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#jog – @ariaulaarikae on Tumblr
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Ari Aula Arikae

@ariaulaarikae / ariaulaarikae.tumblr.com

A fallen hope. A shattered dream. A broken heart. A lost soul. I’m a person with a lot of personal and life insecurities. I’m flawed, fallible and unfathomable. I’m Ari.
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Ah - I Hate Random Panic Attacks!

This is evening I had a sudden brief panic attack after my jog. The last time I had this was in August. I'm not really sure why exactly it happened but maybe it's  just the aftermath of my tiring jog, compounded by the anxiety that I'm feeling about going back to school again. I always forget how scary it is when it happens. 

Sometimes my panic attacks happen spontaneously. I read it somewhere that panic attacks typically occur suddenly, without warning. Great. Am I gonna live with this for the rest of my life? 

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August 2013 -- U Want a Hot Body? U Betta Work, Bitch!

In August,  we celebrated Eid and thank goodness I managed to avoid visiting some of my relatives! If you read one of my older posts, you would know why I despise them. OK -- maybe 'despise' is a very strong....  I'm just not very fond of my relatives. They can be so judgmental, and  are super annoying! lol :S

Last month was also a pretty depressing time  for me because I didn't feel so good about myself -- what's new? I know right? lol. I was worrying so much about my future and wasn't sure whether I should go back to studying or get a job,  which to be honest, I think would be really impossible since I don't really possess any useful skills. And this was compounded by my other never-ending insecurities about my appearance and my sexuality. AH I just hate feeling so insecure... 

So after Eid,  I started to try to get back the weight that I had lost during the fasting month. I'm still trying though but I'm not really sure how much I had  really lost or if I'm gaining any back. I have also started to run/jog at least 3 nights a week for about 30 minutes. It's quite an achievement for me personally and I'm quite proud of myself for being this consistent although I'm gonna be honest that -- sometimes I dread doing it haha but I like how healthy I feel afterwards which makes it worth it I guess lol.

So... yeah, I'm gonna do it again tonight and listen to Work Bitch while I'm running! The song is definitely my latest obsession and it's actually kinda motivating lol. "You want a hot body? You better WORK, BITCH!" OK, Britney... I'll try... @.@ 

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