LGBTQA in Books: Baiting and Erasure

There’s a lot of discourse around books and LGBTQA - in the way that the subject is addressed, treated or even erased in books. But the thing is, there’s a strange line between queerbaiting (getting writer points for inclusiveness and diversity while in all truth the canonverse is vague, uses little to no terms, and essentially leaves it to readers to interpret at will, thus widening their audience, and their profits, but contributing little to authentic representation) and erasure, whether accidental or intentional (by making the sexuality, romantic orientation etc. clear and open in the book, yet never using any terms, thus possibly causing a disconnection between the safe space of the fictional world, and representation in reality).

I believe it is equally important to consider both ends:

I don’t want my readers to ever feel like this facet of a character (if relevant to the book, the story, or the character) is used as bait, tiptoed around or glossed over. I want them to see a world where it can be easy and uncomplicated, where one’s sexuality is just a normal part of them, much like constellation-shaped freckles on a shoulder. I want them to see what it’s like to step into a world where they don’t have to question it, or worry about it, where people know - or are coming to learn - who they are, with no judgement or weight behind labels, or the absence of them.

I want my readers to be clear on my characters, to fully relish the magical world of Moonrose where people are free to be themselves. A world where Sienna is a lesbian married to the love of her life and filling one of the most important roles in Xandrias with the esteem of all, and nobody thinks anything of it because it’s literally just another facet of her among thousands others. A world where Kaodhan as the leader of the village is pan and perfectly comfortable being so, because it aligns with his worldviews of love having no boundaries in terms of physical appearance. A world where the heroine, Char, is unequivocally asexual and navigates the complicated landscape of loving others spiritually while feeling no physical attraction.

There is so much potential in these stories, each one more different than the other. It adds yet another layer of depth and humanity to characters in media, so why not go the extra mile and honor these aspects as well by representing them with empathy, and finally... finally actually showing a world where things are as they should be. I don’t know about you, but I’m over reading about dystopias. Let’s focus on how good it can be and what a utopia looks like. Not how bad it can get, because 2020 has shown us enough of that.

Over the years I tend to forget just how much work I’ve invested into the Moonrose world. Essentially 15 years’ worth of sketchbooks and notebooks overflowing with stacks of paper and clippings and drawings and photos and sticky-notes. They are the living and breathing foundation of all that has come after, and it’s always a delight to open them and sift through the old pages, trace all the carefully-drawn lines accorded to my much loved imagination. The familiar, welcoming, warm feeling every time I lose myself in all of it. Remembering what I thought and felt at the time of writing it, or what I was going through in life at that time. My writing has always accompanied me throughout life, and I’m grateful that looking back on the past helps remind me why I do this, why I love writing and creating art, and why it’s unequivocally what I stand for.

There’s nothing quite as soul-healing as coming back home to your magical world. To inkstained fingers and scribbling and sketching on paper, whirling up new ideas, playing with watercolors and acrylics and oils. Organizing lists and polishing chapter titles, reading older snippets and connecting the dots to create new ones. Finding the frayed edges of the latest chapter’s latest paragraph, and picking them up one by one to yet again weave a beautiful tapestry that opens the door to my favorite realms. It’s good to be home.

On Writing Modes

Every writer has their own modus operandi when it comes to their books. Some write daily, some have a neat schedule, others are more erratic or write whenever the gut inspiration kicks in.

I stopped trying to fit into either of those when I realized I have 2 writing modes of my own: frenzied ‘mad scientist’ nonstop writing for weeks while my book is the only thing on my mind, or periods of total creative hibernation and disconnect. There is no inbetween.

I don’t do shades of grey, or bits of writing a scene here and there. Writing daily has never worked for me, simply because I need to clear my head, to recharge, step back, distance myself from what I’m creating to have a sense of perspective, bigger picture, to consider all angles and remember where I’m going. It’s either 100% or not at all, simply out of a principle of respect to what I’m creating - and let’s be honest, nobody can sustain a life of being 100% plugged into their imaginative world and foregoing the mundane tasks of reality.

