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aro culture is

@aro-culture-is / aro-culture-is.tumblr.com

submissions reopened! please read the pinned post for rules! (aro =/= ace, please double check you've got the right blog!)
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intro and rules

hi! this is a submission based blog centered around aromanticism as both a specific identity and an umbrella of identities. due to chronic illnesses, we post somewhat inconsistently, and would recommend not sending urgent questions our way. That said, you can send questions about being aro, though we would like to suggest checking out our tags #question (for general questions), #am-i-aro (for questions about if the asker is aromantic), and #advice (for aro-focused advice) first. Please be patient if you would like an individualized response to a situation.

submissions can be silly or serious. aromantic people are not a monolith, and your mileage may vary for each and every submission - know that even if you don't relate to many posts about your identity, that's okay. we don't relate to a lot of this either.

we will probably block you if you're rude about how "everyone can experience this, not just aros!" there are no "purely" aro experiences, and we hate to tell you, but we'd rather not just post increasingly niche definitions of aromanticism.

this is open for any aro-spec people (including questioning folks)! if you don’t see much for your particular aro identity here, feel free to send more :)

for those interested in a playlist of the submitted "music recs", @felixisaprince has made one here for Spotify.

Submission Rules - if you do not follow these, your submission will be deleted. If you submit via an account, I will attempt to contact you for re-submission.

  • Submit via the ask box or submit tab. Anonymous and user submissions are allowed. If you'd like to modify / not submit it, please dm @just-aro rather than sending a second ask that will not be seen in time.
  • Begin each submission with the phrase “aro culture is”, or something more specific like disabled aro culture, demiro culture, or whatever you’d like.
  • No discourse - We do this for fun, and that isn’t fun. Judging by our inbox, we need to explicitly state that shipping discourse is included in this statement. That said, we are radically inclusive. We are stronger together, and it's always worth listening to each other.
  • Please don't send replies to other submissions (ie, "aro culture is hating xyz thing", and sending "actually I like xyz thing"). Reblog the post with your addition if you care that much about it, please.
  • Exclusionism, ableism, racism, or anything of that like will get you a block. "Cringe culture” is inherently ableist. other people have described this better than we can, but the tl;dr is: most everything described as "cringy, cringe-worthy" behavior is something performed by neurodivergent folks, and generally harmless. Ask yourself it it bothers you because of harm caused or for not following a social norm.
  • Use of the terms “opposite gender/sex” will result in deletion of the submission. If needed, “other binary gender” or things like that can be used. You can also say that people have expectations of boys and girls, for example. Fight the genderqueer/agender mods by telling us our opposite genders if you think this is so awful, and listen to intersex folks as well.
  • NO IMAGE SUBMISSIONS unless they are credited and have an image description (link to guide on writing them, additional link for an image to text generator, discord help here). Credit your artists and/or photographers, don't steal their work. Provide alt text and/or image descriptions for those who are blind, low-vision, have other accessibility needs, and who are suffering from Tumblr's poor loading speed.

Thank you :)

last edit: 4/19/23. Notes on edit: Rewording, removed rule about "hating" media to replace with rule on replying outside of post. Added submit tab as option for submissions. Added description of cringe culture.

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Anonymous asked:

aro culture is knowing people use the term love language almost always in a romantic context and if such is true i must've swallowed my tongue.

if it helps at all: the whole 5 love languages thing was made and promoted by a christian grifter who styles themself as a relationship counselor, but iirc, has no certifications or degrees or anything. It's totally a pseudoscientific personality test situation: it can be useful for helping you explore yourself and how you relate to others, but it's not scientifically backed in the slightest.

the official tests all talk about it with regards to romantic relationships because it's made for the purpose of selling "I will solve your relationship problems!" I actually find irl people use it less romantically than the Official Material.

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Anonymous asked:

sorry if this isn't the place to ask, i'm just feeling really dumb right now and the blogrunners here are very good at explaining things in a kind way i can understand: how do aplatonic people think of the people in their lives if not as friends? i don't ask to be judgemental, i'm really sorry if my question sounds rude, i just want to know if most aplatonic people see their (nonromantic, nonsexual) relationships as purely transactional or if it varies from person to person. i maintain a lot of impersonal transactional relationships myself so i get that, i'm just curious

hiya! i think this is something that's more of a personal question that varies among aplatonic folks.

we (the blog runners) are a system, with some members alloplatonic, others apl-spec, none who primarily identify as apl currently. Our apl-spec headmates usually call individuals we're close with our friends, in a similar way to how ace people can have sex and aro people can have romantic relationships - it's not exactly the same, but they don't feel strongly about not calling those people friends. they feel no particular drive to hang out with specific people, thought they may do so for an assortment of reasons. those are often either transactional, about maintaining relationships with people that our system values, or about community building and care, which we are very driven towards. (as in, regularly start up connections for the purpose of community building and forming affinity groups)

I'll also encourage other folks under the apl-spec to respond to this via reblogs!

note: Our blog preference, to be clear, is that we do not receive follow-up asks from anons on previous topics, as it just gets pretty confusing to navigate. when our inbox used to be in the 6-7 hundreds regularly for this blog, we'd often have asks from over a month prior appear and disappear from the inbox by just... refreshing the same page. thank you for understanding!

