suck my fucking sweedish meatballs

looking for deeply specific music reccs if y'all have any

I'm looking for Mandarin (Chinese) drill rap

I find the rhythmic nature of rap works really good at keeping my focus on what I'm arting, but I wanna find out how off the wall bonkers hardcore rap can get in a language that's 90% homonyms by volume

Hey OP theres a show called "Rap of China" that I used to watch all the time. Most of the episodes are up on youtube rn. It's an elimination style rap contest with judges and everything. Most of the music is pretty different / not what you would normally hear in most cpop but there is some overlap. I would still reccomend it tho (there are also playlists with just the songs too if you don't want to watch the tv show part)

OOOOH YES PLEASE

A HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE VIDEOS?????

If you see a post talking about problems related to a behavior you do (or problems related to not doing something) and your first and only reaction is to rant about how the post is insensitive to your very specific circumstances which make changing your behavior impossible, consider:

Post: People who put celery in chili are evil you're my enemy

Reply: OP I have a rare dietary condition that requires me to consume 10lbs of celery per day if I didn't put celery in it I'd never be able to eat celery

Issue: #1, maybe the post just isn't about you

Post: People have got to stop calling the cops on Black teenagers who are just goofing off, you're gonna get someone killed. Either ignore them or go talk to them yourself if you're that concerned about their behavior.

Reply: OP I got attacked and almost killed by teenagers and now I have PTSD that is triggered when I see groups of teenagers regardless of race. I literally can't go talk to them without having a panic attack and so I have to call the police to deal with the issue.

Issue: #2, no you don't get a pass on this one. Your PTSD does not give you a pass to endanger the lives of other people. Your feelings are not more important than someone's life, even when you irrationally feel your life is in danger. Go to therapy or a support group, do internal work, have a friend you can call to help you - whatever the solution, it's your responsibility to find a way to change that behavior.

Post: Other drivers need to keep their cars in the lane lines! I need to not have near death experiences every commute please!

Reply: OP I would love to keep my car in the lane but I have an old shitty car that randomly jerks the wheel out of my hands and causes me to swerve. I can't afford a new car or a mechanic and I have to drive to get to work. What is someone in my situation supposed to do to stay in the lines??

Issue: #3, oh my God shut UP

"Nijika Does a Magic Trick"

“why so yurious”

-the fujoker

looking for deeply specific music reccs if y'all have any

I'm looking for Mandarin (Chinese) drill rap

I find the rhythmic nature of rap works really good at keeping my focus on what I'm arting, but I wanna find out how off the wall bonkers hardcore rap can get in a language that's 90% homonyms by volume

Hey OP theres a show called "Rap of China" that I used to watch all the time. Most of the episodes are up on youtube rn. It's an elimination style rap contest with judges and everything. Most of the music is pretty different / not what you would normally hear in most cpop but there is some overlap. I would still reccomend it tho (there are also playlists with just the songs too if you don't want to watch the tv show part)

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

Title/Name: I Love Coffee Feraljak Wojak Series: Soyjak (Variant) Image by: Unknown Main Tag: Soyjak Wojak

okay ill concede to the liberals that I dont think kamala harris would have put elon musk in charge of a government department called doge.

We live in a beautiful world where you can just watch whatever. You don't have to read the book to watch the show or play the game to watch the movie and you know what?? you don't even have to watch supernatural to ship destiel. they don't want you to know this but it's true

thank you tumblr user televisionenjoyer

Not yet

(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes

the christmas version of night of fire is one of the funniest songs ever just for how desperately the christmas theme is shoved in. "welcome to the holy night / welcome to the night of santa claus" belongs in a museum

u know those mutuals who you are like silent buddies with and you never talk to each other but you reblog each others stuff and when you see them on you’re dash you’re like yooooo thats my bud!! 

They’ll never do a Hitman level set in a Furry Convention because gamers would absolutely ruin it but imagine. like the target isn’t a furry he just owns a hotel that happens to have one every year but you can disguise yourself in a fursuit and some guy will ask you “what species is your sona” and 47 would be like “a wolf. i always felt a connection with…hunters.” and then diana would be like “let’s see if you can sniff out some information, furrty-seven” and then he comes to my house and kills me for writing this

ok but imagine being the fursuit artist that he contracts to make his costume tho

He contacts you via an anonymous email and is very exacting and precise in his request. Money is no object, which isn't uncommon in your line of business, you're a professional and more than a few customers have been in the 1% range.

So you ask if he's local so you can meet and take measurements and he says no but he will meet you at (conveniently close local craft store) tomorrow after work (you did not mention where you live)

You're a little shaken but you meet him anyways because daddy needs to pay rent, and he's probably not a serial killer, right?

Right?

You had no idea what kind of person to expect, but a 6'2 bald white guy built like a fucken shit-brickhouse with a "FurCon2023" shirt wrapped around his brolic frame was rather on the shorter end of your list. His cargo shorts and pure white sneakers looked like they'd just been picked up off of the shelf and his glasses looked too small for his massive head.

You jump because you don't even notice him until he's tapping you on the shoulder and introducing himself. How did he know it was you?? Alarm bells are going off everywhere but there's cameras all over, he wouldn't try something in public right?? You take his measurements and look at fabrics together.

