artworks and stuff

losing my mind rn

misha collins | timeless (2016)

[x]

It’s very hard, I know, to hear from Misha like that. He has always seemed like our greatest ally and I know to some this will feel like yet another dismissal, even a betrayal.

One thing I want to remind everyone of, though, is that Misha is also a person with his own processing to do about the end of over a decade playing this incredible character who means so much to us. Another way of saying this is that he has his own narrative about 15x18. He has to believe it isn’t “bury your gays” because it’s the most important moment of his whole career and because he would never want to be a part of something like that. He’s so proud of getting to speak openly as Cas about romantic love and he wanted that to be his legacy: confirming that this iconic character really did love another man. He felt like Cas about it—that the happiness was in getting to say it. He was so proud.

And then suddenly he sees backlash and hurt and anger about this moment that he felt so proud of and that he hoped would help fans see themselves. He doesn’t understand it—not really—because he barely even watches the show, let alone studies it. He doesn’t have a media studies degree or know much at all about the history of queer representation in media. He was so happy with how Cas went out and considered it honestly his own accomplishment.

And now he’s hurting and confused and a bit defensive. Can you blame him? Even if the network isn’t pressuring him (and I think they are, but just as a thought experiment) he probably hopes he can put things to rest and get back to feeling positive about this scene that meant so much to him. My guess is that there were certain things he had to say (“rogue translator” and “no alternate ending,” where he starts off) and others he wanted to (“this is not bury your gays”). So it’s probably a mix of official messaging and network leverage and Misha wanting to speak to us about it.

He says in his replies that he didn’t get it all right, could have said it better. He also says he’s listening, and he is. I’m disappointed too, especially because there is a real chance that although technically 15x18 did not have an “alternate ending” it did have some crucial content edited out. It feels like he’s taking sides, and against us. But don’t believe it. He’s a complex and sensitive person who cares deeply about the fandom but is also still beholden to the network (and trying not to alienate future career contacts). He has to balance that, and he may not be able or willing to tell us what we want to hear. But he still cares for us so much and wants us (I think) to find peace.

This, exactly. He’s human and wants to soothe the people he cares about and defend the character he gave life to and fought for. He’s not perfect and I hate to see people using him to hurt the very people he wants to make feel better but HE is not against us, and he’s listening.

Misha listens

Misha tweets

Misha's panel,my dudes. Enjoy. Love ya.

Misha tweets

guys please just think about misha collins shipping right along with us for years….wanting it for years…..not being able to directly say that he agrees when fans ask for years. getting shit for queerbaiting for ambiguous answers even though he desperately wanted to tell us what we wanted to hear…for years. And still fighting for it. and then when it finally happened he fought for it to be as beautiful as we deserved. finally, after a decade, being able to tell us all that we’re not crazy, that he’s ecstatic too, and that Castiel is undeniably in love with Dean Winchester. that’s all I’m taking away from this panel and it’s all you should too.

hi misha saying out loud that it was a romantic confession and that he’s been consciously playing cas as in love with dean for at least a year is simply too much. i need to go lie down

i just saw that misha sent this 🙂

Misha Collins | SDCC 2017

misha | mishacollins