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Anonymous asked:

Aro allo culture is having liked purple forever, but starting to like green because of the Aromantic and (jokingly) worrying that people will think you’re aroace because of all the purple and green you wear

fun response to anyone asking if you wear purple because aroace:

  • nah, but they've got good color taste
  • aro-ace at sexual attraction! no but actually alloaro lol
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Anonymous asked:

aro culture is romance confuses me qpr relationships confuse me friendships confuse me everything would be easier if we just called everything 'interaction' and didn't felt the need to give titles and meanings to every fucking thing

one of the wonderful and frustrating elements of life... everything is simultaneously useful and terribly not useful depending on your relationship to the information you're supposed to gaining from it.

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Anonymous asked:

Not aplatonic aro culture is having a squish on somebody and feeling really cringe.

Like yes, this person seems really nice, I would love to laugh, and joke, and spend time with them, and talk, and I wish to know them, and I wish that they knew me.

We've been in the same class for three years, and we never talked more than "hi" and "do you know I'd we have math homework".

They probably don't even care if I exist.

I feel so stupid

oh noooo you have a genuine feeling! seriously, it's not "cringe" to care about people: talk to them. it's good to form connections, and if it doesn't work out... seriously, it will be okay. Most people care about people they see regularly, to at least some degree.

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Anonymous asked:

aro culture is feeling immature compared to your friends because they’ve all been in relationships and you haven’t and when you say that you literally can’t feel things for people 99% of the time they look at you like you’re a 5 year old

tbh i think we should talk about the infantilization of aromantic and asexual people more :/

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Anonymous asked:

in response to the anon who lost a friend because their partner said so

It is not inevitable that you will lose your friends to romantic partners. In fact it shouldn't happen and should not be considered normal. My best friend recently got into a romantic relationship and now I'm friends with his boyfriend, my roommate got into a romantic relationship and now her boyfriend and I annoy each other at all times and show each other cursed instagram reels. Losing friends to romantic partners is not inevitable, and it's not healthy for your friend. If you are losing a friend to a romantic partner, you should probably check in on them about that.

and you anon who sent in that ask in the first place, I am concerned about your friend, idk about your specific situation and what you can do but don't give up on them, losing all your friends is not an inevitability it is a red flag about their relationships.

^

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Anonymous asked:

aro culture is i lost a friend I've known for decades because his romantic partner demanded that i, along with many other platonic friends, should gtfo his life. I know this isn't an aros only thing but I am aro and i never thought that this shitshow would happen to me too. So it's only a matter of time before i get yeeted out of all of my friend's lives because for some reason the romantic partner is of higher importance than the platonic companions. God.

... so like. I just want to be clear: when a romantic partner insists that their partner should not have friends (whether along gender lines or not), that is either explicitly an act of abuse (isolating them from other social structures) or at minimum a red flag of emotional immaturity (ie, jealousy) that will often become a component of abuse. it is not a normal thing. it is, at times, normalized by a culture that expects unhealthy relationships, but it is a blaring red siren for problems.

there is a huge difference between the friend themself choosing to leave you and their partner demanding control over their social circle. it doesn't make being thrown to the curb hurt less, but I do highly recommend leaving the door open for him, and in some way explicitly saying he can always still talk to you, even if you are upset with him. generally, at this point, it's not worthwhile to say "I think that this person is abusing you", because the control is being initiated and is actively monitored at this stage; you saying anything bad is going to be used as why he should cut you off, because "I can't believe you'd be friends with someone who hates your romantic partner!" is a thing.

If you can, please please read up about how to help friends in emotionally abusive relationships. the main point is: be open to listening, never initiate a negative comment about the abusive individual, but if he starts it? Listen. Say how you can see that, how does he feel about it? Does he want to do anything about it? If not, you gotta learn to say "Okay. Let me know if that ever changes." and move on. If he's not ready, it's way more important that he's still able to come to you and doesn't feel pressured, because then when he is ready, he knows who has never pressured him, always listened and let him make his own choices, and offered to help.

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Anonymous asked:

Aro culture is knowing the phrase "bros before hoes" waaay before I realized I was aro and

So that's why that phrase resonates so much with me back then because it is aro coded af in a sense that, your bros shouldn't be lesser than the gf

And i think that's actually nice to know that there had been aro sentiments way before the term aro was popularized

... hm. tbh i've always heard it actually used in one of two ways:

  1. bros (male friendship only) before hoes (the women we fuck and consider lesser than as people, typically not someone we are dating)
  2. the meme-y version that typically just has lesser intensity on the male-focus.
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