know I JUST talked about how Crowley sidles up to these situations from the business angle because that’s the one that’s safe for him but I feel like I need to address this situation they’ve got themselves in from Aziraphale’s perspective, too.

First of all, they’re both idiots. They’re both fucking morons. And I mean that in the way that I mean it when I look at an absolutely brilliant scientist and know, not even that deep in my heart, that they would not be able to find their own ass with two hands and a map unless that was their area of expertise. Aziraphale and Crowley are both extremely intelligent in their respective specialties, but unfortunately for them both, interpersonal relationships have never even heard of their wheelhouse. They’ve got no fucking clue what they’re doing, and communicating is out of the question.

So while Crowley is over there thinking that he needs to keep up the pretense of business so that Aziraphale can tell himself that’s all it is, Aziraphale is the one that turns everything personal because he can’t have that be all it is. Stay with me here.

Aziraphale, as an angel and a supposed agent of good, cannot be caught a purely business relationship with a demon. The part of their relationship that Aziraphale rejects and dislikes the most is the business side that Crowley thinks is so essential. Aziraphale has shown us that he’s got no problem indulging in personal things that Heaven might not necessarily like (like food and owning material objects), but the business side of things with Crowley… well, that’s the dangerous bit isn’t it? Doing business with and, indeed, doing bad deeds for a demon are things that could get Aziraphale cast down if he were caught. Those are the things that, if they are caught, could get Crowley taken away from him permanently, wiped from existence.

But the business stuff is how Crowley comes to him, every time. And he has learned that as long as he lets Crowley get the business side of things out of his system, Crowley becomes amenable to personal agendas. He will allow Aziraphale to gently steer from business to pleasure without balking.

And super unfortunately for them, the two major times we see Crowley propose something personal is right after Aziraphale has given him the holy water (which Aziraphale is terrified he will use on himself, or accidentally spill on himself, and probably feels AWFUL about it at that moment), and when Crowley is begging Aziraphale to give up his loyalty to Heaven entirely and run away to the stars with him forever.

Which is, if you’ll pardon the reference, much too fast for Aziraphale. That’s a complete 180 on their relationship dance. Crowley hasn’t just changed the game, he’s quit it entirely, and Aziraphale is so wholly unprepared for that, that it takes him a while to find it feet again.

But the really, really good part is that as soon as he does find his feet…. he lays down the war gear he’s been given, and leaves Heaven behind to go find Crowley and save the damn world.

And the next time Crowley offers something personal, with no business ties whatsoever, Aziraphale agrees with his whole heart.

Michael Sheen as Aziraphale in Good Omens (2019)