As someone who’s been on both sides of discourse or no discourse, yeah. Fandom the way you’re comfortable.
Having to defend a ‘problematic’ favorite sucks. Because even though they’ve got problems, they’re my favorite. It makes me feel like shit because if one of my favorites is a villain then I have a bunch of assholes who think they’re in the right to put me down for it.
Let’s take an actual fucking example. My favorite character from BNHA is Dabi. One of the villains. When I talk about how much I like him or explain how things were fucked up for him, I have no less than probably 3 people in either the reblogs, responses, or in my inbox trying to say that I am - excusing murder, excusing terrorism, or forgetting he’s a villain. Literally every single fucking post that has more than maybe 200 notes.
I am doing none of these things, I’m just trying to talk about and enjoy my favorite character. I will gladly acknowledge that he has flaws, but I don’t want to have to mention it in every single fucking post I make. Just so I don’t get harassed.
This also happens with other characters I like. Such as Shigaraki, Overhaul, or Bakugo. I have to try and defend myself because apparently I can’t like a character without somehow excusing their actions. Even when I’ve made full ass posts about their flaws as well, but apparently liking them means I don’t know they’re not perfect and it pisses me off.
On the other side, I shouldn’t ever have to explain why I don’t like a character. Even if I have every reason in the world, I am not required to. For example, you cannot dislike Hawks or Miruko in the BNHA fandom without at least 10 different toxic people threatening you, telling you to kys, or just telling you you’re shit. This is something I have gone through. Politely asking me why I don’t like a character? Fine, I don’t mind, but harassing me because of it? Yeah, don’t do that shit.
So no, we shouldn’t have to always unpack and engage in discourse. We really don’t. It isn’t worth it sometimes and it can ruin the fun of just being in a fandom.