Before applying for the federal program SSDI, we married. This was to prevent losing the life-saving insurance I needed. At that point, I was still on my parents’ insurance, but would soon age out of being able to use it.
After we married, I applied for SSDI, which takes about two years. Everyone is denied by default, so I was prepared with an SSDI lawyer (they only take the case if they know they can win, and their payment is a very small portion of your backpay; my lawyer was paid just 15% of my backpay)backpack. When the rejection letter arrived, I immediately went to her for help.
I inquired about the state program SSI. She told me I didn’t qualify because I’m married. I applied anyway, because I ad nothing to lose. Here’s what the person at the SSI office told me I would have to do before I could apply:
- I need to divorce my husband.
- I need to live alone. We could not be living together because this would be seen as us basically being married.
- I need to have less than $2k to my name at all times.
- I cannot work.
- I cannot live with my parents because their income would count against me.
- I cannot own expensive things that could be sold for money.
If I was approved, I would have to continue following these rules with a few additions.
- I cannot receive gifts of money.
- I must have a bank account, and they would monitor it to make sure I never went even a single cent over $2000.
- I cannot have a savings account.
- I cannot have a safety deposit box.
- I would have to continue living alone.
- They can stop by my home at anytime to inspect how I’m living. They could talk to my neighbors to see if I had anyone who visited and helped me as more than just a friend. This means I could not have my former husband turned boyfriend stay overnight, and he cannot be perceived as taking care of me.
- I cannot have anyone help me financially. This means no one else can pay my bills. If I cannot afford those bills on my own, I would have to apply for programs that would. Most of those have long waiting lists, like section 8 housing (we had applied for section 8 housing in 2008, and three years ago I received an email telling me we qualified. They had only the information we gave them in 2008, and have since moved across the country).
- My SSDI, if approved, would count against me financially.
- The most money I would receive from SSI, if I did everything they demanded and was approved, was $618/month.
This is enforced poverty. It’s also the onky way may of those Disabled would be able to receive the medical care that keeps them alive, like Medicaid. My seizure medication used to cost nearly $2k/month. My neurologist gave me free samples of it every month and helped me apply for free medication through the manufacturer’s financial aid program (you should too if you can’t afford your medication). I was receiving medical care through the hospital’s financial aid program when I married and lost my parents’ insurance coverage.
I refused to do as SSI demanded. My SSDI lawyer was, in fact, relieved when I told her I’m married. Why? Because marrying afterwards would have caused serious and life-threatening complications. She encourages everyone who applies for SSDI to marry if it’s possible a ble for them to do so. Because of her, I was approved for other programs, things I didn’t even know existed, but for two years, it was Hell-on-Earth. I couldn’t work because it would count against me. At that time, rent was $650, but my husband was making federal minimum wage, worked full time, and his employer kept changing his schedule, which made it impossible to apply for a second job.
I know many who are on SSI and need it in order to remain alive. One of my friends nearly fell out if the program because a nosy neighbor saw her and her boyfriend cuddling in her couch watching a movie. They assumed he was secretly living with her. Said neighbor was frequently seen just outside my friend’s windows, watching her. When she met my lawyer after getting the automatic SSDI rejection, she married, got into the programs I had been in, and filed a restraining order against her neighbor because my lawyer absolutely insisted on it. The bitch violated the terms three times and was put in prison for six months. She’s now on SSDI, married, and much happier.
Marriage equality does not exist until the Disabled can marry without losing everything.