There is a fluid pulse going through the continuity of scenes and chapters, an emotional undercurrent that changes with every day you sit down to write. When the creative wave hits, I ride that emotional current and imbue my writing with as much soulfulness as I can, because that’s what matters most when it comes to my writing: it must carry heart and soul. You know how you can just tell when something is mass-manufactured, copy-pasted, the words or strings to a creation just weaved together in a mechanical, soulless manner? And when they’re handmade, with care, with intent? The same goes for art.

I always have to be in a mood in order to write, to be in a certain mindset; it’s the only way the story will feel raw and powerful, the only way the characters’ emotional dimension will feel authentic. I don’t sit down to write when I’m emptied, tired, when I’m distraught or needing to focus on other parts of my life, because I know I won’t be able to honor my art the way it needs to, that I won’t be able to create something born of patience and my imagination. I sit down and write when I can honor that creative fire and give it all the space and time that it deserves.

Behind the Book's Title: Arcanum of Thorns

arcanum · Secret knowledge carried only by the few chosen initiates, the disciples of the goddess of knowledge. Used when referring to the mysteries of the physical and spiritual realms, the infinite dimensions, the guardians and laws governing them, the hidden workings of the ethereal spaces and more.

thorns · Both literal and symbolical reference; to the anatomy of a rose, and the Moonrose flower within the book, which has the ability to cure any illness with the dew of its petals or to fatally poison any being with the sting of its thorns. More importantly, the Moonrose is a symbol for the journey of the soul upon incarnation: “Per aspera, ad astra” (through hardship, towards the stars).

Read more here.

An open letter to readers and writers.

What inspires authors to write their books?

For me, it’s magic.

Magic is the only way to sum up in one word all of the things which create the intricate, unique flavour of the Arcanum of Thorns books. The purity and innocence of childhood. The feeling of safety and familiarity. A refuge to withdraw into where you know you will always be welcome, will always feel like home in. The pure exhilaration and joy of discovering new realms, of creating them anew out of the void of my own infinite imagination.

Let me ask you a question - lean closer, and tell me your story. Have you ever felt like that?

Do you remember what it felt like to be a child, even if for one moment in time, a moment captured into an infinity, of indescribable ephemerality? Reading books about mystical adventures and the strangest monsters and heroes crossing magical realms in search of answers, truth, or love? Or venturing out into your garden or backyard to daydream away of all the secret faeries hiding in flower petals or the bark of oak trees... A moment you held and treasured in your heart, safely locked away forever, a place where you can return to time and time again any time you want?

Your own inner world. This is what the world of imagination, the paracosmos, the imaginarium, feels like to every artist and writer and creator. Like stepping into a sacred space of your own making where you are free to weave magic to your heart's content.

But not everybody is a creator. Some are wanderers, travelers of this paracosmos. They love to explore, never to settle, they have an unquenchable thirst and curiosity to taste a little bit of everything and step into the shoes of every character, and always feel like there is not enough time for it. They want to explore the bounds of the universe and books are the perfect medium for that. If you are one such reader, you're probably always searching for new worlds to immerse yourself into, new oceans to dip your toes into, new bonds and families to become a part of.

Sometimes, fortune is on your side and you can discover ten wonderful books in one week. Other times months go by on a dry spell and it seems nothing can quite fill in that space, that particular hunger or flavour you're looking for, that feeling of relief, of a-ha! as the paragraphs of the first chapter just keep rolling into a seamless flow, and before you know it you're curled into the couch with white knuckles and contagious excitement waiting to turn the page to find out how the story continues next. (Better yet, you're probably hunched over the couch in some readeresque position with muscle and eye aches forgotten until you finish binge reading at 5 AM). But when you do close that last page (even though you don't want to), you're there. And you don't want to leave. You want to stay in the folds of those vanilla-scented pages that construct the boundaries of a newfound world.

As readers, and as writers, that's the kick we're looking for all the time. That slice, however little or great, of stepping into something greater, more marvelous, feeling and being and doing all of the things we can never accomplish in just one lifetime - through the medium of books.

