This morning I logged into one of my other facebook accounts (which I barely use) and found out that I'd received a message from one of my ex high school classmate...

It broke my heart when I first read it. High school for me was like a never ending nightmare. I was so lonely and scared. Yes -- I wanna forget everything about it even though there were a few happy moments... 

Even so, I'm glad to know that I came off as "a good friend", "not selfish", "helpful" and "sincere" but I was also not perfect then and definitely am not now. People make mistakes and I think the only way for me to heal and be happy is to forgive and forget my past and just move on... 

When I was in high school, I was made fun of a lot for being different. It was a period in my life -- a freaking long one -- where I was going through a lot of changes with my body, my skin, my weight and especially my voice. 

My voice sounded really bad. Every time I tried to talk, my voice squeaked and cracked... and cawed. Yes -- it was that bad! I sounded sort of like a dying chicken-crow hybrid. It was so embarrassing. I was ridiculed and called awful names A LOT. My high school years felt like eternity. I remember dreading going to school every morning, and would always be anticipating to go back home...

I did have a few friends though but I still felt so lonely. No one really stood up for me when I was bullied. I felt like a freak -- I still do though.

I would always find myself being alone during recess. I would go to our school library and hide myself there among the books. Sometimes I would sneak in a sandwich and have my lunch there. Sometimes I would bring my lunch to the boys' bathroom. Yes -- I was that sad, lonely kid who ate his lunch on the toilet, in that dirty bathroom cubicle... 

There were a lot of bad moments -- really difficult times, but I think I'll share them for next time.

So the people at work found out about my Tumblr thanks to Facebook. Urgh. They saw the previous post I made that was really personal, and now they're making fun of me... 

I already deleted that post though... but I'm still shaken by the fact that they now can find out things I don't wish to share with the people I know... 

I fear that they will ruin my life even further by telling everyone about it.

This is the only place where I get to be raw and real, and now I feel like my freedom to express myself has been taken away from me almost completely.

I'm hurt and extremely mortified. I'm sad. 

But It's kinda my fault though... 

It ticks me off when people criticize Britney...

It's just so unfair. They call her "slut", "trash", and other derogatory names when she's actually a very nice, humble person. 

It's so sad and hurtful. It's disgusting. 

It's bullying. 

And I hate bullies, a lot.

Cyberbully

What a great movie. It reminded me of my experience in high school. Though it wasn't really cyberbullying, it was somewhat similar. It was bullying. It hurt and still does because it still haunts me till this very day... 

*Sighs* It sucks to deal with mean people at work every day...