You ask about his fursona and he very seriously produces a laminated folder with several crudely drawn pictures of a polar bear suit. Well, you guess you shouldn't be mean, they were clearly drawn from references but you could tell this was someone who did not draw often. It didn't even have any accessories, it was just a normal polar bear... But the notes surrounding them were so neat they looked printed! And so in depth! There was one page solely dedicated to the visibility needs, with advanced notes on the camera and display system he wanted in the head. You'd only seen this sort of thing at the national cons, just who the hell was this guy??

You haltingly ask him if he was sure. You tell him this is really advanced stuff and he was looking at at LEAST 10k with all the specific modifications on it. When you first started making suits you would have never been this firm on pricing, lowballing and trying to make up the difference so as not to upset the customer with a hefty price, but you'd learned eventually that undervaluing your work was a waste of your time and effort so even though you couldn't gauge his reaction, you figured being upfront about the price would at least be a test to see how serious the guy was.

He nodded silently and reached into the fanny pack around his waist to produce the cleanest stack of hundreds you'd ever seen in your life, like straight printed from the treasury mint. He places it in your palm and you almost drop it out of shock.

"Will this be enough to get you started? I included some extra to compensate for lost wages as I do need this suit fairly quickly" he says, tone unreadable.

You stammer and try to look professional thumbing through the crisply banded notes and would you look at that, you think this will do just fine!

He nods again, shakes your hand and leaves without another word.

You exit the store, just trying to comprehend what in the hell you'd just gotten yourself into, zoning out so hard that you didn't even realize someone was yelling at you until the word "-fuckin furry faggot" pierced through your thoughts. You were looking at your phone so you didn't notice the band of truck bros creeping up behind you in their suped up pickup truck. There were three or four in the bed of the truck, dangling out over the side in between giant "TRUMP 2024" and "Lets Go Brandon" flags. They have their phones out, recording you and shouting slurs.

You raise double birds at them and turn to walk quickly in the opposite way, hoping you wouldn't see them as you walked home. You'd heard of a couple beatings happening locally and you didn't want to be around if that's what they had in mind.

So when you hear tires screeching and and engine roaring behind you, you break out into a run, hoping to make it to the bus terminal across the parking lot.

But they catch up to you before you'd made it halfway. They all get out and one grabs your phone that you held out to record with. He smashes it on the ground and shoves you into the pavement. Hard.

They all stand over you, jeering and laughing and you try to escape but your limbs won't listen to you. You always figured if something like this happened you'd stand your ground, maybe get in a couple of hits yourself, but in reality you could barely breathe and your chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, so your attempts to scream for help end up coming out as breathy wheezes. One of them levels a crowbar at you and thats when the screaming starts.

You curl up into a ball to protect your face but the pain never comes. You hear screaming and sneakers skidding across asphalt and oh god, wet crunchy impacts followed by something warm and wet being splattered across your arms and legs.

Its suddenly silent except for the drone of the truck engine but eventually you crack open an eye to get a look around, and for the second time that day you almost lose your lunch.

Its straight up something out of a video game, just absolute carnage surrounds you. All of the tall frat bros are out cold in varying stages of fucked up. You do actually start to hurl a little when you see one with his nose completely sideways like a gory Picasso.

And in the center of the carnage is -no fucking way- your fucking fursuit client, calmly wiping his hands of the blood with some baby wipes from his fannypack.

He looks over at you when he sees you're up and for a second there you see something, a slip in the mask, something angry, something violent. You flinch as you realize it, but oh fuck, this guys like.. killed people before. like, for fucken sure.

He walks towards you and you suddenly feel like a very small animal being stalked by a tiger. You try to stumble away but the mask is back on and he just looks down at you and offers you a babywipe.

"You alright?" He asks plainly.

Turns out the guy is "ex-military" and he hurt himself so he's back in the states and bored out of his mind. His daughter is a furry and wanted him to go with her to FurCon and insisted he get a suit as well. You keep on glancing at all the deep scars running up and down his arms and wondering how the hell you didn't see it before.

He's saying something to you but you only snap out of it when a phone is being placed into your hands. You look up and suddenly you're standing outside your apartment building (did you tell him where you lived???)

"This is a secure line, if anything happens to you or you have questions, I'll answer immediately." He says, pale blue eyes drilling into your skull with their intensity.

The tears start bubbling up in your eyes before you can stop them and you just lean forward, bumping your head into his chest and choking out a thank you as you clutch the phone to your chest like an amulet.

As you figured, his body is make out of steel and he stiffens at the contact, unsure of what to do.

He just lets you cry it out for a bit before eventually placing a heavy hand on your shoulder, pulling you off but he keeps the hand gentle.

He's not looking at you this time but he clears his throat and murmurs a quick "Take care" before turning around and disappearing into the night. You unlock your door and collapse into bed.

"What the fuck" you murmur to yourself as you pull out your tablet, and you start to sketch...

I dunno what I expected to find when I logged into tumblr today. Certainly not Hitman furry con fanfic. But I did. And it was glorious.

wow