If you're one of these readers, and looking for the next kick, that's the living and breathing foundation that Arcanum of Thorns and the entire Moonrose world was built on. I’d love to say it’s the foundation of every book of mine - but you know how some books feel like rollercoaster rides? They get your adrenaline spiking and it’s over before you know it, over and done with. Or some are ferris wheel rides where you can observe the beautiful, nostalgic landscape from afar for a while. Better yet, some are like candy, pop them one after another to ease that sweet tooth for mushy romance and cheesy lines that butter us up just when we need it. But there are some books... some that are the literary equivalent to burrowing into a warm bath or clean soft sheets after a hard day where even your bones sigh in relief. Those books are home, and they are the ones that change us most.

AOT is a home, and always will be. It is for me, and I hope it will be for you. And it's here to stay for as long as you're up for coming along the ride.

Much love, Lumen

Why did the Celts keep no records?

Can you fathom the true distance between thousands of years? History is an eternally unfinished book of events, its last pages blank and bright with possibility... while the earliest ones age and crumble, its spilled ink fading away in the oblivion of time. Can you fathom this distance, a mere inhale and exhale for the greatest trees, the same distance spanning the rise and fall of civilizations?

History creates a gap between the past and present, turns one into myth and fable, and the other into our current reality. What is left then, inbetween the threads of this interconnected weave?

The ancient Celts believed in reincarnation, which explains why they did not fear the loss of all their knowledge with the possible fall of their people. As happens to all those on the losing side in a battle, history is rewritten by the winners. It is possible that in order to avoid any attempts at the deprofanation or misuse of their Druidic teachings, their knowledge, they chose to hold no written records. They chose the fall into oblivion, the mysteries of their true ways unknown, than to have those secrets altered or misused.

Perhaps, in the end, it was a silent, courageous way of saying, “You may triumph over us in battle, but you cannot triumph over our spirit. We will be born again. And we will rise again.”

Utopia vs. Dystopia

Nowadays we're more familiar with the meaning of dystopia than utopia. In fact we've become so familiar with dystopias that we read them in books, watch them on screen, and worse yet, see them in reality. We can tick off a handful of dystopias in media in a single breath. But utopias? At best they're a vague, unachievable ideal, and at worst people scoff in bitter cynicism that such a thing may ever exist.

As most writers know, the first step to changing our surroundings for the better is reflecting contemporary issues in our craft, exploring and exposing their every facet in a way that will hopefully raise awareness, and even inspire people to actively contribute for a better world, even if it's only a gesture of kindness, or standing up for the bullied or underprivileged.

But this active reflection of the external negativity into books is a double-edged blade. On the one hand it captures and directs our attention to that negativity. But on the other hand if our focus remains fixed to the point that we never move past it, it becomes problematic, stagnant, and even self-enforcing. When it's all you've ever known, you normalize the atrocities. You become numb, forget what it means to question things and worse yet, fear of dreaming beyond it.

The second step to change is moving beyond mere awareness. Instead of envisioning what could go wrong, focusing on what could go right. Presenting and exploring utopias in books can be very potent, opening people's minds and perceptions about societies on a global level. A lone writer with no ambition but with a unique utopian world might inspire one person who can set into motion a domino effect to inspire others, until just the right scientist, leader, philosopher, etc. might one day turn it into reality, hundreds of years to come. Words carry such great power.

Reflecting all that corruption in books has a function. It's a means to a goal, a way to challenge our heroes. After all, adversity sculpts the spirit, and stories exist because they contain some sort of conflict that, upon rising above it, give us a sense of relief and comfort and empathy. But I'm tired of seeing only worlds torn apart. There are more ways of inspiring and empowering people than always presenting worlds on the brink of destruction. Because it's teaching people that even if we emerge victorious at the end of our battles, the best world we can hope for is still one riddled with subterfuge, corruption, hostility, intolerance.

And this is why in my writing I'm so adamant about presenting utopian worlds too for a change. You can still have challenges - there will always be challenges. But I want to show what can go right. Unity, freedom, free access to healthcare and food and shelter. Diversity is a beautiful thing. When people lay their differences aside and unite, I firmly believe anything can be achieved. Wouldn't you prefer reading such a book, wondering how that could be achieved? How that life would be like? I know I would.

What are your thoughts on utopia/dystopia in books?

-Lumen