The Apocrypals

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Bacteria do have souls, but binary fission doesn’t produce new souls 99% of the time, so most single celled organisms share these sprawling souls that just get bigger every time they divide. Over time they compact down into these big mats of soul get compacted into geological layers that gradually accrete to the world soul. Sexual reproduction creates new souls but they’re much shorter lived as a result, and rarely make it into the bedrock, so most of the world spirit is from the Proterozoic.

but do viruses have souls?

No. Some people think that this is because viruses have no metabolism and can’t reproduce on their own, and therefore do not qualify as life. In fact it is just because they are too small. Pneumatons, the constituent particle of soul, have a wavelength of about 1 micrometer, and so can’t be contained in cell membranes or protein envelopes smaller than that. This also means the smallest bacteria also don’t have souls. This includes mitochondria and their immediate ancestors, which was a major impetus for their symbiosis with eukaryotes in the first place. The eukaryote cell got a source of energy, and in return the mitochondria finally got to directly apprehend a portion of divine eternity.

this is super useful information, thank you!

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Huh. I guess Cain and Abel might have been sort of a subversion of a Sumerian (and therefore Babylonian) myth.

There's this whole category of Sumerian myths that take the form of debates or disputations. Enlil or some other god creates thing X and thing Y. X and Y argue which is better, presenting arguments to that effect. God offers a judgement, along with some sort of moral relating to the teleological functions of X and Y.

For instance, in the Debate between Winter and Summer, Enlil judges Winter to be the superior of the two, as that is when precipitation comes in Mesopotamia, which is necessary for agriculture. It's like Aesop's fables but for Sumerian simpletons from the 30th century BC.

Anyhow, there's a Debate between Sheep and Grain too. Sound familiar? Unlike in Genesis, grain comes out on top:

In the context of the Babylonian Exile, the Cain and Abel story seems like a fuck-you inversion. Cain the (Babylonian) agriculturalist is judged by God to be inferior to Abel the (Judahite) pastoralist. But then Cain kills Abel because he's an asshole, and God curses him for it.

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patron saint of stealing chips

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could u imagine if ppl talked about catholicism the same way they talked about like… indigenous ppl’s religions….

girl in horror movie holding a bible open: “according to legend, a mob tortured a half-man, half-god, and nailed him to a wooden cross, leaving him to starve to death. But days later, on this very night, they found he had clawed his way out of the grave. Now those who believe lie in wait for him to rise again, To honour him, they have weekly gatherings where they chant and sing, and at the end of it they eat his flesh and blood.”

girl’s friend: “wow.. thats so creepy…”

horror movie jock: “it’s only a myth, don’t worry”

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Me, to myself: I can't with this current affairs podcast right now. I'll listen to @apocrypals where it's 2018

Apocrypals opening music: We're on the HIIIIIGHWAY TO HELL

Me: You know what? That's fair.

Genesis 6:6-7

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From

@apocrypals Genuinely think this might be a contender for, if not a replacement, then a supplement to The Book of Job

“St Francis receives the stigmata” is a great motif because it’s just Spaceship Jesus coming in to fuck up his hands and feet with laser beams. Classic. Art.

pew pew pew pew

PEW PEW PEW

PEW PEW

PEW

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They say judas is in hell because he betrayed jesus but thats actualy a misconception, that was gods plan and so he didnt do anything wrong. Judas however IS in hell because god thinks he made his son gay

You cant fucking do this to me

NEW SCHISM NEW SCHISM

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a really fun recent commission: this custom bookplate for the curator of Judaica at the Museum of the Bible! it's based on a variety of texts that describe (at least some) sheydim as observantly Jewish - especially the Talmudic stories of Yosef Sheyda, a demonic scholar or possibly even a rabbi himself. the quote in the window is from Psalm 24, "the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it" which is often written above an owner's name in Jewish books, but provides double meaning here for the fact that sheydim too are divinely created. Jesse shares my love for sheydim as transgressive, marginalized figures who are nevertheless deeply Jewish, so this was an ideal collaboration & a delight to make!

also done entirely in Procreate, inked with True Grit Texture Supply's "Rusty Nib" engraver brushes - totally in love with this new process & the relative ease of accomplishing this type/level of hatching vs. traditional media (giving me added respect for the 17th century printmakers I've been studying). i will always love working traditionally but adding more digital techniques to my repertoire has been super useful.

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so you're telling me that the Catholics have a new mascot that's a cute anime-style blue-eyed teal-haired anime (girl(???) or boy, possibly???) and her name is Luce? As in latin for light, so they're a bearer of light? like... Lucifer? Okay.

Shooting the @apocrypals flare

Pyoo pyoo

so you're telling me that the Catholics have a new mascot that's a cute anime-style blue-eyed teal-haired anime (girl(???) or boy, possibly???) and her name is Luce? As in latin for light, so they're a bearer of light? like... Lucifer? Okay.

For better or worse, Luce has the power of God & Anime on their side.

holy shit the pope’s vtuber avatar reveal

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This is all they’ve been talking about in the Apocrypals Discord

The bookshelves at our free book charity are organized by volunteers, most of whom don't know much about comparative religion and philosophy, so at least once a week, I find a copy of The Gospel of Thomas under Christianity, and I have to move it to miscellaneous religion with a sticky note like "this is formally considered heresy but most denominations, it's worth keeping around, but do not send unless they use key words like Gnosticism, apocrypha, occultism"

my job on the commune would be

Pondering the work relationship between @nateconnolly and @cryptotheism on this combine

"Esoterica misfiled by well meaning Library volunteers" is quite literally why I own several rare occult texts for cheap.

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my brother in christ-

@apocrypals do you think the angel wrestling counts