A Hole in the Universe
They let him onto the Marauder after a short time, reluctant and suspicious but willing to give that much ground.
Crosshair almost wishes they hadn’t.
The ship looks the same. It smells the same.
It isn’t.
Nothing is.
The first thing he sees are the broken goggles perched on the console like it’s a shrine.
And for a moment, he’s back on Tantiss, waking up from a short afternoon sleep – because what else was there to do?– with his whole body aching like he’d taken a beating, his mind racing, his heart pounding.
He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. He thought his heart might stop as it skipped a beat, then settled, continued pumping. Slow. Steady. Strong.
He’d known then. Weeks before the kid confirmed it.
Crosshair picks up the goggles and slumps into one of the jump chairs.
He feels and hears the others move around him in silence, getting the ship ready for flight.
The Marauder never used to be silent; it had always been full of Tech’s voice, spitting facts or figures, talking of upgrades; full of the sounds of him fiddling with the instrument panel, the wiring, some new device he was working on.
Tech’s presence, Tech’s voice has been the constant in his life since they came out of their growth tubes moments apart, Tech a few seconds earlier than him.
He cradles the goggles. The frame is whole, undented. Barely scratched. The recorder is missing. Taken? He brushes his thumb over the broken lenses; a fine shard of glass bites into his skin, leaves a smear of blood across the glass.
The shudder that passes through him makes the seat vibrate; from the side of his eye, he sees Omega step toward him, sees Hunter shake his head and gently redirect her.
He closes his eyes.
Crosshair’s never been much for the spiritual, doesn’t know what to think about what comes after death or gods or demons or even the Jedi’s Force.
But if the Force is something beyond the flashy moves he’s seen on the battlefield, if it’s the something that ties everything in the universe together, he knows that there’s a ragged hole in it where Tech once was.
_____
I saw someone pondering Crosshair's reaction to seeing the goggles and yeah. Just a little exercise around loss.
Thanks.... For breaking my heart 💔😭💔
