You're allowed to connect to ace/aro characters even if the rep is flawed. You're allowed to connect to ace/aro characters even if it's based more on personal interpretation than canon text.

Transcript below the cut:

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A brief overview of the asexual flag and an unpacking of the controversies surrounding it. See under the cut for a text transcription of the images as well as additional commentary and links to sources. 

You can engage with this post or discuss this in the notes, but I have some ground rules you must follow. Anyone not following these will be blocked, because I have zero interest in debating this stuff. To engage, you must:

I feel like those four will likely wield out a lot of the bad actors and exclusionists. If you see someone violating the rules of engagement, do not argue with them. Just @ me so I can block them. 

Keep reading under the cut for the transcript, commentary, and links.

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Being Trans Without Dysphoria Masterpost

Yes, you can be trans without dysphoria. Regardless of if it’s because you’ve transitioned to a point where you don’t feel it anymore, if you never had it to begin with or if you’ve got a neurodivergence that prevents you from feeling it.

I’ve decided to gather up the links I have saved about it in this post. But if someone has more resources and information about it, feel free to add more.

And please don’t start drama on this post.

🌈🌈🌈

Previous Masterposts:

“Parents can often be the last to know about their child’s gender identity, Ehrensaft says. Coming out can be terrifying for many transgender kids. Family members often respond with violence or distrust or may even kick the child out of the house. Almost 40 percent of transgender youth experience homelessness or housing instability, according to a 2022 report from the Trevor Project, a nonprofit that provides crisis support for young LGBTQ+ people. Many kids who wait to discuss their gender identity with their parents before appearing to “suddenly” come out are simply keeping themselves safe, Ehrensaft says.

”‘It is not rapid-onset gender dysphoria,’ she says. 'It’s rapid-onset parental discovery.’“

Lee says:

The word “transgender” is an umbrella term that is inclusive of (but not forced upon) anyone who identifies as a gender that they were not assigned at birth. 

Again, if you don’t fully identify as the gender you were assigned at birth 100% of the time, you can call yourself trans. That’s it, there’s no other criteria you need to meet to be trans.

Followers, feel free to add on!

[Image description: A large rainbow umbrella labeled “Transgender,” under which fall two other umbrellas. The left one is labeled “Binary,” and underneath it fall “trans man” and “Trans woman.” The right one is labeled “Non-Binary,” and underneath that fall identities like “Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Demiboy, Demigirl, Bigender, Agender, Neutrois,” “And more!” /End image description.] 

The Sapphic Flag

This flag was originally a lesbian pride flag proposal for more than just femme lesbians, but has expanded as an umbrella pride flag for all sapphic identities, and has become known in internet circles as “the sapphic flag.”

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A lesbian pride flag proposal that isn’t just for femme lesbians and isn’t by a racist, biphobic and transphobic person.

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A quick thing on sexual fluidity. There is nothing wrong with having a fluid sexuality.

(Image description: six images with black text inside a white square with a black border, the background image is a photo of blue, purple, and green hydrangea flowers; the text on the images reads:

“To have a fluid sexuality is to experience changes in sexual attraction or preferred sexual identity labels over a period of time. Having a fluid and/or changing sexuality is completely natural and is nothing to be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with experiencing changes in our attractions as we grow and further explore our identities. It is okay if having a fluid sexuality makes it difficult for you to choose a single specific label for your sexuality. It is okay if you identify with multiple sexuality labels, either at different times or at the same time. It is also okay to reject labels and be unlabeled. Having a fluid sexuality does not invalidate the identities of people with fixed or static sexual orientation identities in any way.”)

Allosexual aros aren't required to be more sexual than anyone else. Alloromantic aces aren't required to be more romantic than anyone else. You still choose what level of sex and romance feels right for you.

once again i randomly came across another one of Chii’s 4-koma comic strips about asexuality on Twitter and my reaction to seeing it has me feeling guilty and torn. ;(

for those who don’t speak Japanese, the comic introduces the term “ace” (slang for “asexual”) to Japanese readers and then explains how it’s connected to aces in playing cards. it also introduces readers to the concept / association that’s been floating around English-speaking ace communities of each suite being associated with specific orientations / identities. in the comic, it’s explained as:

before i start ranting going on and on about ‘nothing’, i want to point out that i’m happy that “ace” is being introduced here in Japanese. no conflicting feelings there. i do think it’s highly unlikely that it will ever catch on among Japanese aces for various reasons, a major one being that Aセクシャル / asexual in Japanese is often pronounced “ah-sexual” rather than “ey-sexual”, making any association with “ace” rather abstract and unintuitive. on top of that, Japanese aces already use Aセク / aseku (”ah-seku” / “ey-seku”) as slang for “asexual” anyway. but still, as i said, i’m glad it’s being introduced here if for no other reason than it maybe helping people to know wtf i’m talking about if i do happen to say 「エース」 (”ace”) in Japanese lol…

my guilt and conflicted feelings are in regards to the whole playing card association thing, which i’ve long since had equally conflicted feelings about when used in English-speaking spaces.

on one hand, i’m all for supporting those who embrace these associations and feel like they’re fun and / or useful for themselves. that is the case here for Aseku-kun, the character in orange in the comic, and i know that it is also the case for a lot of people. more power to those who like the whole card association thing. however, since i’ve always felt like the card association thing was / is problematic and meh to begin with, i can’t help but wince at the thought of these associations being imported into Japan…

…especially considering how Japan in general, including the Japanese セクマイ / LGBT community, has this tendency to uncritically and irreversibly import things from English-speaking countries (namely America) and then those imported things continue to exist and thrive in Japan long after English-speaking countries have evolved and moved passed such things for reasons.* if this card association thing were to gain ground in Japan, it’d forever be a thing even if English-speaking ace communities eventually abandoned it because of its limitations, problems, etc.

meh.

i know my feelings about the whole card association thing is an Unpopular Opinion, which is why i’ve mostly kept it to myself and am even playing it down now, but gah… i just… don’t want these associations to spread further, least of all to Japan, which makes me feel really selfish and ugh…

トランプのマークを活用するのが好きや役に立てる人は別にいいけどさぁ、いやぁ、そのマークを日本に紹介しないで！っていうすっごくイヤな気持ちになってしまって仕方がない…

*i’m slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that this is totally related to why Aセクシャル / asexual has come to mean aromantic asexual in Japanese, but i still lack any actual hard evidence for this conclusion, so… i’ll save that rant for another day.

I saw recently someone accuse nonbinary people of "riding the coattails" of binary trans people, and I cannot emphasize this enough: take my coattails, hold them in your hands, pull yourself up by my bootstraps. Together is how we thrive, together is how we fight, together is how we win.

There are queer people out there who when they see another branch of the queer community either succeeding or receiving support, their reaction is to try and pull them back down. The logic is often: if I had to suffer, so do you.

If I could give a piece of advice to anyone just entering the queer community, it would be: be wary of people who want suffering more than solidarity.

Remember, in this community, we are not here to fight for scraps, we are here to rise together.

The ace and aro communities have always been diverse communities. They've always been a spectrum or an umbrella. It doesn't matter where you fall on the ace or aro spectrum, you deserve to be here.

Being asexual doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy sex.

Being asexual means you don’t experience sexual attraction. 

I pronounce it as [ɛmætonɔrmətɪvəti]

The term was coined by Elizabeth Blake, who writes that “amatonormativity” is:

You can break “amatonormativity” into two words:

amato [meaning “beloved”] + normativity [the state of being the norm]

I’ll reblog this here as well because I frequently use the term in discussion. It’s also worth noting that amatonormativity is closely tied to heteronormative values regarding relationships and marriage.